


Reckoning Day

by Morgana_avalon



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 18:58:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 55,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18394382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: Susan dies and Lorien takes pity on her, giving her another shot to win Marcus' love.





	1. Chapter 1

PROLOGUE

 

// I’ve been such a fool! I really thought that I knew it all, didn't I? Susan Ivanova, the right hand of vengeance... sent by God... Death incarnate...//

Feeling tired, Susan’s body ached from fatigue and she sensed the return of a throbbing headache. It made her collapse onto the couch in her living room. The Minbari had given into furnishing the apartment the way she wanted a long time ago.

Although watching the latest ISN- broadcasts, her mind didn't register any of it. So much had changed in her life since she had become Ranger One that she wondered if her life on Babylon 5 had ever existed. She had led the Rangers for 10 years now and had acquired a deeper understanding of their principles than she had ever thought possible. They had given her a new home.

Delenn was still alive in body, but her mind seemed to have died together with her true love, John Sheridan. He had become weaker and weaker, until one day he had simply died. Delenn was desperately fighting to live with that loss. Susan understood her pain so well.

Quickly, she emptied the glass of Smirnoff vodka. It was the first alcohol she had had in ten years. Minbari didn't drink and it had been hell to get this bottle smuggled in here. But one of her rangers had succeeded in doing the impossible. When John had died, she had tried to escape into the intoxicated realm of alcohol, but it hadn't worked. While drunk, the ghosts of her past had an even firmer hold of her mind. There were so many ghosts haunting her. Far too many.

Mother, she had loved Sophie so much. But being the daughter of a telepath hadn't been easy. She still remembered the day Psi Corps had put her mother on sleepers because she refused to join them. That day, her mother had changed into someone else. Suicide had been the next logical step, as Susan now knew. But she had felt that her mother had deserted her. She had only been 6 years old when she had lost her mother. // Why did you leave me behind? I needed you so much!//

Ganya, how she longed to hear his voice once more. Her brother had died in the Minbari-Earth war. She had loved him so much and sometimes in her sleep, she heard his voice, saw his face. He had been the second loss in such short time. She had tried to turn to her father, but they were too different. He had fled into alcohol and work and had ignored her. Then she had joined Earthforce. He had made one more attempt to get in to touch with her before he’d died, but She hadn’t felt up to facing him. When he had died she had refrained from going to the funeral. She had been torn apart from the inside. At too young an age, she had had to deal with too many deaths and grief.

Her thoughts became unfocussed. She slammed the glass at the door and a hundred pieces of glass went swirling through the air.

Talia, sweet Talia. Susan had thought that she could give love one more chance. She allowed the telepath into her heart, even though there had been this tiny voice inside her head, warning her not to trust a telepath, to remember what they had done to her mother. Talia had turned out to be a psi corps puppet. She wondered, if she had ever known the real Talia at all. Another loss she had to bear.

John Sheridan. Captain, President, friend. His death had thrown her fiercely. She had found some comfort by Delenn, but the half human-half Minbari woman had gone back to Minbar to stay there for the rest of her remaining life. The moment Delenn had left for Minbar she had known that she would never see her friend again. This had been another final good-bye.

 

Michael Garibaldi and Stephen Franklin were still alive. Both old men now. The last time she had seen Michael, he had been happily married and his daughter had turned into a wonderful young lady. In her heart, she had felt envy and she had berated herself for it. She could have had that too, a family. But she had to be too damned arrogant to see the face of true love when it had appeared.

Stephen had retired from his teaching position at the Earth-Academy and was now living with his wife in Los Angeles. Who would have guessed in the old days that he and Lillian Hobbes would end up as a married couple? But she hadn't stayed in touch with her old friends these last years. That had been mostly her fault. Seeing their happiness had made her sad and melancholy. Every minute she’d spent in their company reminded her of...

// No, don't think about him. I can't take the pain of remembering his face!//

Being Ranger One had given her an excuse to stay away from her friends, telling them that her work consumed all her time.

She managed to get up from the couch and watched her mirror image. She had grown old too. She was over sixty, but felt like a thousands years old. Her hair had turned grey. She repelled, seeing her face in the mirror, staring back at her with haunted eyes. It shouldn't have been there. Not hers. She shouldn't have been Ranger One. =He= should have been.

//Damn you!//

She couldn't even think his name. The pain was too much to bear. But she also knew that the time had come to make peace with herself. She had to stop running; there was nowhere left to run. She was dying and she had known it for weeks now. The doctors had only confirmed her suspicions. Freedom had overwhelmed her when they’d told her.

//I am dying, at last!//

Her strength was leaving her. Every day she weakened a bit. Her eyesight had diminished and she had to use a cane to get around. She sat down, gently taking the ranger pin from the table where it had rested for so many years. They were her most treasured possessions; the pin and the fighting pike. When she had been training to handle the pike, she had used his. Durhann had been impressed by her vigorous style. He also had recognized whose pike she was using. She remembered Durhann asking her, if she knew how Marcus had acquired it. She had listened intensely. Durhann had known =him= and she was truly astonished when she learned that the pike had been a gift from Jeffrey Sinclair.

She centered her thoughts using the Minbari meditation techniques she now knew by heart. She had seen =him= use them often. She couldn't ignore the hurt any longer. Perhaps it would even sooth her restless mind to think of all the ridiculous things he had said or done to make her laugh. She realized that the time had come to think of an old friend who should have been a lover.

// In many ways he already was. I just refused to see it.//

Susan caressed the stone. Delenn had told her the legend, which surrounded it. The white-hot flame in which it had been forged; the holy water and blood it had been immersed in. Delenn had also told her, that when it had been taken from his cloak, that there had been visible stains of blood. Tears crept into her eyes. She wished she could have stopped him from giving his life force to her. She never deserved such a sacrifice!

//Oh, Marcus, can you ever forgive me? I was so stupid and headstrong. I knew all along you loved me. But I was a coward and let you suffer. I knew what 'Nusan fellani an alys medron' meant. I even thanked you for saying it. The way you looked, when you realized I knew... was priceless and I threw it all away because I thought I knew what was the best thing to do.

I never forgot the moment when you told me you loved me. I thought it was God welcoming me home. I always thought that he had a corny British accent. Then, when I realized what had happened... I forfeited my last chance to love again. All that time I knew you were waiting for me, you even stayed a virgin, waiting for that right person to come along... I really should have boffed you in those last hours before we went into that final battle.

I’m old now. The life force you’ve have given me is almost gone. I’m ready to die. I want to die; I want to rest.//

Susan took the ranger pin and fastened it to her dress, as if it could offer her comfort in her last moments. Lorien had told her to listen to her heart and she had ignored his advice. Marcus had paid the price for her stubbornness.

She slung her arms around her waist, wishing Marcus were here to hold her during these last moments, telling her that everything would be all right in the end, that she didn't have to be scared. But only the silence of her thoughts answered her and the darkness grew bigger. Her eyelids were too heavy and she cried when she died. She died the way she had lived; alone.

 

RECKONING DAY PART 2

 

Darkness smothered her. There was not a single light brightening the mind numbing blackness. No sound disturbed this awful tranquillity. Light-headed, she tried to feel her forehead, but noticed that her fingers were gone. There was no way to touch her brow. She shook with the realization that her entire body was gone. Her mind was the only thing left existing, or was it her soul? Where was she? Why was she here in this god-forsaken place? How was it possible that she was still thinking logically?

// Because you’ve reached another plain of existence. You have left behind your mortal body. You are dead and you have transcended to the next state of mind.//

Susan trembled when she recognized that voice. It was the voice of a very old friend, one who had cared for her. She knew that voice so well, but it had been so long ago since she had last heard it, too long ago. She realized that she had no longer a mouth to talk with, so she tried to reach out with her mind, sending her thoughts towards the First One. // Lorien? Is that you? What is going on? Where are you? Why can't I see you?// Many questions tortured her soul. Susan was fighting the feeling of panic rising inside her. Although she was Jewish, she had never been much of a believer. She couldn't believe in a god that allowed all this pain and grief. She had never given the idea of life after death a second thought. In one way, she had hoped there would be something, someone, but she had been too afraid to hope.

Suddenly Lorien appeared; his form lit up the darkness. He looked exactly the way Susan remembered him. She cringed seeing the goodness in his eyes. Why had she ignored his advice? She could actually feel the compassion radiating from him towards her. It made her feel so humble.

// We meet again, Commander.// His voice was soft and filled with friendship.

//Am I dead?// Although she knew the answer, she had to be sure. She had felt this lost only once before in her life. That had been the moment when she had realized that Marcus had died... Marcus...

// I am afraid so.//

Susan wondered what would happen next. She was so afraid. //Now what?// Susan wanted to reach out for Lorien, embrace the First One. She wanted to admit to him how wrong she had been. She regretted the choices she had made in her past. The pain was almost too much to bear. She deserved this abandonment, the desperation. Her soul was in distress.

//Like everyone else you will be judged by the maker.//

// The maker?//

// The creator… the essence of the universe… the essence of sentient life.//

Susan struggled to understand his answer.

//You humans named it God.// Lorien sensed her despair and wanted to calm her terrified soul.

//Why judge us?// Susan heard her old rabbi tell her that one day all humans would be judged. This was something almost all earth religions had in common.

//The creator has to decide what will happen to your soul. Every sentient being was given free will. Some used it better than others.//

Susan suddenly remembered something else and a chill entered her soul. If the earth religions had been right about judgement day, what about committing suicide?

//It is forbidden to take one’s own life.//

Lorien’s words burned her very soul. //Marcus!// In one way Marcus had died for her. Had his soul been punished for such a benign act? She rebelled against the injustice in those thoughts.

//It is time. The maker is ready to pass out judgement. Don't be afraid, Susan.//

His presence departed and her soul shivered. A new, much more powerful presence had arrived. Lorien had called it God. How could she deal with this?

//Susan Ivanova, daughter of Sophie Ivanova....//

//Yes… // Susan shuddered when the words impacted on her soul. The voice had addressed her Russian. She hadn't heard that language for so long. She had to fight back her tears. She remembered that her mother had taught her to pray in Russian when she felt frightened and alone...

//There is only one question you have to answer, child. Have you loved?//

Susan’s soul shrivelled in horror. She had feared the entity might ask her something like this. How could she ever pass this judgement? She had already convicted herself for this crime. Her soul was naked in front of this almighty being, showing all the feelings of guilt and unrequited love inside her.

//No, I scorned love and threw it away. I only realized what love was all about when the man who loved me died for me. I failed.// Susan felt relieved now she had spoken the words, which had been tormenting her heart for so long. Had she still possessed eyes she would have cried. But she had to know, even if it meant being imprudent. If Marcus' soul had been condemned, she was to blame for that as well. //What happened to Marcus' soul? Please tell me that you didn't punish him for his deed!//

//It is against the universal law to take one’s life. His soul will be judged when the last, remaining part of his being has joined. Only then his soul will be whole and ready to stand trial. The punishment will continue until the end of the universe has arrived.//

Susan cried out in growing despair. Would this be his punishment for saving her life? Was this being, this God, so cruel?

//Forgive me, great maker, but I want to speak on her behalf. She has suffered so much in her life... the man who died for her, he was in so much pain. I have seldom seen two people who were so tormented by their past. I beg you to have mercy.//

Susan listened to every word Lorien said. Was there hope after all? Lorien appeared; standing in front of her. Her mind reached out for his and his warmth soothed her.

The unknown entity seemed to have reached a decision. //Do you want to save his soul?//

Susan’s soul was pulled closer to the entity. //Yes, with all my heart.// It was the truth; she wanted to do this for him out of love. She knew now that she had loved him ever since he had come to Babylon 5. There was a silence coming from the entity, which frightened her.

//There is a way to save his soul.//

//I’ll do what ever it takes!// Susan had never been more determined to make things up to Marcus. She owed him so greatly.

//Understand this, child. There are several alternate dimensions. Marcus died for you a hundred times in different situations. There’s only one dimension left where he’s still alive. His soul can only be saved if you prevent him from taking his life. Thus saving his immortal soul from oblivion.//

Susan registered the information. She didn't care what happened to her. His eternal soul was much more important.

//You will be send there. If you stop him from committing suicide, I will reconsider his ultimate punishment. Do you comprehend that there is nothing in here for you? Your soul will be judged in the end too. It will only make a difference for his trial. After your task has been accomplished you will be drawn back here. Is that really what you want?//

//Yes, I can't bear the idea of =his= eternal suffering. What he did, he did out of love. He shouldn't be punished for that.//

Suddenly she sensed a rush of cold, very cold energy and the entity was gone. Only Lorien had remained behind. He looked at her thoughtfully and in surprise.// Lorien?//

//I am impressed, Commander. You managed to touch her heart. As long as I have been here, I can't remember her giving someone another chance.//

Susan realized that she had made a bargain with something she could never hope to understand.

//You will go back to Babylon 5 in an alternate dimension. I will fill you in on some details. There isn’t that much differences, except for two. One, Franklin managed to get back to Babylon 5 before Marcus could drain himself of his life force. Marcus blames himself for your death. He feels like he failed you. That deepened the already present death wise he carries inside his heart…

Second, Delenn has resigned as Ranger One to join Sheridan on Earth. She named Marcus as her successor. You will act as his new aide, now Lennier is leaving Babylon 5 to follow Delenn to Earth. You will be disguised as a female ranger, who has just finished her training on Minbar to become his aide. You are not allowed to tell Marcus who you really are. Do you agree to these terms?//

//And Marcus' soul will be free, should I succeed?//

//If you keep your end of the bargain.//

//I accept.//

//Good, your name will be Susan Michaels. Now leave me and save his soul.// Lorien felt how her soul was pulled back into a mortal shell. He hoped Susan Ivanova would find the love she had craved her entire life.

//She is gone?//

// Yes, thank you for offering her this second chance.//

//I hope that you are right, Lorien. There has to be order in the universe. I can't break my own rules for unrequited love.//

//You just did!//

//I did, didn't I? Perhaps not all love is unrequited. Come, my son, there are more souls coming here who have to be judged. Susan Ivanova is on her own now.//

Lorien’s body faded as he joined with that primal force that had created him and the universe; love.

 

Susan was forcefully dragged down into a body again. Her mind screamed when she experienced the violent intrusion of her being, the merging with the unfamiliar female body. She was exhausted, but opened her eyes nonetheless and recognized her surroundings. She was in a shuttle and Lennier was sitting next to her, talking to her. She decided to let him talk and to focus on her own personal situation for the moment. The energy in this young body baffled her. It was strong and well trained. She would have to work out a lot to keep up the shape she was in. It was the strangest thing to be in a healthy body after all those years of growing old and she couldn’t help touching the black hair, falling over her shoulders. It resembled silk. The ranger uniform felt reassuringly familiar as she had worn it for ten long years.

She remembered Lennier’s presence and looked at him. Her heart jumped when she saw the young Minbari, no lines of regret and pain edged on his face yet. In those last ten years Lennier had visited her often, telling her stories of Marcus she had never heard of. He had kept her mind away from despair many times. Her first impulse was to tell him what had happened, but she remembered the warning in Lorien’s words just in time and forced herself to listen to Lennier.

" He needs an aide. You have to keep his appointments and to make sure that he does not neglect his own needs. You were told what it was that threw him so badly?"

Susan realized that Lennier had asked her a question. What had it been all about? " No, I wasn't told what happened..." Susan decided that she would need all the information she could get. Lennier gave her a strange look, but she remained composed. She had had ten years to perfect that mask acting as Ranger One.

" Marcus Cole tried to save the life of the woman he was in love with, Commander Susan Ivanova. He was prepared to give his life for her, but he was stopped before he could execute his plan. He thinks he could have saved her. Commander Ivanova was placed in cryo. I feel bad that I have to leave him like this, but my first duty is to Delenn. "

Susan had realized long ago that the Minbari was in love with Delenn. She had felt sorry for him, but was surprised that he was so open about Marcus' emotions to a stranger.

" I tell you this because I think that you have to know what is troubling him. He needs someone who knows why he is acting this way. You, as his aide, will have to deal with him."

Susan wondered how bad Marcus was. She remembered how she had felt when she collapsed in Medlab, when she had fully realized what he had done. The loss had almost driven her insane. Now it was Marcus who had to deal with the loss and knew that she had made the right choice by coming here, no matter how painful this was going to be for the both of them.

Lennier remained quiet and they docked. Susan and Lennier quietly left the docking bay area. It felt good to be back here, but she wasn't prepared to see John Sheridan and Delenn walking up to her. John was alive!

" Lennier, we will be leaving in one hour. You will be ready in time?" Delenn looked at her trusty aide.

Lennier nodded. " I have packed my things. I will take ranger Michaels to Marcus' quarters and then I will join you and the Cap... President."

Susan couldn't look away from John’s face and felt like in a trance.

" Ranger Michaels."

Delenn greeted her and Susan returned the greeting. An old mechanism kicked into place when she wanted to speak the ritual words for accepting the homage paid to her as Ranger One. She managed to hold her tongue, reminding herself that she wasn't Ranger One anymore.

John and Delenn continued their walk to the White Star and she followed Lennier. She remained at a respectful distance as all rangers were taught. She was glad that she had spent ten years with the rangers otherwise she would have been completely unprepared for acting like one.

Lennier signalled her to stop walking when they reached Delenn’s old quarters. It seemed they were Marcus' new ones. Nothing could have prepared her for meeting Marcus Cole after all these horrid years of pain and longing.

 

 

RECKONING DAY PART 3 OF ?

 

 

Lennier pressed the door chime to get access to Marcus' quarters. Susan tried to prepare herself mentally for the impending confrontation, but found it didn't work. She couldn't believe that she was actually going to see Marcus alive. Lennier pressed the doorchime again. She could see he was getting anxious and shared the feeling.

" Marcus? It is I. Let me in!"

Susan realized that her task would be a difficult one; taking care of Marcus Cole could never be easy, but now? After all what he had been through recently she realized she would serve as his emotional punching bag.

" Marcus, let me in right now or I am going to ask Mister Garibaldi to override the system. I =will= get in there..."

Susan had seldom heard Lennier give way to anger and concern this openly. Lennier must have a genuine reason to be this concerned about Marcus. They were both surprised when the door unexpectedly opened. Lennier would have carried out his threat to step up to Garibaldi to force his way into Marcus' quarters. Susan peeked into the quarters. There wasn't that much to see; the lights were out.

" Marcus?" Lennier seemed to have calmed down a bit and his voice was a bit gentler, addressing the present Ranger One.

" Sorry, Lennier, I was tired and I didn't register the chime."

Susan almost hit the ceiling when she heard the adorable voice that she had missed for so many years. The moment that she heard his voice she vowed to keep him safe from harm. She would make sure that he was going to make it out of his personal hell in one piece!

" Lights, normal."

Susan involuntary held her breath. He was seated on the floor, cross-legged. His body was perfectly hidden by the long brown cloak all Ranger Ones wore. She had worn it for ten lonely years. The hood was up, hiding his face. Susan had to control herself. She wanted to leap towards him, pull the hood down and look into his marvellous green eyes. But she remained unmoving as a well-trained ranger would.

Lennier walked towards the huddled form. Susan desperately tried to see his eyes, to no avail.

" Marcus, are you ill?" Lennier waited impatiently for an answer.

Marcus moved a bit and Susan heard him whimper for a moment.

" No, just tired. Lennier, why can't you leave me alone? I thought you would be on your way to join Delenn and the Captain by now?"

" I will join them very soon my friend, but first I have to introduce you to my replacement."

" I don't need an aide. I can take care of myself."

Lennier didn't seem to agree with that statement. He shook his head, stressing his feeling.

Marcus had gotten to his feet by now, but seemed wobbly. He had to reach out for the wall to get some badly needed support. Lennier wanted to offer his arm as well, but stopped short when Marcus jerked away from him. What was going on here? Susan was baffled.

" I doubt very much that you can take care of yourself, Marcus and Doctor Franklin agrees with me."

" He always agrees with you… just for the thrill of disagreeing with me."

Susan smiled, there was still some vigour left in him.

"I will not leave the station before I am certain that you are in qualified hands."

Lennier beckoned her to come closer and Susan drew a deep breath. This was it… no more running away from her feelings.

" Marcus, this is your new aide. Delenn picked ranger Michaels personally. "

" I don't want him being around me."

Marcus still hid his face in the shadows of the hood and he almost tripped over his own feet as he wanted to turn away from Lennier. Susan felt the time had come to make her presence known. " Last time I checked I was still a woman, but I can ask the doctor for a second opinion, if you insist, sir." Her words hit target and Marcus tensed visibly.

" A woman?"

" Got any problems with that?" Susan actually enjoyed their verbal fight. She had missed it for far too long.

" No… I... "

Susan used the hesitation to make her demands. " Good, now that we have cleared up this little misunderstanding, lets get down to business. I will see to your current appointments and I suggest you go to bed to get some sleep. Looks like you need it… sir," she added the last word quickly. She was his aide after all and didn't want to attract any suspicion. Susan eyed his reaction carefully and realized that she had used the same tone as when shouting orders in C&C. She had to be a bit more careful around him. Susan felt coldness creep into her mind when she finally looked him in the eyes and wished she hadn't.

He threw back the hood in a frantic movement and Susan shivered. His face was ghastly white and there were very dark circles hiding his beautiful eyes. He had lost considerable weight and his eyes were distant. She searched for the wit in his eyes, but she only found chaos. There was a startling loneliness in his once shining eyes. It seemed like he wanted to argue with her, but apparently lacked the willpower to do so. Susan wanted to hold and comfort him so badly when she suddenly caught a reflection of herself in the mirror. //I’m Asian? I look Japanese? Thank you very much, Lorien,// and studied the delicate features of her face, the slightly golden color of her skin and the black eyes staring back at her. She had to admit that there was a rare beauty to that face.

Marcus stared at the unknown ranger for a moment. He was sure that he had never seen her before. She probably had just finished her training on Minbar, but yet she looked at him proudly, almost challenging him to question her authority. She reminded him of someone else. He quickly shook off the thought and wondered why Lennier had brought back this woman. There had to be some male Minbari much better trained for this job. Delenn had picked her so he couldn't send her back. That would be downright insulting to Delenn.

He felt so damned tired and realized that he had to get off his feet before he collapsed right there and now. He didn't want to give Lennier a reason to drag him to Medlab. He would never enter the place again as long as he lived. // I lost my love in there.// Slowly, Marcus walked over to a comfortable chair and sat down. He had spent hours sitting on the floor, attempting to meditate and his limbs had not yet fully awakened. There was no way out and he had to accept her as his aide, even though he didn't like the idea. " Well, Ranger Michaels. I believe that there is a spare room where you can move your stuff into. Lennier, show her?"

" Off course." Lennier showed her the comfortable room.

Susan remembered that her own aide Shaleen had had similar sleeping arrangements, living in her quarters. She had to admit that Marcus looked much worse than she had expected. Perhaps Lennier could provide her with more answers. " I didn't realize that he was that bad." She watched him nod. Lennier sat down next to her on the bed, looking for the right words to say. Apparently the Minbari needed to unburden his heart.

" I do not envy you. He has always been difficult to be around, but since the Commander died... "

Susan jumped right in there, firing off another question. " When did she die?"

" She was put in cryo 10 days ago, all her vital organs had gone down and she was dying. Doctor Franklin made the decision to put her in cryo. Marcus believes that she will never return to us. He refuses to hope that she will be healed one day."

Susan needed more information so she continued her line of questioning, hoping that Lennier wouldn't think her questions suspicious. After all, she was supposed to take care of him. " Delenn made him Ranger One?"

" Yes, she always wanted him to be the next Ranger One. But she also felt that he needed a reason to stay alive after the Commander’s death. You must know that we are worried, worried that he will give up and..." Lennier had trouble finishing the sentence. " He is doing a great job as Ranger One so far, is well liked and respected amongst the rangers. He is a good leader, but exhausting himself. You noticed his fatigue?"

Susan nodded. He looked like hell, as if he hadn't slept in days.

" He hasn't slept since she was put into cryo. I think he is afraid to close his eyes. I called in Doctor Franklin, but Marcus threatened him with his pike and the doctor had to make a run for it. "

" He has been awake for 10 days in a row? That is bad!"

" I know, but I can not get through to him, perhaps you can… " Lennier knew that he had to get going now if he wanted to be on the same shuttle as Delenn and looked at her questionly.

" Don't worry. I will take care of him, no matter what I need to do. I can also threaten him with my pike, even if he is Ranger One."

" There is one more thing you need to be aware off." Lennier looked even more disturbed now.

Susan knew that the real reason for his concern would emerge now.

" After the Commander’s death, some... strange things started to happen."

" Like what?"

" Marcus has... terrible headaches. He told me he hears Ivanova voice yell at him in anger. He refuses to let Doctor Franklin examine him so it was never diagnosed. But something else happened as well…"

Susan was getting impatient. Lennier was stalling; unwilling to tell her. He seemed to find his courage again and continued.

" I asked a ranger to get certain food supplies. Marcus is fond of oranges and the ranger brought them to me. It is my habit to check all things Delenn will eat and I am glad I did the same thing with the fruit I was preparing for him. It was poisoned; it would have killed him very slowly and he would have been in a lot of agony."

Susan began to understand why Lennier was so restless. " You think someone is trying to kill him?"

" To kill him or to drive him to commit suicide. You see, two days after the Commander was put in cryo I started to find data crystals, laying in front of the door. I played them. There was only one message on them. One word, to be more accurately; MURDERER. I never told him about them."

Susan was getting furious at whoever was behind this. How did they dare to torment him like this? " Murderer? I don't get it!"

" Neither do we."

" We?"

" I informed Mr. Garibaldi of the threats and intimidation. He promised to investigate. You should keep in touch with him to see if he has managed to discover who is trying to hurt Marcus."

Susan was thinking. Why would someone want to cause Marcus this much pain? But even more important was to find out who was pulling the strings." I will talk to Mr. Garibaldi." Susan had almost said; Michael and realized she had to be alert. She couldn't allow these slip-ups too often. But at least now she knew what she was up against and was determined to ensure Marcus' safety.

 

Susan emerged from her room shortly after Lennier had left Marcus' quarters. She had heard the brief exchange between the two friends. Marcus had been too silent and she had known what he had been thinking; someone else was leaving him behind. She folded her cloak carefully and waited till Lennier had left. //All right Susan, you know how to act and what to do, get started!//

Marcus was sitting in the chair again and had drawn his hood over his face once more. She waited for him to notice her as she didn't want to intrude.

" Yes?"

Uncanny tiredness colored his croaked voice. " Just wondering when you were going to get that sleep, sir." Her heart shrivelled when he laughed as the bitterness was edged against himself.

" Didn't Lennier tell you that I don't sleep anymore?"

Susan was getting fed up with his attitude. She could play hardball too. " Yes, but I told him that I’m determined to render that. As your aide I’m responsible for your health." His face turned to study her and she held her breath; his eyes were clouded.

" You remind me of someone…"

Susan swallowed hard. She knew to whom he was referring and realized she had to break this painful silence. " Shall I fix you something to eat, sir?"

Marcus shook his head. " I’m not hungry. You’re excused. I won't need you the next couples of hours. Just be here this evening. I’m having a meeting with the Narn Ambassador and I will need you to set up more dates for possible appointments."

Susan bowed slightly. She remembered Shaleen doing that after she had given him her instructions. But Marcus wasn't getting out of this one that easily. " When did you eat for the last time, sir?" Her boldness was irritating him and Susan knew who was going to win this one; she was.

" I told you, that’s none of your business!"

" But it is, sir. What will people say when Ranger One collapses from hunger and fatigue? I’m determined to live up to my responsibilities. You will get some sleep while I go through all appointments you have today and then you will eat something." This was a battle of the minds and Susan had the advantage; she knew how to handle him.

Marcus was stunned by the impudence of this particular ranger. Deep down in his heart he felt some admiration for her. //Susan… would have liked her.// The look she gave him told him that she was going to impose her will on him. How could he protest? His aide was a woman... spank her, throw her out? That was against his principles. There was only one thing left to do; to give in. He had always given in to his Susan. This woman seemed to have a mind equally filled with fire. What was wrong with lying down for a while? He knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep. He had had the most horrid nightmares and headaches after her death, while being asleep and didn’t want to face those dreams again.

Susan watched him make his way to the bed. He sat down, slid onto the bed until he was lying down, but his eyes remained open and she knew he wasn't going to close them. More extreme measures were needed. " You are not going to sleep?"

" I can't." Marcus felt exhausted after his vigil for 10 days but knew that the nightmare was lurking to catch him in his sleep.

" I’m going to get Doctor Franklin in here. This is definitely unhealthy behavior.” His irritation grew, but he didn't get up. Susan suspected he was too tired to do so.

" I forbid you to call him."

" You forbid me? You must be kidding!" What was it that brought out the old Commander Ivanova now she was near him again? She thought that she had long passed that stage and looked him in the eyes, never yielding to his demanding gaze. " I =will= call him, sir!" Susan was amused to see his bafflement. Shaleen would never have objected to one of her orders like she had done just now and was amazed to see Marcus give in. His exhaustion showed clearly at this point. " You stay here, sir. I will be back with the doctor in a few minutes." Susan had to remind herself not to call him Marcus that would be considered far too familiar.

Marcus watched her leave the bedroom and briefly wondered if she was related to Ivanova somehow. Only Ivanova could make him feel so small...

Susan had no trouble getting through to Medlab. She sighed when she saw Stephen's young face. He looked up when he realized the origin of the call. He was obviously surprised to see a woman calling in from Marcus' quarters.

" Yes?"

" I’m Susan Michaels, Marcus Cole’s new aide and I think you should have a look at him. He needs medical attention."

A puzzled look appeared on Stephen’s face. It was as if Stephen was trying to figure something out that had eluded him previously.

" I know. I tried seeing him a few days ago, but he was swinging that pike of his at me. Do you think he will actually allow me in?"

Susan laughed; picturing Marcus doing that to the doctor. " Don' t worry about that, doctor. I will make sure he will behave himself." Susan closed the connection and waited for the doctor to arrive, keeping a close eye on Marcus who was still staring at the ceiling with unseeing eyes.

 

 

RECKONING DAY PART 4 OF ?

 

Marcus ignored the annoying sound the door chime made. He knew who was pressing it and had absolutely no desire to meet Stephen Franklin. Something told him that his aide was going to be quite a nuisance. He had managed to avoid Stephen during these last days, but now the time of running away had come to an abrupt ending. This bloody woman was going to make him face Stephen. This Su... Susan Michaels was extremely headstrong. And why did her name have to be... Susan?

Susan opened the door and Stephen Franklin entered the room. The doctor looked worried and there was a certain unease to his movements, as if he expected Marcus to show up, swinging that pike at him once more.

" Doctor Franklin? I’m Susan Michaels, his new aide. I’m glad that you could come this quickly. He isn't well at all." Stephen almost choked when she mentioned her name to him and understood his reaction. She had felt like that for more than twenty years every time somebody had mentioned Marcus' name.

" Su... Miss Michaels. It was about time somebody forced him to get medical attention. He hasn't been himself lately. No wonder, considering what happened…"

" He’s in the bedroom. I told him to lie down."

Stephen studied this slightly build woman. The black eyes were shooting fire. He hoped that she would never be his enemy. Something about her made him feel jumpy. He understood now why Marcus had allowed him to come. She wouldn't take no for an answer. He almost pitied Marcus for being stuck with her as an aide. //Marcus,// and he wondered how messed up his friend was. He proceeded to the bedroom and peeked inside. Marcus was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Marcus was suffering from severe trauma after all he had been through. " Marcus? Can I come inside?"

" If you have to."

Marcus' voice was barely more than a whisper and Stephen heard trepidation in his words. Stephen gathered all his courage and knew that this confrontation wasn't going to be solely about Marcus' health. Something else was eating the ranger. Stephen walked over to the bed as Marcus pushed himself up into a sitting position, avoiding his eyes. The tension between them was evident.

Susan watched the scene from the central area. She didn't want to eavesdrop, but Stephen had left the door open and she couldn't resist the temptation to observe the exchange.

" Have you slept and eaten lately, Marcus?"

Marcus sneered at the comment. There was something undeniable sad and bitter in the sound." Why ask that question? What is it to you? Why care for me now?"

Stephen expected this reaction and knew he had to address the issue. " You are my friend, Marcus. I CARE for you."

" Yeah right, that's way you prevented me from saving Susan. That was what I wanted to do, Stephen, give up my life for hers. If you had considered me a friend, you would have let me do just that! I only wanted to save her. You had to stop me, =you=!”

Stephen sensed the growing anger in his friend. He had wanted to talk things over with Marcus right after he had to put Susan in cryo, but Marcus had run away from Medlab. They had found him the next day hiding in Down Below, huddled up in a corner amongst the lurkers who knew the ranger and had kept a close eye on him. One of his contacts had gotten worried and had taken Lennier there. Marcus had been near hysterics when had Stephen offered to help him up and had refused all contact with the doctor. Though it had hurt Stephen, he knew that Marcus had been in much more anguish. After all, it had been he who had stopped the ranger as he had been trying to hook himself up to that damned machine. Stephen had hated it, but Marcus had to be put in restrains. When he wanted to check on his friend Stephen had found the Medlab bed empty and the ranger gone. Garibaldi had sent out a search party at once.

" Marcus, there is no way of telling if the device would have worked at all. Her body was damaged beyond repair and I couldn't bear the thought of possibly losing another friend. I did what I did, because I care for you!”

Marcus slowly rose to his feet to confront Stephen. The hood had slipped back and now revealed the angry green eyes, burning with an unholy fire. " You couldn't stand the idea of losing another friend? Did you ever stop to think how I was supposed to go on living without her? I wish I had died as well. Life isn't worth living without her... Well, did you think of that, Stephen?"

Stephen was prepared for the blow Marcus threw at him. He had no trouble capturing the arm of the weakened ranger, blocking the blow to his jaw. Stephen felt relieved now Marcus was getting his feelings in the open. Marcus couldn't help trembling fiercely and Stephen steadied him. " Get back in bed, Marcus. You have gone through a traumatic event and you need to get some rest."

Stephen saw that Marcus' aide was watching them, ready to interfere should it be necessary and nodded towards her, to assure her that he could deal with the situation. She averted her eyes. Stephen felt Marcus' body go limb and he moved him back to the bed. This emotional outburst had exhausted Marcus who needed to sleep so badly. Lennier had informed him of Marcus' nightmares and headaches and he been furious when Marcus hadn't allowed him to examine him. He looked his friend in the eyes. Marcus had calmed down quite a bit and Stephen grabbed a scanner to check him out. Marcus remained quiet. Too quiet.

" Marcus?" Stephen completed the scan and helped Marcus to sit up. He pulled up the comforter and made sure that Marcus was resting comfortably. The ranger had felt cold to the touch when he had forced him to lie down. It was obvious that Marcus desperately needed to sleep.

" I’m sorry... I lost my temper... bad habit of mine... I said it in a fit of anger. I didn't really mean it, Stephen. I do understand your point of view... can you forgive me for trying to punch you?"

" Don't worry about that, Marcus. There’s nothing to forgive. You need to get better. Will you allow me to give you some medication so you can sleep?'

Marcus shook his head in denial. He had no desire to revisite his nightmares. Stephen guessed the reason and took out two blue pills.

Susan caught his gaze as he signalled her to get some water.

" What if I promise you that this medicine suppresses any brain activity that would cause you to dream? You will sleep, deeply, and there won’t be any nightmares."

Marcus looked up at him, wondering " That is the truth?"

" Cross my heart and hope to die." Stephen grinned as Marcus tentatively took the pills from the palm of his hand.

Susan entered, handed Stephen the water and retreated; relieved that Stephen was making some progress with Marcus and she didn't want to intrude.

Stephen closely watched Marcus as he apprehensively swallowed the medicine. Marcus eyed him, anxiously.

" What is it, Marcus?'

" Stay here until I’m asleep, Stephen?"

Stephen nodded. The medicine only needed a few minutes to work." Do you feel relieved now you spilled your guts?"

" I’m not sure, but I think, yes." Marcus actually felt the paralysing sensation of sleep flowing through his body. He was so damned tired. " You aren’t mad at me?"

" NO, Marcus. I am not mad at you. Try to relax and don't fight your sleep."

Marcus yawned, his eyes started to close against his will. He felt safe in the darkness of his mind and drifted off to sleep.

Susan had waited until Marcus was soundly asleep before stepping up to Stephen.

Stephen read the results from the scanner and addressed her. " He needs lots of sleep and healthy food. These pills will ensure his sleep for at least 10 to 12 hours. I don't think you will be able to wake him during that time. When he wakes, make sure he eats and drinks something. I will check on him in 12 hours to see how he is doing." Stephen collected his items and she walked him to the door. Stephen stopped her before leaving the quarters. " I’m glad you managed to convince him to let me examine him. We need to keep a close eye on him. You should cancel his appointments. He has to rest as much as possible."

" I understand. You can rely on me."

" I know... " Stephen seemed to ponder something. " Would you have dinner with me tomorrow evening?"

Susan had to keep herself from bursting out laughing. Was he trying to hit on her? She never thought Stephen would do something like this. After all he was married to Doctor Hobbes! " I have to decline, I’m afraid. At this moment Marcus Cole is my priority. I don't want to leave him alone." Susan hoped that she hadn't hurt Stephen’s feelings.

" Well, it was worth a try." Stephen shrugged and left.

Susan chuckled; watching his retreat.

 

She accessed his computer files and contacted the Narn Ambassador. She was able to explain to the Narn that Marcus couldn't attend the meeting and set up another appointment. It seemed that the Narn didn't consider the issue at hand that important. She also cancelled another ranger meeting for him. Then she turned to the kitchen to find that Lennier had provided her with remarkable food supplies. She also found the scanner to check for any poison.

While making some real coffee she wondered why he had it stashed in here. Marcus didn’t drink coffee. She drank some hot coffee and went to the bedroom. Marcus had curled himself into a ball, looking damn vulnerable. //An easy target for any attacker.// She secured the door with passwords, making sure no one could sneak into his quarters. She also looked for weapons and found his pike, lying on the kitchen table. Balancing it in her hand for a moment she remembered its slight weight.

She returned to the bedroom and watched Marcus for several minutes. It was like her most treasured fantasy had come true. Marcus was alive and they were in the same room. There was something she wanted to do so badly... Stephen had said that Marcus would be out for at least 10 hours and she was tired herself. He would never know...

Susan removed her boots and lay down behind him. She slipped her arm under his head and pulled him to her, feeling how cold he was and tried to warm him using her own body heat. After she slung her other arm around him she let it rest on his chest. After a moment’s hesitation she slipped her hand underneath his tunic to feel the beat of his heart and draped one leg over his to breath softly into his neck. She enjoyed lying spooned like this and savoured every moment. After dreaming about doing this for 20 long years she was finally listening to him breathe and discovered that her own breathing had adjusted itself to it. She wanted to hold him like this forever and pulled him even closer, momentarily afraid she was preventing him from breathing properly and loosened her grip a bit. Laying her head against his back she couldn't help whispering words into his ear, now that she was sure that he would never hear it.

" I love you, Marcus and I’m so happy that I’m allowed to share these brief moments with you. It’s more than I ever hoped for." A tear ran down her cheek. After what seemed a lifetime to her, she was holding her love in her arms. His name resembled a prayer as she repeated the admission she had made earlier. " I never loved anyone this much, Marcus. You’re the other half of my soul and I was such a fool to ignore you. I promise you that I’ll be your guardian angel as long as I’m here." Susan kissed the back of his neck, ruffling his hair with a hand.

//One hour, I’ll stay in bed with him for one hour... It will help me to get through whatever will come. This could be the only chance I’m going to get to be this close to you.// She didn't realize that she dosed off herself, clinging to him like a frightened child.

 

RECKONING DAY PART 5 OF ?

 

Susan hadn't slept this well for more than 20 years and was reluctant to wake up. In the end she opened her eyes and looked straight at the face of one Marcus Cole, who had turned about in his sleep.

She sighed; thankfully he was still soundly asleep. She would never have been able to explain to him why a newly arrived aide was holding him in his sleep. After untangling her arms she climbed out of the bed, feeling terribly relaxed and checked the time. Great, she had been asleep for more than two hours! She looked one more time at Marcus' face, kissed him softly on his sensual lips and strolled into the central area.

There was a lot to do and she had no idea how much or how little time she had been given to prevent Marcus from dying. She walked over to the Babcom console and tried to establish a connection to Michael. Apparently Garibaldi had been restored to his former function of Chief of security after that revolting trick Bester had played on his mind. She had talked to Michael many times after he had settled down and had started a family. Every time Susan had mentioned Bester he had become very quiet and she had seen the pain on his face. Even 20 years hadn't been enough to ease his suffering.

She was patched through to Garibaldi and couldn't help smiling, seeing his face. She realized that she had been daydreaming of past days and quickly returned to the present. " Mr. Garibaldi?" //Keep up the mask, Susan. You can't let him know who you really are!//

" Yes. You must be Lennier’s replacement. He told me you would be contacting me shortly to discuss the strange things that happened lately to Marcus."

" That’s why I’m contacting you, but I would like to discuss this privately. You never know who is monitoring this transmission."

"I agree. Whoever is behind this is keeping a close eye on Marcus."

" Could you come over to his quarters? I don't want him to be on his own. Doctor Franklin just gave him some sleeping pills and he’s an easy target at the moment."

" I can see you in 1 hour."

" That is a deal." Susan closed the connection and went back to the bedroom to slip into her boots. Her eyes were constantly drawn to Marcus' sleeping form. Why hadn't she seen his love for her when they both had been alive? His death had been such a tragic waste. She disconnected her eyes from him and searched for the data crystals Lennier had mentioned. Finally, she found them in a draw in her own room. Silently, she played them. Lennier had been correct when he had informed her that only word would appear on the screen, MURDERER.

Susan was at a loss. She knew that most rangers had been forced to kill some of their opponents in the heat of battle. But what worried her was the timing. Why were these messages delivered to his door right now? Why so short after the Susan Ivanova of this dimension had died? Had her death triggered the action?

She rubbed her forehead. She was guessing at this point and she didn't particularly like it. She needed facts and information. But most importantly, Marcus had to stay unaware of this intimidation. There was no way of telling what kind of impact this would have on his already troubled soul. She was also worried about the mention of his sudden headaches in which he was tormented by hearing her scream at him...

Suddenly, the doorchime announced a visitor. " Who is it?" She wasn't going to open that door without knowing who was waiting outside. She had to be careful.

" Michael Garibaldi." She opened the door and approached him, extending her hand. " I’m Susan Michaels. If it bothers you to call me Susan, call me Michaels, I don't care."

" No, that won't be necessary. It will just take me some time to get used to calling you Susan. You see, we just lost Commander Susan Ivanova."

" I know."

They sat down. She caught him looking at Marcus, asleep in the bedroom. Susan was touched to see a look of concern on his face. Michael and Marcus had never been friends. Garibaldi thought the ranger to be too much of a nagging pain in the ass, but there had been a mutual understanding between the two of them.

" So, he allowed Stephen in after all?"

" I made him."

" I’m impressed."

The Chief observed her and Susan said, " About these crystals..."

As she placed them on the table Michael nodded. " I saw the message, but don't get it. I know he irritates a lot of people, but who would want to poison him?"

Susan was going along with his line of thinking. " I always considered poison a woman’s weapon, but with all these Centauri around ... They use it a lot."

" Centauri? What reason would they have for wanting to kill him?"

" Beats me."

" Can you get me the files of all new arrivals of the last 15 days? It's a straw but we have to start somewhere."

" I will see to it that you will get them and I have posted some security guards nearby, in case you need some reinforcements."

" Don' t worry, Chief. When I get my hands on this sick person I will need no help. I was well trained."

" I have seen Marcus create havoc with his pike. You got one too?"

Susan didn't know. She felt for her belt and wasn't surprised when nothing was there. " No, I didn't get permission to carry on." His curiosity showed and she knew she had to explain. " When you start ranger training only the best are allowed to train with Master Durhann. He is the one who decides which ranger has mastered the use of the Minbari fighting pike. Then this ranger is allowed to carry one of his own. There are only a few non-Minbari rangers who ever mastered the pike. Marcus is one of them. He managed to impress Master Durhann and he got his pike from Jeffrey Sinclair." She definitely saw a reaction when she mentioned the name of his former comrade in arms.

" From Sinclair?"

" Yes, Sinclair intended to give the pike to Catherine Sakai, the woman he loved. But she was lost in time so he gave it to Marcus instead."

" I knew Jeffrey had a crush on her, but I never knew she disappeared in time, or that he and Marcus were close."

" They had something in common, Chief. They both lost the woman they were in love with."

Michael moved closer and Susan regretted that she had ever brought up the subject. But she realized that she couldn't leave him hanging. She remembered her own curiosity when Ratheen had told her these things. " Marcus Cole joined the rangers after he lost his brother and the girl he loved in a shadow attack. Sinclair knew William Cole and decided to keep an eye on Marcus. When Sinclair lost Catherine, it was Marcus who comforted him..."

Garibaldi leaned back, pondering this new information. There was something else though he wondered about. How did this young ranger know that much about Sinclair and Marcus Cole?

Susan shrugged her shoulders, knowing what he was thinking about. " When it was decided that I was going to be his aide, I was told everything I needed to know to perform my duties. I wouldn't mention any of what I told you to Marcus if I were you..."

"I understand... what are we going to do about these threats?"

" I’ll start going through the new arrival files. I guess we will have to wait for the next move. At this point, we don't have anything to act on."

Garibaldi got to his feet and peeked one more time at Marcus who was still asleep. He liked this Susan Michaels... she would have made a fine officer. Too bad she had chosen the rangers and decided that it was time to leave. There were some things he wanted to investigate concerning these messages and he wanted to reassure himself that the security guards were at their posts.

Susan showed him out and watched him disappear into the core tube. She could count on his support.

 

Susan busied herself by catching up some paperwork Marcus hadn't finished yet. She had to admit that the work he had done was of a very good quality. There was a system to his approach she liked and quickly adopted it. If she did everything his way she would be done in half the time she would normally have used. She checked the time.

Marcus would certainly be asleep for 4 more hours and Susan went into the kitchen to see what kind of meal she could prepare. She settled for a Chinese dish after probing the foodstuff for poison. Satisfied, she started to prepare dinner. It would only take some re-heating when Marcus woke.

After she had finished setting the table she headed to her own room, determined to get more sleep. She longed for Marcus' embrace, but she knew that his sleep wouldn't be that deep anymore now that the sleeping pills were losing their effect and she wouldn't get away with it a second time. She lay down and remembered how safe she had felt laying next to Marcus. She could have felt like that 30 years ago if she hadn't been such a coward. Perhaps the debris wouldn’t have hit her if she had been standing near Marcus, perhaps even holding him in those last moments of that fatal battle... She would never know. Susan set the alarm and went to sleep, thinking of Marcus Cole who was asleep in the other room.

The alarm woke her and she quickly sat up in her bed. She still wasn't completely used to this young and strong body. Pain had been her companion for the last years of her life when the life force Marcus had given her was weakening. She stretched lazily and got dressed, wearing her ranger uniform once more. She figured that Marcus would be waking up within the hour and went to his bedroom. He was laying on his back, clutching the pillow in his sleep. Susan sighed and resigned to the fact that she would have to wait for him to wake up.

 

She didn't have to wait too long. While sitting on the couch reading, she was distracted by moans coming from his bedroom. She put the book down and saw that Marcus was trying to crawl out of bed. His eyes were closed and he was mumbling something incoherent. She was at his side in a minute, trying to get him to lie down again.

" I am... awake... how long did I sleep?"

" 11 hours, more or less."

His eyes flashed open, still clouded from the drug- induced sleep. " What? I had appointments..."

" I rearranged them. You can rest some more if you want to."

Marcus was rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he wanted to get up so badly, but his body was unwilling to follow his mind’s instructions.

" Why don't you take your time waking up? I will prepare dinner in the mean time."

Marcus heard the words, but had trouble comprehending them. What the hell was that woman talking about? Hearing the door chime he knew for certain that it had to be his other nemesis, Stephen Franklin.

" I will get that." Susan ran from his room. Her desire to take him in her arms had almost overwhelmed her.

" It is I, Stephen."

Knowing it was safe to open the door she let him in. There was a queer look on his face. He was carrying a letter in his hand and extended his hand towards her. " I found this on the doorstep..."

Susan heard the ominous tone in his voice. They both looked into Marcus' room. He was still struggling to wake up. It seemed safe enough to open the letter. The words had been typed, no handwriting. Susan swore. On the envelop were two words to be seen; Marcus Cole.

" Shouldn't you hand it over to him?" Stephen wondered why she was opening a letter addressed to Cole.

Susan ignored the remark and carefully opened the letter. Her breathing halted for a moment when she read the message and forgot that Stephen was watching over her shoulder.

‘You WILL die, Marcus Cole!’

Stephen began to understand what was going on. Garibaldi had been running around, saying that there was some urgent business he had to take care off. Could it have something to do with this death threat? "What's going on? No wonder Michael was that agitated."

Susan wished that she had paid more attention to him while opening the letter. It had never been her intention for Stephen to find out the truth. " Yes, he has been receiving death threats, ever since this Commander Ivanova died." Susan realized that there was no use in hiding the facts any longer and hid the letter in one of her pockets. Quickly, she looked over at Marcus who was trying to get out of bed. He was looking about as if he had no clue at all to where he was.

" He should be lying down. Those pills were rather strong." Stephen gave her a look that promised her that he would keep quiet and Susan felt relieved. Stephen proceeded into the bedroom and steadied Marcus by taking his arm. His friend’s eyes were closed and he seemed to be slipping back into sleep. " Sit down. Marcus." Stephen helped him find the bed and sat him down. Marcus was asleep again and Stephen helped his friend to gain a more comfortable position. He took out his scanner and ran a test. Marcus was still heavily under influence of the sleeping pills, but in a better shape.  
Susan stepped into the bedroom, waiting for Stephen to address her.

" You better start that dinner"

" I will, but there’s one thing I need to do first." Susan headed to the Babcom console and contacted Garibaldi, telling him of the new threat. Anger burned in his eyes.

The Chief told a security guard to get the letter and closed the connection to continue his private investigation.

Susan handed the letter to the guard, realizing that Garibaldi had much better equipment to search for any clues left on the letter than she had.

At that moment Marcus and Stephen emerged from the bedroom.

Marcus felt drowsy. His eyes were fighting to stay open and he hadn't felt this relaxed for a very long time. Stephen had promised him that there would be no nightmares, but he had dreamt nonetheless. Susan had held him in his dreams and it had felt so comfortable. It had been a cruel awakening. He smelled the Chinese food and was surprised to hear his stomach growl from hunger.

" I prepared some dinner. I hope you like Chinese food. You’re welcome to join in Stephen. I made enough for 3."

Stephen smiled; three was a crowd and he had seen the look in Susan Michaels’ eyes when she was watching Marcus. He now understood why she had declined his invitation to dinner. " Thanks, but I still have a lot of work to do back in Medlab."

Marcus was about to sit down as the room started to spin. He fell hard to the floor and realized what had happened when his body twisted in pain. The headache had returned and this voice was screaming at him.

//You could have saved me, you bastard. You deserve to die!//

Susan hurried to his side as he dropped to the floor, pushing his hands against his head as if he wanted to crush his skull. What was going on?

//You’re a murderer!//

Stephen’s face contorted in horror, as the words appeared in their minds. There was no way of telling if it was a male or female voice as it was fiercely distorted. " Did you hear that too, Stephen?"

" I did."

 

RECKONING DAY PART 6 OF ?

 

Marcus was certain that he had gone insane at last. The voice kept yelling at him, repeating the same words over and over again till he thought that his head was going to explode. The pain was excruciating and he was seriously considering the idea of killing himself just to be rid off the agony inside his head as soft, warm hands grabbed his. Marcus hadn't realized that he was clawing his face open with his fingernails. He finally remembered that he wasn't alone this time and the thought comforted him. His new aide and Stephen had been in his quarters when this headache had started to torment him.

Susan looked questionly at Stephen. She knew his line of thought would be similar to hers. This was no headache. This was a telepathic attack and the attacker had to be a very strong telepath, targeting Marcus while he wasn't in line of sight. " Where’s Lyta Alexander? Perhaps she can help him."

" Lyta is off station. She will return in a couple of days."

" Damn, now what?" Susan was still forcing his hands down his sides. The way he had clawed at his face had left wounds, which had started to bleed. Susan knew that Marcus must have learned how to block a telepath during ranger training. He probably wasn't trying a block because he didn't realize that it was a telepathic attack. His mind was too messed up by all the things he had gone through recently.

There was only one way out and she hated the idea. In the ten years she had been Ranger One the Minbari teachers had trained her telepathic abilities. She was hardly more than a P5, but perhaps she could surprise the attacker long enough to break the hold on Marcus' mind. " Stephen, I’m a telepath, weak, but I’m going to try to break the attack.. I have no idea if it will work…"

Susan centered herself and focused the way her Minbari teacher Ashok had taught her. She reached out and felt Marcus' mind being crushed by an ongoing mental trashing. The voice was still distorted. She used all her mental energy to lash out at the attacker. She sensed the attacker’s confusion and was overwhelmed when she discovered the mental power of this mind. She had never experienced anything like it. She wondered if even Lyta would be capable of standing up against this. But she felt something else also. This mind was dark, evil and swirling in shadows that she was revolted by its dark power.

" Whatever you did worked!"

She registered Stephen’s words and disconnected herself from this dark thing. As she opened her eyes she realized that Marcus was shaking badly. They hauled him to his feet and carried him to the sofa. He was still trembling when they sat him down. Marcus was near a nervous breakdown and Franklin gave him an injection to calm him down. The medication would make it easier for the ranger to regain control over his mind. " Marcus?" Stephen checked his pulse. It was racing like mad.

" I failed. I could have saved her. I should have never allowed you to stop me..." Marcus' voice was a whisper, still aching from the mental pain he had gone through moments earlier.

" Do you know what happened?" Susan was fighting her instincts, seeing him this shaken. She wanted to comfort him so badly.

" It is her... she hates me... she can't forgive me that I failed so miserably."

" You think its Ivanova, don't you?" Stephen voiced his suspicion. The look Marcus gave him, made him shiver.

" Of course it's Ivanova...”

Susan shook her head. She had read this Commander Ivanova’s personal file. There hadn't been any differences between her and her alter ego. It was out of the question that her alter ego would do something like this. The thought struck her that somebody wanted Marcus to believe that it was Ivanova, to make him feel even more miserable. But who? It was definitely a very strong telepath.

" Marcus, it can't be Susan. She is in cryo and there’s no brain activity. " Stephen tried to convince his friend that he was wrong, but Marcus wasn't buying it.

Susan decided that the time had come to use a more direct approach. " You do realize that this was no headache? This was a telepathic attack. Someone is targeting you. Someone wants to hurt you!"

Marcus looked into those dark, almost black oriental eyes and noticed her concern. Strange, she had only been here one day and she was already acting like she cared. He had tried fighting it, but he definitely liked her cocky attitude. She didn't seem to have any fear at all. " I ... what are you saying?" Marcus shook his head to free his mind of the memory of the pain. When he rubbed his eyes blood appeared on his fingers.

" I will take care of it." Stephen tended to the small injuries while Susan continued her explanation.

" Somewhere out there is a teep who forced a way into your mind. I’m a teep and managed to surprise the hell out of that telepath. But I’m too weak to protect you in the future. This telepath will not be taken by surprise again."

Stephen had finished stopping the bleeding and pondered everything. " Why would anyone want to make you suffer, Marcus?"

" I don't know... you are a telepath?"

" Yes, P5 at most... very weak."

" But you saved me."

" This time. Will you allow me to contact Lyta Alexander to ask her to return to Babylon 5? Perhaps she is strong enough to stop this telepath."

" I don't think I can stop you from doing so..."

It was the first time that Marcus smiled at her and her heart jumped in delight. His face was beautiful when he smiled. She was going to blush and quickly got up from the couch. " I will contact her and…" Susan startled as she realized that she had been in the middle of preparing dinner and hurried back to the small kitchen, leaving Marcus and Stephen by themselves.

" I think she will guard you with her life."

Marcus watched her disappear into the kitchen.

" I was thinking the same thing... Stephen, what is going on?"

Stephen was mentally torn apart. He agreed with her that Marcus wasn't up to dealing with these death threats, but hated keeping his friend in the dark. " I don't know, Marcus." Stephen got up. He wanted to return to Medlab to have another look at that poison they had tried to use on Marcus. Perhaps there were some more tests he could run to find out where it came from. “I’ll return in some hours to see how you are doing. Try to rest, Marcus."

" Thanks... for everything, Stephen."

Stephen nodded and went to the kitchen. Susan was so busy she didn't notice him enter. " Want me to tell Garibaldi about what happened?"

" Yes... we need to speed this up. There’s no way of telling what kind of attack will follow after this. I think I pissed the teep off."

Stephen said good-bye and headed to Garibaldi's office.

 

Susan waited patiently till Marcus got up from the couch. He made his way to the small kitchen table and sat down. His carried groggy expression. " You should try to eat something, sir."

Marcus grinned. Susan quickly turned her full attention to the plate. Her heart was going soft on her.

" Stop calling me that... Marcus will do... I’m not sure though if I can call you Su... san yet... It brings back memories."

" I understand. Please take all the time you need... Marcus." She savoured speaking his name aloud and concentrated on eating the food.

Marcus was poking around in his food. He wasn't really hungry, but she had made this meal for him, so he should try some at least. It did taste good. " You’re a great cook."

" Back on Minbar I sometimes cooked human dishes, this Flarn really gets to you... never liked it to be honest!" Susan smiled when she remembered Shaleen’s objections when she had a small kitchen unit installed in her private corners. Shaleen had offered to prepare some human dishes for her, but they never turned out the way she liked them. She had even learned how to prepare scones. Perhaps she could surprise him someday by making those. Then she remembered that her stay here was only temporary. She would probably never get the chance to spoil him like that.

Marcus put his fork down and stared at his hands. He realized that he was starting to feel an attraction towards her and he hated himself for feeling like that. Susan had been the one he had been waiting for. How could he betray her by falling in love with someone he had known for one day? He had to honor her memory and was resolved to bury these emotions very deep inside his heart. It would be hard working with her while he had these feelings.

Susan wondered why he was suddenly this quiet, but decided not to ask him. Apparently, he was lost in thought. She started to carry the plates to the sink when the Babcom announced an incoming message. It woke Marcus from his trance.

"I will get that." Marcus pulled the brown cloak tighter, he was cold. Watching the Babscreen the face of a ranger appeared. He knew this man, they had been friends ever since their training. " Dave, what is wrong?"

Dave was worried and reporting in from Down Below. People running around and they were obviously very distressed.

" I think you should come down and see for yourself, sir. Two of our contacts died under mysterious circumstances."

" I’m on my way, Dave. Stay there."

Susan heard that last remark. She wasn't keen on Marcus leaving his quarters, but realized that she couldn't keep him locked up without giving him a valid reason. " Mind if I join you? Sounds like ranger business."

Marcus wanted to say no, but had the creepy suspicion that she would be sneaking after him if he declined her request.

" Come on then." Marcus collected his pike, straightened out his cloak and watched her grab her coat, ready to leave. He sighed and hoped that there would be no more of these telepathic attacks as Stephen and Su… san had called it. He still had a hard time calling her that name. Every time he thought about it he was reminded of Susan Ivanova.

 

Susan followed Marcus to Down Below where the call had come from and remained alert. Their enemy could be lurking in the shadows of the corridors.

Marcus had pulled up his hood again. It made him feel less vulnerable. He could study people without them realizing what he was doing. He wasn't used yet to being Ranger One and knew for sure that he never would be comfortable with that. Delenn had simply overruled his objections when she had pronounced him her successor. He remembered the first time he had met Jeffrey Sinclair wearing the same long cloak. He briefly wondered if Sinclair had known that he would follow in his footsteps one day. Dave approached him and he told himself to concentrate. Ever since he had become Ranger One a certain amount of rangers had gathered here on Babylon 5. Wherever Ranger One was, they were. " Dave?"

The red haired ranger nodded briefly, mischief shining in his eyes and Marcus saw it. They had always shared that absurd sense of humor and it was good to have his old friend back at his side.

" We found them 20 minutes ago. Garibaldi is also sniffing around."

" Let him. It is his job." Marcus was serious once more. He looked at the two corpses which were placed on stretchers to be taken to Medlab were Stephen could establish the cause of death. He had known them, had worked with Stacy and Robert for one year now. The two lurkers had been lovers and valuable sources of information. What scared Marcus most was the expression of sheer horror on their faces. Something had terrified them. " Any clues?" Marcus searched the small room where the two bodies had been found.

" Nothing at all. That is what worries me." Dave headed towards Marcus who looked at him with a faint smile on his pale face.

" A friend once told me that if I was to worry about everything that didn't seem right, I was going to worry the rest of my natural life. You know what? He was right. I’m worried. Why these two? They always stayed out of trouble. You and me are the only two people who knew that they were working for the rangers. It doesn't make any sense."

" We will have to wait for the autopsy results."

Susan felt Dave looking at her while speaking to Marcus. Susan returned the gaze, openly and unafraid. The ranger was tall, of slender built and he had sparkling brown eyes. But the most extraordinary thing about him was his hair. It was red, with natural curls in it and it reached far down below his shoulders. Susan hated to fight her instincts, which were telling her to trust him. No, he could be the enemy. She could trust no one right now. Marcus swayed on his feet and she wanted to steady him, but Dave was faster.

" You should get some rest, Marcus."

" I know... believe me, I know." Marcus regained his balance and Dave let go of him. " I think, I better head home now." Marcus started to leave the room when Susan sneaked up to Dave.

" Could you take him home? I want to talk to Garibaldi for a moment."

Dave didn't hide his amazed look, but nodded in the end. She was Marcus' aide and he would follow her orders when necessary. " I will stay with him till you return."

After she was sure that Dave had caught up with Marcus, she walked over to Garibaldi who was ordering his men to secure everything.

He noticed her presence immediately. " I got the letter."

" And? Any clues?"

Garibaldi took her arm and led her to a corner where they could talk freely. " After I got the letter I started going through the recordings of the security cams covering Marcus' corridor."

" I should have thought about that! We should be able to see who put it there."

" I thought the same thing."

" So?"

" I just wanted to access that file when I was called down here."

" Can we go back and watch the recording now? I have this feeling that we are running out of time. I fear for Marcus' safety."

Garibaldi nodded and as they made their way to his office Susan told him of the telepathic attack Marcus had suffered. She also informed him that Lyta had agreed to return to Babylon 5 as quickly as possible.

" We should check the files of all rogue and registered teeps as well."

Susan heard the fear in his voice and knew that he was thinking about Bester. He, of all people had to know what a telepath could do to Marcus. After they arrived at his office Garibaldi accessed the file they wanted to see at once. Susan stared at the screen, not believing what she saw. There were two people walking towards Marcus' door. The man bent down to place something on the floor. It was a letter.

" It seems we have found our suspects." Garibaldi’s voice was ominous.

" Yes, they are lying in Medlab right now, in the morgue. I know now why they had die." Susan smacked her fist into the chair. At last they had discovered a clue and then it proved to be a dead end. She knew now that their enemy had no problems with killing defenceless people. She shivered. Where was Marcus? Could that red haired Ranger be trusted? Was the enemy perhaps much closer than she expected?

She had to get back to his quarters immediately and see with her own eyes that he was safe... she had the strangest feeling....

 

RECKONING DAY PART 7 OF ?

 

" Marcus, your quarters are that way."

Marcus had almost forgotten his damned escort. He had to get rid off Dave. Why did she have to ask him to accompany him? He discovered that he couldn't yet refer to her as Susan. It still hurt too badly. " There’s something I have to do first. I don't need a baby sitter. You better find out who murdered our contacts. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself!" Marcus heard the edge to his own voice. Dave stopped him, pulling back the hood. // Damn, trust Dave not to be impressed by me being Ranger One!//

" Marcus, I have known you for four years now. If you still can't trust me I have to accept that and I will be on my way, but please reconsider."

Marcus growled. He hated it when people insinuated that he was a bad friend. " All right. You can come with me, but you wait outside. This is... personal."

Dave nodded. Marcus realized that no matter what his decision had been, Dave would never have let him go on his own. He resumed his walk and tried to prepare himself mentally for the confrontation he had been putting off for the last 11 days. He paused before opening the door to the storage room and then shuffled slowly inside. He wasn't sure that he was doing the right thing.

" The cryo storage facility? Marcus?"

" You wait outside... " Marcus closed the door and apprehensively approached the tanks. He was afraid to look for her name. He halted when he found it. Susan Ivanova, Commander, Earthforce. He moved his hand to touch the cold exterior, almost afraid that a telepathic force would strike him down for doing so. Knowing that her lifeless body was frozen in time tormented him. He remembered the time he had last seen her. She had been so close to death. He knew that she would never return to him. Only the healing device could have cured her. But Stephen had destroyed it as he had threatened to do. Marcus winced when he thought of her beautiful face.

“ Susan? I know that it took me bloody long to come here, but I’m a bit afraid at the moment. I’m so sorry that I let you down... I’m hearing this voice and I think it is you... I don't know for certain. I’m afraid. For the first time in three years I’m afraid that I’m going to lose my sanity. You have every right to be mad at me but I tried everything I could...."

Fatigue was taking over and he lowered himself onto the cold floor. These last days had been hell. He had not yet been here, too afraid to actually see her cryo unit.

" I miss you, Susan. The Captain and Delenn have gone to Earth, Lennier accompanying them. Yes, Stephen is still here. I was rather mad at him for stopping me, but he only did what he thought was right because he cares. We talked things over and I hope we’re friends again. I have so few... There’s one more thing I should tell you, Susan. My new aide's name is Susan too. Quite uncomfortable. I don't want to hurt the girl’s feelings, but it’s hard to call her that. It brings back flashes of the time we spent together, even though there isn't that much to remember. You would like her She reminds me of you. Sometimes I think that she is Ranger One and I’m her aide. She always seems to get her way."

Marcus knew how silly this was; talking to a cryo unit, inside a frozen body which couldn't hear or respond. Tears filled his eyes and he knew the medication Stephen had given him to calm down was losing its effect. He should try to get back to his quarters, but his body was exhausted and his mind needed to rest. He dosed off without realizing it.

Dave, who was waiting on the other side of the door was getting anxious. Marcus was his superior and he had to obey his orders, but this was getting ridiculous. He had been waiting for Marcus' return for an hour now. He walked over to a com station and contacted doctor Franklin.

" He is... where?"

Dave heard the good doctor curse for a moment." I am on my way."

Dave felt relieved. Franklin could open the door. Marcus had locked it from the inside. He only had to wait for a few seconds. Stephen was still swearing when he opened the locked door. He ran over to Marcus who was sitting with his back against the wall beneath Susan’s cryo unit. He wanted to take Marcus to Medlab, but he knew what kind of effect those surroundings would have on his friend. The other option was to take him back to his own quarters. " His exhaustion got the better of him. His body knows he needs to rest. We should take him back to his quarters." Stephen watched as the ranger who had called him, lifted Marcus in his arms. Together they walked to his quarters. They didn't expect the worried faces of Garibaldi and Susan Michaels when they arrived.

" Thank God, I was so worried!" Susan couldn't hide her distress as Dave laid his precious load on to the bed. Susan pulled the comforter over his body and beckoned them to leave the bedroom." I should never have let him out of sight. I should have known that he would do something stupid like that!" Susan was pacing the room. Dave had left and Stephen had returned to Medlab. Only Garibaldi had stayed behind.

" Nothing happened, he will be all right. Don't be that hard on yourself. Marcus is used to doing what he wants to do. He has always been a pain in the ass." Garibaldi was accessing the arrival files from Marcus' quarters.

" Do you want to go through them together?"

Susan nodded. As long as Marcus was acting this way she couldn't leave him alone. They sat down after she had made some coffee.

" Real coffee? The last time I had real coffee was a year ago!" Garibaldi was enjoying his hot drink.

" Marcus has his ways of getting the stuff, though I wonder if he drinks it."

" I have only seen him drink tea, but Susan Ivanova loved real coffee."

Susan turned her face away from him, looking at the files. She knew that he had acquired the coffee for her. She remembered how he had surprised her once, bringing her some real coffee. Going through all the names of new arrivals frustrated her and she didn't even know what she was looking for!

" Hey, look at this... This transport came in from Deneb 4 12 days ago. I wouldn't have noticed it before but... look!"

Susan watched over his shoulder. She had no idea why Garibaldi was this excited.

" Look at the numbers, damnit!"

" There were 30 passengers on board and after docking they checked... 29 identity cards?"

" Yes, one passenger wasn't checked."

" Got it! Can we track the passenger down?"  
" I don't know. I will try. Give me some time."

Garibaldi went to work and Susan decided that she wanted to see if Marcus was doing all right. She walked over to the bedroom and opened the door. The lights were on and Marcus was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. " Marcus?"

Susan didn't know what to say to him. He seemed lost

" I am fine... "

She caught the tremor in his voice due to all emotions he was dealing with and took some steps towards the bed, but kept an acceptable distance. " You could have told me where you were going. We were worried sick about you!"

Marcus heard the truly wounded tone in her voice. He wondered why she was so concerned about him. Was it only because he was her superior? " I’m sorry, but I couldn't tell you. It was something I had to do. I avoided that place for so long. I had to see for my own eyes that she was in there. "

" You have to go on, Marcus. You can't live in the past. I don't think your Commander would want you to languish away like this." Susan held her breath, as an aide she had stepped over a boundary here. She was actually lecturing Ranger One and saw a wave of anger come over him. Why?

Marcus battled his anger into submission. " Please leave me now..." He turned his back to her and feigned to be asleep.

Susan sighed and had no other choice as to leave him.

 

Garibaldi had rushed back to his office because he couldn't access the files he needed from Marcus' quarters and Susan settled down on the couch, reading the rest of the reports on this shuttle. She was surprised when the door chime chirped. " Who are you?" Susan got up and walked towards the door.

" Lyta. You wanted to see me?"

Susan opened the door and Lyta Alexander entered. The telepath looked just the way Susan remembered her from her 'previous' life and Susan felt uneasy all of a sudden. If Lyta scanned her, she would know who she was in reality. Well, her own abilities would tell her if Lyta was trying to scan her. " Yes, thank you for coming this quickly."

" No problem, so why do you need my help?"

" I’m Susan Michaels, Marcus' new aide." Susan introduced herself and extended her hand out of habit, but saw too late that Lyta wasn't wearing gloves. It was too late.

Lyta was startled to feel Susan’s mind. There was something very strange about this new aide. She saw images that this Susan Michaels could never have seen. They were standing on the bridge of the White Star when the Shadows were calling them down, Lyta saw herself, Delenn and Susan Ivanova. Then there was this image of Garibaldi and Sheridan looking very amused at a plate of bacon and eggs. These were memories that belonged to Susan Ivanova. Lyta gripped the stranger’s hand. Ivanova asked Marcus why he had joined the rangers... Realization hit her unexpectedly. " You aren’t who you say you are. You can fool the others but not me. You’re Ivanova."

Susan was scared that she was going to vanish that instant. Lorien had told her that she wasn't to let people know who she was. But Lyta had figured it out. " Yes, I am... It’s a long and unbelievable story."

Lyta released her hand and a tear made its way down the telepath’s cheek. " So, there is life after death? I saw it… I saw Lorien... I know why you are here... I can't believe it, but I am so glad that you are given this second chance... Susan."

Susan was getting nervous. She trusted Lyta, but her identity had to stay a secret.

" I won't tell. I promise."

" Lets sit down." Susan felt Lyta stare at her. She needed Lyta's help and perhaps it was even an advantage that Lyta knew who she was. She started to tell what had happened to Marcus. Lyta's face showed her confusion.

" A telepathic attack and the telepath wasn't in line of sight?"

" Yes." Susan waited while Lyta was thinking it over.

" It can be done, but the telepath would have to be very strong. I can do it, but it would drain me and you said you two heard the words also?"

" Yes."

Lyta leaned back and considered everything she had heard. An action like Susan had described would take a telepath equal in power to hers. She didn't know anyone like that." Do you think Marcus will allow me to scan him?"

" I don't know. I think we will have to ask him." Susan hated the request she had to make to Marcus. Luckily he was already awake and was reading a book.

" Marcus, Lyta has arrived. She wants to help us, but in order to do so she needs to scan you. She could see the impact the words had on him. She wouldn't feel comfortable as well with the idea of being scanned. Marcus put the book down and looked thoughtfully at the wall, avoiding her eyes.

" Is that the only way? I hate the idea of being scanned. "

" Marcus, there’s the danger of another telepathic attack. Perhaps even stronger this time. These attacks could kill you in the end. Lyta is the only one who can help you."

" I don’t know... what do you think?"

Susan was astonished that he asked her opinion. But she could imagine his doubts and fear. " I think you should do it, you can't go on like this."

Marcus nodded, very reluctantly. He still loathed the idea, but he also realized that he didn't want to die this way. Even though there wasn't that much to live for. He owed it to the rangers to do his work as Ranger One the best he could and he couldn't do that when he was afraid. He got to his feet and walked to the living area where Lyta was waiting for him. " Lyta, it is nice to see you again." Marcus remained at a distance though and knew Lyta felt his fear.

" Marcus. I will do this as gently as possible. Don't be afraid and don't fight me. That would only cause you pain."

" I know."

Lyta beckoned Marcus to sit down on the couch.

He watched her come closer and gazed at Susan for some support.

The only thing Susan could do was smile at him, reassuringly. Lyta placed her hands on his temples and Marcus felt her mind crawling into his and he acted on instinct. He tried to block her.

//Marcus, relax, let me in. I don't want to hurt you.//

Marcus calmed down and tried to open his mind to her, but his head ached from pain. He felt Lyta moving around in his memories. She stopped when she discovered that first attack, the night Susan Ivanova had died. She knew one thing for sure at that moment. It wasn't Susan Ivanova who was tormenting him.

//It isn't her?//

//No Marcus. It isn't Susan.// Lyta told him to remain quiet as she continued her search through his confused mind. She felt something watching them. It was dark, evil and revolting. // What’s that?// She moved in closer but as she tried to capture it, the entity moved away, till at last it was gone. Marcus was getting weaker as the scan drained him. The enemy had retreated; it knew it had been discovered. Lyta withdrew from Marcus' mind to allow him to rest from this deep scan.

Susan watched Marcus as his face contorted from pain. She wanted to reach out for him but couldn't disturb Lyta. Susan jumped to her feet as tears of blood flowed down Marcus' face. Susan hoped desperately that Lyta knew what she was doing. This had been her idea and Susan would never forgive herself if Marcus was harmed in the process. It seemed to take hours when in fact it were mere minutes before Lyta let go of him.

Marcus fell to one side and was breathing heavily when Lyta got up. Lyta sat down and was lost in thought, trying to make sense of what she had seen in his mind.

Susan moved closer to Marcus and helped him sitting up again. He was shaking all over his body." It is done, Marcus... you are safe." Susan grabbed a napkin from the table and cleaned his face. The blood stained the napkin. Thankfully Marcus quickly regained his senses. " Did you find anything?"

Lyta's eyes had turned to her original color and she rubbed her brow. She wasn't sure what she had felt. It was impossible. They had gone for some time now. How could one have stayed behind? She had to be sure before she could confide in them. Marcus was in grave danger if her guess proved correct. " Yes, but I’m not sure what... I need to rest now. I will let you know when I find a clue." Lyta got up and left his quarters without saying another word.

" She looked confused," Marcus whispered.

Susan realized that she was still holding Marcus in her arms who was trying to get in control of his body and mind.

The scan had hurt a lot and he had hoped that Lyta would be able to help them. Instead, Lyta had run off, leaving him to his pain. He suddenly felt her warm body next to his and wanted to caress her hair. He froze when he became aware how deep his feelings for this woman had become and jerked away from her, staggering on his feet. He made his way to the kitchen where he splashed some water onto his face, telling himself that he needed to fight these feelings for her.

Susan was taken aback when she felt him break the embrace. He stumbled on his feet trying to get away from her. Susan wondered what she had done wrong. He was fleeing into the kitchen. Perhaps she had been imprudent by holding him for a moment. His moans reached her ears and she wanted to follow him when he returned from the kitchen. His gaze was clouded and anxious.

" Marcus? Did I do something wrong?"

Marcus shook his head. This was his entire fault and he had to be the one in control of his feelings. " No, but I’m tired and I need some sleep." Marcus turned to head to his bedroom when the Babcom system announced an incoming, time delayed message and tried to gather the little composure he had left. " Play message."

The system jumped on line as Marcus and Susan walked over to the console. Two words appeared on the screen and Susan felt sick when she realized that this was another one of the threats. She wanted to pull him away but, she was too late. He was already reading the words;

knock knock

" Who is there?"

Susan heard the pain in his words.

DEATH

The word was shining in red and was flanked by rotating skulls.

Marcus' face got whiter every second. Damn, this was her fault. She should have kept him away from the com system!

" What is this?"

Marcus looked her in the eyes and Susan knew that she had to tell him. She feared his reaction. " Somebody has been sending you death threats for days."

 

RECKONING DAY PART 8 OF ?

 

Marcus felt betrayed. Why hadn’t she told him? Was he some kind of idiot they had to baby? " Who else knows?" Marcus was struggling not to let his temper get the better of him, but it was hard. He had trusted her.

" Lennier told me and I informed Garibaldi, Stephen and Lyta." Susan saw his frustration and hoped that he would understand why they had done it. Because they cared for him.

" I want to see all these threats."

Susan watched as he pulled up his walls. She had hurt him and could only hope that the damage could still be repaired. “Garibaldi has them."

" Then tell him to get them over here."

Marcus tone was cold and Susan went over to the Babcom to contact Garibaldi.

Marcus sat down at the kitchen table. Now that he was out of her sight he covered his head with his hands. Why had she kept quiet? He had to know these things. His life was on the line here. After Ivanova had died he had thought that there was no more room in his heart for more hurt, but this proved just how wrong he had been.

As she approached he composed himself once more. He couldn't allow himself to show any more weakness. Her voice sounded sad when she spoke.

" Garibaldi promised me to bring them to you. They will be delivered in a few minutes."

" Good. I don't need your services during the next hours. You can go to your room and rest."

Susan cringed at his tone. Had she lost him a second time? " Marcus, please!"

" Go to your room, leave me ALONE!" Marcus couldn't help yelling that last part. His hurt was turning into anger swiftly. His temper might get the better of him and he didn't want to do or say anything to her that he would later regret.

Susan bowed her head and headed to her own bedroom. She dropped onto the bed. Her eyes were drowning in tears and she couldn't hold them back anymore. She had screwed up everything. She should have trusted him in the first place! Saddened, she cried herself to sleep.

 

Marcus was going through the data crystals and the letter. Garibaldi had even given him a report on the poison used to try killing him. Marcus leaned back and stared at the items. These were the missing links he had been looking for. He was sure that somebody was trying to kill him. All he had to do was find out who was behind this. It obviously was a telepath. Marcus searched his mind. Did he piss off a telepath in the past? He couldn't come up with a name and his frustrations grew. He had to get out of here, he was going crazy in here. At least in Down Below he could start an investigation.

He did feel guilty though about the way he had acted towards Susan Michaels. She had done what she’d felt had been the right thing at the moment. He had seen her hurt expression. It made him feel bad about himself. He had been harsh towards her because he liked her

He got up, looking at the items for the last time. First he was going to apologize to Susan Michaels for his behavior. He wanted to knock on her door when he discovered that she had left it open and pushed the door open. His guilty feelings doubled as he realized that she had cried herself to sleep. There still were wet spots on her face. //I’m a stupid idiot. I hurt everyone who cares for me!//

Marcus sneaked up to her bed. His attraction to her was fighting his way back, but he pushed it down. He would never fall in love again. He had had his chance and he had not told her of his feelings. His ice queen. Gently, he caressed her hair one time. It felt like silk between his fingers and then pulled away from her. She wasn't Ivanova, it would be dishonest to her if he allowed her to think that she had a chance with him. He made his way out of her room, trying to slow down his breathing and closed the door. Silently, he left his quarters.

Susan acted like asleep when Marcus entered her room. She was afraid to let him know that she was awake. She was stunned when she felt his gentle touch, stroking her hair. It felt so good. The next thing she heard though was him retreating to his own quarters. Susan opened her eyes and thought about what had happened. Did he feel an attraction towards her? It was possible. She was still Susan even if she was in a different body. Her mind was the same. She had been so occupied by her own thoughts that she didn't hear him leaving his quarters.

 

Marcus had been talking to his contacts as he suddenly realized that Garibaldi had despatched search parties. He wasn't sure if they were looking for him, but he didn't want to take the chance. He disappeared among the Lurkers he knew so well. This far he had only managed to uncover one fact. The Lurkers had seen some strange things in an abandoned corridor in Grey 16. Marcus was desperate enough to grab that straw. He slid his fighting pike into his hand. It gave him a sense of security. He had thought for some time now about his next step. He knew one thing for sure; he wasn't going to endanger anyone while tracking down his attacker. He didn't want Garibaldi, Stephen, Lyta or Susan Michaels to be hurt in the process. This was something he had to do on his own.

//That’s good. Come to me… I’ve been waiting for you for so long!//

Marcus couldn't help dropping to his knees when the voice intruded his mind. The voice wasn't that distorted anymore. It sounded female, but that could be a trick. He pushed himself up from the floor to continue his walk to Grey 16. He knew now that his information had been correct. =It= was down there and he got into the core tube. As he reached his destination he looked baffled at the disarray. All kind of equipment was lying around and the lights were down. He stepped into the darkness and used all mantra's he knew to fight his fear. Who hated him that much? He tensed as suddenly someone crept up to him from behind. He turned to face it, but when he recognized the once beautiful face, he lost all control and fainted.

 

The door chime woke Susan and she forced herself to get up from the bed. She remembered his warm touch and wondered if he had been able to forgive her yet. Walking into the central area she didn't see Marcus so she figured that he was in his bedroom. " Stephen? I didn't expect you yet."

Stephen Franklin smiled at her.

" I ran some additional tests on the poison. It is called Araki and it is origin is Deneb 4. "

Susan sighed. Every thing pointed to Deneb 4, but that was merely a trading colony. Had Marcus ever been there? " Garibaldi and I already figured that the telepath came from Deneb 4, but thanks anyway. You are here to see Marcus? I think he’s in his bedroom."

Stephen nodded. Susan wanted to accompany him but the Babcom announced another incoming message. Susan left him alone and accepted the call. She was amazed to see Delenn’ face who looked concerned.

" Ranger Michaels, what is going on on Babylon 5? I am getting the strangest reports."

" Ambassador, it is difficult to explain…" Susan wanted to give it a try when Stephen’s cry alarmed her.

" I’m sorry, Ambassador, but I have to go." Susan closed the connection and ran to the bedroom. She looked at Stephen. They both gazed at the empty bed. Marcus was gone. " Damn it. He did it again. Now I am getting mad!"

Susan established a link to Garibaldi, informing him that Marcus was missing. Garibaldi promised to send out search team immediately. " I am not going to wait here." Susan noticed that Stephen followed her outside. She felt like beating up Marcus the moment she found him.

 

Something was going on. Ever since she had scanned Marcus Lyta had kept an eye on him and she had sensed the terror that had seized him. A rush of pain and agony had immediately followed the feeling and then his mind had gone black. Marcus had lost consciousness. Lyta tuned in to the place where he had been when she had felt him collapse. Grey 16, that was it. She needed to contact Susan. Something told her that they had to move fast if they wanted to save Marcus.

 

Susan wasn't surprised when Lyta came running towards them. She froze when she realized that Lyta's face bore a concerned expression.

" It is Marcus... This telepath is with him and… he’s unconsciousness."

" Do you know where we can find him?"

Lyta nodded. " He is in Grey 16."

Lyta, Stephen and Susan started to run as fast as they could. In their rush they forgot to contact security and inform them of their destination.

 

Marcus woke in complete darkness. He tried to sit up, but realized that his hands and feet were tied. He was helpless and vulnerable. Then the memories returned, crushing the little courage he had left. " You can't be alive. You died. You can't be here... you..."

" You left me there to die, Marcus. You could have saved me. You cared for me, at least you told me so, or was it all a lie?"

Her voice was sweet and seductive, but he had seen her true face moments ago, He wasn't fooled. Marcus had no idea where she was as her voice echoed through the abandoned corridor. She had chosen her hiding place well. Nobody ever came down here, not even the Lurkers. He had to answer her, had to reason with her, perhaps then he could get through to her. " I did care for you... You don't know how often I have wished that I could have changed what happened to you that night. I saw the explosion. How could you have survived?"

" I didn't."

Her words sounded final. Marcus was desperate. She was right, she hadn't survived. She wasn't the woman he had known all his life. " Are you going to kill me?"

" In the end, yes. But first I want you to suffer all the pain I had to go through. You have no idea what they did to me, what they took away from me. I was given a choice; to serve them or to die. The people around me were dying because they refused to co-operate with them. I took my chance. I was inside of one of their ships for three years. My personality stopped to exist, they took it all away. The only thing I could think about was how you deserted me for that brother of yours. You could have prevented it, if you had been with me, Marcus. In the end, I learned to love their deadly brutality and when they realized who I was they released me to get to you. To kill you, but I never got the chance. Now that they are gone, I’m the last one left. I consider it my duty to do their bidding."

" No, I could never have stopped them. They were much too strong. Surely you of all people must know that. I didn't know that you were taken prisoner, if I had known I would have tried to free you..."

" You have changed Marcus. You have become much stronger than I remember, but four years is a long time. I had to wait till you were vulnerable and when your love died, I grabbed my chance. You’re a fool, Marcus. It seems like all the women you like die a horrible death. I was jealous of this Commander Ivanova, I have to admit that. Had you told her you loved her I would have killed her."

Marcus sensed her creep closer. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness by now, but he wished they hadn't and he closed his. He couldn't look at what she had become. A long, sharp nail scratched his cheek open.

" I’m glad you came here out of your free will, Marcus. This should have been settled a long time ago. You should have died four years ago. Life has been misery for both of us. But I have learned to love that misery. I’m going to kill you slowly. I will tear your mind apart as they did to me. It will take hours, Marcus... that's a promise. I keep them, you break them!"

Marcus was sick from loathing, but she was in control. There was one thing though he was thankful for, that his friends weren't in danger anymore. She giggled and he remembered that the Minbari had taught him how to face terror and ...how to die. He screamed in agony when she made her way into his mind and memories.

Susan heard his screams and increased her speed. She didn't notice that Lyta stopped running to look around. Susan was the first to see Marcus, lying on the floor, blood on his face and tied up. His eyes were clenched shut and she wondered what was wrong. Then she felt the cold darkness again and this time she saw it too.

It was a female form, consisting of a black shining material. Her face looked human and brown hair curled around her face. Her eyes were black and Susan made out the spidery arms attached to the body. The creature reminded her of the Shadows she had fought. The creature uttered a high-pitched wail when it saw Susan and Stephen. It looked at them and then yelled. " You will die as well! No one who has ever seen me, lives!"

Susan wished she had her PPG, but she had no weapon at all.

" And I will start with the Vorlon bitch!"

Marcus managed to get to his knees and yelled. He was hardly able to think straight while all these dark things were crawling through his mind, tearing him into pieces... there was only pain. " No, Hasina, don't hurt them. It’s me you want... let them go!"

 

RECKONING DAY PART 9 OF ?

 

There was no more time to waste and Susan acted at once. Anger rolled off this Shadow creature, coming towards her. It hit her like a pounding, physical blow and she steadied herself. She had to be in control. Marcus was in danger, great danger. She didn't doubt that this creature would carry out its threats. She had to get him into safety. That was the only thing that mattered right now. She briefly wondered where Lyta had gone when she felt an invasion in her mind. It was Lyta. She sighed; immensely relieved.

//Get Marcus and Stephen out of here. This is a fight between her and me. The last Shadow and Vorlon battle.//

Susan answered Lyta that she’d understood the message and looked at Stephen who was trying to regain control of his senses. He had never encountered something like this and it took him some moments to realize the danger they were in. He usually stayed clear of any hazardous situations. " Stephen, run, get Garibaldi down here. We need security. I will take care of Marcus."

She pushed him into the corridor and watched Franklin move away quickly.

What was Lyta up to ? Why was she hiding? The Shadow knew of her presence... Susan didn't get any time to end that thought because Lyta appeared behind Marcus who was still fighting an invisible foe. She had to grab every opportunity she would get to drag Marcus out of here.

" Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" Lyta challenged Hasina and she reacted immediately.

" Vorlons, foul creatures..."

There was a black wave of highly controlled and focused mental energy, actually visible, swirling towards Lyta, emanating from the creature that had once been Hasina. Susan realized that Marcus was in the line of that telepathic attack. She had to move him out of it. The situation had quickly gotten worse.

" Shadows.... abominations!" Lyta answered in a cold tone and her eyes went black.

Susan forced herself to move. She didn't want to get caught in between these two telepaths. She crawled over the floor towards Marcus to pull him into the corridor, but he was still fighting the vile things in his mind and he didn't realize that somebody was trying to help him escape. Susan saw too late that by standing up, she was pulled into the telepathic beams with which the telepaths were fighting each other. Sheer force ran her through and everything started to fade away. The body she was in was dying because of the power which it had been exposed to.// Marcus!// Her body was shattered into pieces and she desperately tried to reach out for Marcus. She was amazed to see that she still owed hands and that she could actually grab Marcus. She looked at some broken glass and was shocked when she discovered that she had an open wound in her chest. The beams had hit her full strength and the wound was fatal. Susan pulled him away with all power left in her. Suddenly the creature that had once been Hasina, turned her attention towards them.

" Oh, no, he is not getting away."

Lyta was still blasting the Shadow with every bit of telepathic power she owed, but she couldn't prevent that Hasina drew a PPG out of nowhere.

Susan realized Hasina's intentions; she wanted to shoot Marcus and she couldn't allow that to happen. Pushing herself up from the floor Susan covered Marcus' body with her own. The impact threw her into the wall. She ended up, lying crumbled on the floor.

" You signed your own death warrant!" Lyta's voice sounded bereft of all emotion when she intensified her attack on Hasina.

-Marcus was only slowly returning to sanity. Hasina needed all her concentration to battle Lyta and had to release him from her hold. Marcus screamed as Susan Michaels took the blast that had been intended for him. " NO!" Marcus tried to loosen the ropes with which he had been tied up, but it didn't help and stared at his useless hands, which had been tied in front of him. He knew instantly that she was mortally wounded. The only thing he could do for her was to take her in his arms, soothing her last moments. He blamed himself for her death. Another girl he had begun to love was dying. " Please, you have to hold on. Stephen will be here in a few minutes." Marcus looked into her hazy brown, almost black eyes. Suddenly tears ran down his cheek.

Amazed, she watched him. With her last strength she reached to cup his face in her hands. " It isn't your fault, Marcus. Promise me, that you won't blame yourself for this....promise me, before I die!" Susan was lost, his big green eyes were filled with tears and unspoken sorrow. She realized that he couldn't make that promise to her. He had already decided that he was guilty of causing her death.

" Marcus... =you= didn't kill me..." Her strength ebbed away. She only had seconds left. " Marcus... I did it because I care... for..."

Marcus watched her try finishing the remark, but death claimed her before she had a chance to end the sentence. Oblivious to the battle raging behind him between Lyta and Hasina he felt paralysed and rocked her dead body.

Lyta sensed how Susan’s mind stopped to exist and it enraged her even more. This... Hasina had killed one of her friends and Lyta centered all her power to lash out in one violent attack. She was winning and didn’t notice the arrival of a security team, lead by Michael Garibaldi.

Garibaldi registered the situation immediately and the soldier in him acted. He saw Marcus, tied up, gently holding his aide's dead body and all Michael could think about was about avenging her. He aimed his PPG and the dark creature. He didn't know what it was, he didn't need to know. All he wanted was to kill it. He fired his PPG the moment Lyta moved in for the kill.

Hasina screamed, but there was nothing remotely human in that wail. Her black shape started to drift apart, till at last it gradually faded away. Lyta intercepted Hasina's last thoughts as she was dying.

//I loved you, Marcus. I hated you.//

Lyta and Garibaldi stared at the PPG. It had fallen to the floor the moment Hasina started to disintegrate. They had won this fight, but the price had been high; Susan Michaels’ life.

Stephen, who had moved to kneel next to Marcus, managed to untie his friend and was sad when he looked at the corpse Marcus was hanging onto. There was nothing left he could do for Susan Michaels, but he could try to help his friend. " Marcus, let go of her, she’s dead. I want you to come to Medlab with me."

Marcus heard the words, but he didn't listen, not registering the meaning of those words. The only thing he could think about was that two women he cared for had died tonight. Hasina, yes, he had loved her, but the woman he loved had died four years ago during that Shadow attack on the mining colony. He shivered when he remembered what she had become. Was she right? Could he have saved her?

//No, I couldn't. Hasina and William couldn't be saved.//

" Marcus, can you hear me?" Concerned, Stephen eyes his friend. Marcus was just looking at the wall with an empty gaze in his eyes.

//And now she had to die as well!// Marcus hugged the dead body even closer to him. He vowed that he would never fall in love again. It appeared that all women he cared for died in the end. She had been so young, this Susan. He had been too afraid to say her name out loud, reminding him of another one who had died. Marcus understood that he had to deal with all this pain, but he didn't know how, he was exhausted. He had barely recovered from Ivanova's death and now there were two more deaths to mourn.

Stephen decided that he had shown enough patience and that Marcus had to be in Medlab.

Lyta shrugged off Garibaldi's help. " I will be fine, just let me catch my breath. You better help Marcus."

Stephen looked up at Garibaldi, seeing the rage in his friend’s eyes. " Help me get him to his feet. He needs to be in Medlab, where I can look after him."

Garibaldi gently loosened the hold Marcus had on her dead body. " I will see to it that she is properly taken care off, Marcus... I liked her too."

Garibaldi's hands forced him to let go of the corpse. Stephen pulled him to his feet and Marcus obeyed, as Stephen told him to come along. He couldn't bring himself to look at her for one last time. Her face, motionless in death. would always stay in his mind.

Stephen hoped that Marcus would remain calm once he was inside Medlab. Marcus had vowed that he would never enter it again, as he had lost his love in there. But Stephen noticed how absent-minded Marcus was when he laid his friend down on one of the exam beds. " Marcus, how are you feeling? Do you need anything?"

Marcus didn't respond. He just curled himself into a tight ball and closed his eyes. Stephen was desperate. How could he get through to his friend after what had happened the last 13 days?

Marcus waited till Stephen had left him. He needed to be alone to think about the women he had lost, Hasina, Ivanova, Susan Michaels. He had to draw the line somewhere. Was the universe so cruel to deny him any love at all? He didn't want to live like this anymore and uncovered his pike. It could snap back his neck if he opened it, aiming it at his chin. Death would be instant, no prolonged suffering... He had to hide the pike and his intentions as Stephen entered the room once more. Marcus didn't want Stephen to know of his suicide plan.

" Marcus, I want you to take these. They will help you calm down a bit." Stephen handed him a glass of water and some pills.

Marcus recognized them. Sleeping pills. He wasn't going to swallow them. After taking hold of the pills he drank the water, but didn’t swallow the pills. Stephen’s gaze started to get agitated.

" I want you to swallow them, Marcus, otherwise I will inject the medication."

//Bugger, Stephen isn't that easy to fool anymore!// Marcus was now facing a dilemma.

" Just swallow them and I will leave you alone."

Marcus longed for that loneliness and decided that he had lost. He swallowed the pills, against his will, though.

" That is a good little ranger." Stephen smiled warmly and briefly patted his friend’s hand. " Just give it time, Marcus. Time heals all wounds, even those as deep as yours."

Marcus wanted to scream at Stephen. Franklin had no idea what he was going through, but he refrained from doing so. It would only make Stephen more alert to watch his condition. Marcus closed his eyes and Stephen left the room. Alone at last.

The sleeping pills were already getting to him. If he wanted to stop his agony, he had to do it now before sleep captured him. He pulled out his pike and aimed it at his chin. It would break his neck… this was it...

 

Susan spiralled through a beautiful tunnel of light. It was nothing like she had experienced before. It was warm, all kinds of bright lights surrounded her.

//Commander. I told you that we would meet again.//

//Lorien? Did I succeed? Is he going to live?//

Lorien’s voice was sad when he answered her. //He plans on killing himself.//

//Please. It can't have all been in vain... I can't let him down. I... love him so much...//

//And therefore he will be saved... I will see you again, Commander, in about 40 years.//

Susan was still trying to figure out what had happened when the marvellous warmth vanished quickly. It was replaced by something dark and freezing cold... she couldn't see, couldn't breathe...and tried to scream for help.

 

" Doctor Franklin? I am confused!"

Stephen looked up from his mug of caff and was baffled to see Lennier standing in the doorway.

" Lennier? I thought you had gone to Earth."  
" I did, but Delenn asked me to travel back to Babylon 5. She is upset by the reports she is getting. I just heard what happened to Miss Michaels. Mister Garibaldi told me. I’m so sorry."

" We all are, Lennier. But you could help me out here... its Marcus. He’s shaken so badly by everything that happened that I’m afraid he has given up."

" Given up?" Lennier didn't understand.

" I think that he doesn't want to live anymore."

" I will go and speak to him at once, doctor." Lennier bowed and disappeared.

Stephen was about to take another sip of that dreadful caff when Lillian stormed into his office, apparently very upset over something.

" Franklin, we have a situation here. The readings on one of the cryo tubes are up high... something went terribly wrong."

" Whose tube?" Stephen had this ominous suspicion.

" Commander Ivanova's."

 

RECKONING DAY PART 10 OF ?

 

Susan struggled to breathe, but something prevented her from doing so. Suddenly everything around her changed its shape and color. The darkness started to light up and she thought she heard voices, yelling at each other in panic. Where was she, what was happening?

The cold had disappeared and she realized that somebody was packing her into several thermo blankets. She finally managed to distinguish the voices and relaxed as she heard Stephen shouting orders at his team. She was in the best possible hands.

" Get her put of there, quickly. Her body temperature has to rise...now! Move it!"

Susan began to understand what was going on. She was coming out of cryo. Hell, how did she get in there in the first place? She was going to get Lorien for all the stunts he had pulled on her so far. She had liked the guy the moment she first saw him, but he was fast becoming another pain in the butt, her butt. She tried to move, to look at her friend’s face, but was startled to discover that she couldn't move without experiencing the pain of tense and stiff muscles and joints. If she was going to survive this one, she would make Stephen suffer for putting her in cryo! " Stephen...is that you?" Shocked she noticed her cracked voice. She had no strength to talk loudly or to intimidate him. She was anxious to find out how he was going to handle the new Commander Ivanova. This could actually be fun! She loved tormenting Stephen Franklin. Something she had in common with Marcus. //Where is that ranger?//

" And she is talking already!"

There was a tender tone to his voice. She had never realized that she had so many friends. Susan focused her eyes and tried to smile at him. She was moved to see that there was a tear in Stephen’s eyes. She had hardly ever smiled at him and was set on changing that.

" Susan, you’ve got to rest and keep it calm. Your body has gone through a severe trauma and quite frankly, I have no idea what cured you. But you seem just fine."

" That's great... so when can I.... get back on duty?... the station you know..." She was delighted to see his stunned expression and was determined to render all her past mistakes. She had no intention of going back to the cold hearted Commander she had been. She had changed too much. " I am only... kidding, Stephen." Susan was so tired, but couldn't go back to sleep now. There was something she had to do first. Lorien had sounded alarmed and she needed to know that Marcus was unharmed." Where’s Marcus? I want to talk... to him."

Stephen was amazed to hear this particular request. Marcus had been at her side when she had been injured, but he had never thought that Susan’s first question would be if she could see Marcus. Stephen suddenly realized that this could be the reason Marcus needed to go on living. He couldn't explain Susan’s miraculous recovery, but it filled him with hope." I will let you see him, if you promise to go to sleep after that. Is that a deal?"

" Yes... Stephen... don't nag like that."

Stephen chuckled, seemed like Commander Ivanova was back to rule Babylon 5.

 

Marcus was looking into the butt end of his pike and gathered all his courage. Then he extended the Minbari fighting pike. His concentration had been so complete, that he didn't see Lennier entering the room. Marcus was expecting to be hit by the pike, when suddenly two hands took hold of it and changed its angle. The pike brushed his temple and he lost consciousness the moment he got hit.

Lennier had never before in his life cursed, but now he couldn't suppress it." Damn humans, I will never understand them!" He took the pike from Marcus' hands and slid it into one of his pockets. Marcus was bleeding from his right temple, but Lennier knew enough about human anatomy to realize that Marcus was going to live. He pushed the emergency button and tried to talk to Marcus, to make him react. " Marcus, talk to me. Why did you do such a dangerous thing? You did it on purpose....Come on, Marcus!" Lennier had grabbed him by his tunic and was now carefully shaking him. Lennier blamed himself for letting Marcus down. He should have stayed with him, knowing how bad Marcus had been. He sighed when Marcus opened his eyes at last.

" Lennier? I never realized that there would be any Minbari in the afterlife. Lennier, are you dead too?"

" Oh, my God!" It was Stephen, who had responded to the call. He had heard the last remarks and realized that his fear had come true. Marcus had tried to put an end to his life. He was afraid to think what could have happened if Lennier hadn't shown up. He should never have let the ranger out of sight!

Lennier was still shaking Marcus, who had closed his eyes again. Stephen remembered that he had given Marcus quite a heavy dose of sleeping pills and stopped Lennier to ease Marcus back on to the bed. He would assess the damage the pike had done while Marcus was asleep. " I gave him sleeping pills some minutes ago. He will be out for a few hours. Lennier, let me treat his wounds."

Lennier knew that Stephen wanted to be alone with his patient and left the room.

Stephen sat down next to Marcus' bed. It had been his intention to tell Marcus that Ivanova was alive and then confront him with her. Now he was wondering if that was the right thing to do. He couldn't predict how Marcus was going to react to that news. Well, he had some hours to come up with a solution. First he was going to have a look at that wound, which was still bleeding. Stephen scanned the fracture and was relieved when it proved to be not that alarming. But Marcus was going to have a hell of a headache when he was going to wake up. He stopped the bleeding and bandaged the wound. Briefly he considered putting Marcus in restrains, but decided against it. The thing Marcus needed most at this point was tender loving care and he was determined to see to it that everyone was going to help the ranger survive this. He only hoped Susan Ivanova would co-operate.

 

Stephen was beyond amazement when he studied the results from the tests he had administered to Susan. She seemed to be in good health, a bit tired perhaps, but that was to be expected. After all, she had been in cryo for 13 days.

" Stephen, you promised me that I could see Marcus!" Susan didn't like the mesmerised look on Stephen’s face. Something was bothering him.

" Yes... there has been a change of plans I’m afraid... Marcus isn't doing that well." Stephen had no idea what he could tell Ivanova. He was still asking himself why she was that concerned for the guy. Normally she would have been glad that he wasn't around.

" Stephen, tell me..." Susan was looking at him in her patented way. She had to know.

" Let's just say that he has been through a lot since you... died. He became Ranger One and his new aide, a girl , gave her life to save him. He has trouble copying with all that."

Susan could tell that Stephen was holding something back. " Tell me everything, Stephen. I can handle the truth."

Stephen hardly recognized the Commander Ivanova he had known. She had earned her nickname, the ice queen, but it seemed that the ice had melted. Stephen wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing, but she would give him hell later, should she find out that he had lied to her. " Marcus... tried to hurt himself... Lennier got there just in time to prevent Marcus from taking his life, I guess."

Susan had known it would it be something like that. Lorien had tried to tell her.

" He is asleep now and I have to figure out where to go from here. He definitely needs supervision."

Susan nodded. " When he wakes up call me, Stephen. I want to be there when he opens his eyes."

" That does it, Susan! What happened to you? You never kept it a secret that he annoyed and irritated you and now you act like he’s the most important person in your life!"

" He =is= the most important person in my life. This may be difficult for you to understand, Stephen but during those last days, he sat with me the entire time. "

//Watch it, Susan. You can't tell Stephen that you heard Marcus confess his love for you when he was dying. That never happened in this dimension. Marcus never told you that he loved you. But he did... try... What was it that he said to me when he woke me on the White Star? You will never know...He was trying to tell me that he loved me in his own, shy way!//

" Dying can change people, Stephen. I was so intend on running away from my own feelings that I forget to care... to give him that chance he begged for the entire time."

Stephen remembered the time that Marcus had told him that he was interested in Ivanova. What was it that Marcus had said? I sense in her key, as yet unturned. It seemed the key had found its keyhole and had started to turn. " You want to see him? I suppose I can wheel you in there. But then you are off to sleep also!"

" Stephen, you’re wasting time. Lets get moving!"

 

Susan was happy that Stephen had given her some minutes alone with Marcus. She looked at his bandaged head. The stupid fool had tried to kill himself using that idiot pike of his. She had always said that it would be the cause of his death one day. He had turned onto his left side. He was sleeping peacefully and Susan discovered that she was scared to actually touch him. She was still trying to figure out what Lorien had told her; see you in forty years. Did that mean that she had gotten that second chance she had prayed for during those twenty long and lonely years?

She touched his cheek gently, caressing his face. She had longed for so long to do that. A tear welled up from her eye and she wiped it quickly away. She had never been this happy before and refused to think of what could have happened if Lennier hadn't prevented him from carrying out his death wish. She laid her head on his chest, assuring herself that he was alive and breathing. She loved him so much that it hurt.

" Susan? You have to rest now."

" I know. When will he come around?"

" Three, maybe four hours."

" If you don't wake me... I will make your life a living hell, Stephen!"

Stephen wanted to chuckle but stopped when he saw her serious expression. He wondered how much Ivanova had changed. She really loved Marcus. He had never thought the ranger had a serious chance with her.

Susan looked one more time at his calm face as Stephen pushed her wheelchair out of the room.

 

Four hours later;

" Susan, wake up."

Susan growled when the voice disturbed her sleep. She had been dreaming of Marcus. It had been a rather erotic dream and she wanted to continue that fantasy.

" Susan!"

" Shut up!" Susan realized that the voice wouldn't back down. Lazily, she opened her eyes and shook her head when she recognized Garibaldi.

" Stephen sent me in to wake you. He’s afraid of you."

" Michael.... why did you have to wake me up? I’m still recovering and I need my sleep!" Susan couldn't hide the smile on her face. It was good to be back in her body and amongst the people she loved.

" Yeah right, you have slept during the last 13 days. You should be rested now. We still need a Captain around here, you know."

Susan sighed. She didn't want to hear anything about work.

" I got a call from Sheridan some minutes ago. He is flying in. He sounded quite excited when he heard that you were back... from the dead."

" Well, there are advantages to being the right hand of God." Susan snickered when the irony became visible to her. She had acted as a tool of this entity to save Marcus. Susan suddenly remembered why she had asked Stephen to wake her. Marcus. She pushed down the blanket and uncovered a med gown. " Garibaldi, get me an uniform. I can't go running around like this!"

Garibaldi gave her a wicked smile.

She pointed her finger at him and was actually enjoying this. " You better listen, Chief once I’m Captain around here..." Her voice drifted off into a threatening tone.

Garibaldi's smile froze and he hurried to the closet to pull out a new uniform. Her old one had been destroyed in that battle against the Earthforce cruisers.

" Now get out and pray it fits!" Susan watched him run out of the room. The prospect of talking to Marcus made her feel excited. She realized that she had to take it slow. He was probably broken from the two deaths he had witnessed. She would tell him about her part in all this, but only when the time was right. She had no trouble getting dressed and didn't even feel tired anymore. It was time to go and see Marcus Cole.

 

 

RECKONING DAY PART 11 OF ?

 

" Where do YOU think you are going? You promised to stay in bed, Susan, and why are you wearing a uniform? You’re off duty."

" I’ fine, Stephen, I just need to talk to Marcus."

Stephen chuckled, he hadn't enjoyed himself like this for a long time. He was eager to see Marcus' expression when the ranger would realise that Susan was back to make his life miserable. Ivanova was very impatient, but the earnest of the situation returned to him. " Susan, I haven’t yet had the chance to tell Marcus about your miraculous recovery. I suggest you let me go in first. I can't tell what will happen if he sees you walking into his room like that. He thinks you’re dead, in cryo. Oh, boy, how am I going to explain this one to him? I don't understand myself!"

Susan considered his request and she knew it was the sensible thing to do. But the desire to take Marcus into her arms was overwhelming. " Just hurry, Stephen." He disappeared into Medlab 2 and she felt thankful for having a friend like him. Susan was amazed when a warm hand touched her shoulder.  
" Commander? Is that really you?"

Susan recognized the voice immediately. Lennier had become precious to her, when she had been fighting the loneliness she had felt while being Ranger One. " Lennier. It’s good to see you!" Susan took his hand and the baffled Minbari allowed her to shake it. The look of astonishment on his face indicated that he was trying hard to compose himself.

" How?"

" That’s a very long story, Lennier and I will tell it to you one day, but at the moment, I’m just really happy to be back! "

Lennier had a hard time believing his eyes and ears. How was he going to explain this to Delenn? He still had to report to her about Hasina and Susan Michaels and now this. He sighed. "Marcus will be happy to see you in such good health, Commander."

" I hope so. Stephen is telling him that I’m alive right now. I heard that he wasn't doing that well?"  
"I know... his mind could not deal with everything that happened lately, which is quite understandable. He has trouble handling his emotions. He does not know how to express them. I have seen him struggle for some time now. "

" I understand that it was you who prevented him from killing himself." Susan looked at him truly thankfully. She wanted to embrace the Minbari, but knew that he disliked being touched. If it hadn't been for Lennier, Marcus would be dead now.

" The honor was mine. I think that when he was trying to take his own life, he was not thinking straight."

Susan was pacing by now, what was taking that doctor so long? She was going to give him five more minutes and then she would move in. She couldn't take this anymore. She had to be sure that he was all right! " Lennier, could you do me a favor? "

Lennier remained quiet. He waited for her to continue.

" I… need a White Star... I... have got plans for this evening. I don't need a crew."

" I will see to it that White Star 1 is at your disposal, Commander." Lennier bowed and left. He was going to get a clean uniform for Marcus and he still had to tell Delenn that Ivanova had returned.

 

Marcus had woken up some minutes prior to Stephen’s visit. He had been thinking about stealing out of Medlab, when Stephen had opened the door. There was a chuckle in Stephen’s eyes. Marcus looked straight at the wall. He hoped that Stephen was going to release him because these walls were driving him crazy.

" So, how is my favorite patient doing today?"

Marcus didn't want to answer him, the doctor was much too chipper. He felt the opposite; sad and lonely. He was beyond pretending to be fine when he was depressed. He no longer had the strength to act like everyone expected him to.

" Marcus?" Stephen sat down and looked at the haggard expression on Marcus' face. Marcus had been pushing himself to carry on after Susan’s death and it had finally made him crumble. Mourning someone’s death demanded time and Marcus had denied himself that time.

" I am fine... when will I be released?"

" You’re so eager to leave, Marcus. Don't you feel at home here?"

" Home? Medlab? Your home perhaps, definitely not mine."

Stephen forced himself to be serious. He had to prepare Marcus for Susan’s visit. He thought Susan capable of dashing in here without warning. He had no time to waste. Marcus had to know that Susan Ivanova was alive. "Marcus... while you were sleeping in here, something happened to Ivanova’s cryo unit."

Marcus' heart missed a beat. Was she gone for all eternity? Had her cryo tube broken down?

Stephen saw the anxiety on his friend’s face and hated the suffering Marcus had to endure.

" Well?" Marcus was too afraid to ask. It felt like his whole life was hanging in the balance. Susan was the only woman he had ever wanted. She was the other half of his lonely soul.

" I don't know how to explain it to you, Marcus. Her body... started to breathe on her own again and we detected normal brain activity. It was impossible. I had to get her out of cryo and I... hell... she has no more injuries.....she slept some hours and she had made a full recovery."

Marcus tried to talk but failed. People didn't come back from the dead. Certainly not people HE cared about. " Stephen... are you telling me the truth?" Marcus' mind refused to register the information. Why was Stephen this cruel to him? Everyone he loved, died.

" It’s the truth, Marcus. She asked to see you..." Stephen realized that Marcus was shaking his head in denial. He knew that Marcus couldn't believe that luck would be on his side for once. Stephen realized also that he had to leave that to Susan. There was nothing more he could do to convince Marcus. He was going to get her now.

 

Susan leaped towards the door when Stephen beckoned her to come inside. This was the moment she had been dreading and hoping for. It had taken her almost 25 years to get where she was now.

Marcus stared at the opened door. He still hadn't dismissed the thought that Stephen was pulling his leg. The truth was that he was too afraid to hope. Then his heart seemed to stop beating. A woman in an Army of Light uniform walked into the room. Her long brown hair was shining and her once cold blue eyes were alive and sparkling. A warm smile brightened her beautiful face. Marcus felt terrified. This was impossible! This couldn't be happening. This was a nightmare and he would realize that when he woke up in a few seconds, bathing in his own sweat, to find Susan Ivanova gone once more..

Susan saw the hurt expression in his eyes. Marcus had experienced so much pain during these last two weeks that she couldn't blame him for staring at her in bewilderment. Susan covered the distance to his bed and her smile was gentle and kind as she looked him in the eye. " Hello, Marcus."

Marcus felt paralysed. His brain was refusing to work properly and his mouth had gone dry. His head was spinning and he felt dizzy. She was so close that he could sense her body heat. //She’s alive... she can't be alive... she was dying... she’s in cryo...this can't be Susan!//

His confusion showed on his face and Susan knew that she had to give him time to adjust to the new situation. He needed proof that she was in this room with him so she reached out and took his hand into hers.

Marcus was startled as her hand touched his. When the realization hit him that she was alive he couldn't stop the emotions that were strangling him and started to tremble. " Is it really you, Susan?"

" It's me, Marcus. I’m back and in one piece as it seems." Susan softly stroked his cold hand and waited for him to deal with the feelings that were shaken his mind and body.

Marcus was mesmerised by the fact that she was holding his hand. He caught sight of Stephen who was sneaking out of the room. Susan had seen the doctor leave too and chuckled. At least, Stephen was kind enough to give her some time alone with Marcus. " How... did you get out of... cryo? The last time... I saw you, you were... dying…" Marcus had problems formulating his questions. There was a different look in her eyes. She seemed warm and caring. Two qualities, she had never shown before.

" I don't know how I was cured." Susan decided that it would be best to tell him later what had happened. Marcus seemed overly emotional at the moment and she didn't want him to lose all sense of reality. He seemed fragile to her, lost and struggling to accept that she was back. She could hardly imagine how he felt.

Marcus noted that she was still caressing his hand. The gesture seemed so out of place. Commander Ivanova never showed emotions. Her walls were too high and were made out of solid steel. He was lost for words.

Susan took the initiative. She had to do this carefully and slowly. There was no need to rush things. She could do this in small steps and she had to consider his feelings first. " The last thing I remember is you sitting next to my bed for what seemed for days... I remember that you were crying." Susan hit a nerve as she said those words. He had lost all color to his face and he had turned a ghostly shade of white. //Careful, Susan. He just witnessed the death of two women he cared for and now the third one has come back from the dead!//

Marcus wanted to hide some place where she could never track him down. He had wanted to tell her that he loved her for so long... But now he was too afraid to do so. All women he had cared for ended up dead. He had to protect her... he didn't want her to die again.

" Marcus? I was talking to you, you know!"

He was spacing out on her and it worried her. Marcus was desperately attempting to gain some control over his raging feelings and she suddenly realized that Marcus didn't handle his emotions that well. Lennier had been right about that.

" Sorry, what did you say?"

" That you were crying."

"Oh yes, that... I hate losing friends."

//Friends? Damn it, I know you love me, Cole!// " That’s it?"

" Yes." Marcus bit his lip. He was trying hard not to fall to pieces in front of her. He felt so vulnerable! He’d never dared to dream that Susan could be cured someday, certainly not that soon.

Susan decided to go along with this little game he was playing. After all, she was holding all the trumps. He was losing control and she didn't want that to happen so she decided to change subjects." When is Stephen going to release you from his zealous care?"

" I don't know." Marcus had become very quiet now that he had finally accepted that she was alive. It was like Stephen had heard his name because he chose that moment to walk the room. A radiant smile played on his face.

Susan forced herself to let go of Marcus' face and looked at Franklin.

" I heard that. I still don't get it. Why do the two of you always want to get out of here?"

" We don't like your food plans."

Susan laughed and Marcus joined in, very hesitantly, very insecure.

" I will make you guys a deal. Susan, you get that last check up and then you’re going to take it slow for a couple of days. I want you to rest, understood? When I’m sure that you are up to it you can harass C&C. Marcus... I want you to stay a bit longer..."

Marcus resigned now Stephen’s mind was set.

" How long?" Susan needed to know. She wanted to carry out a plan this evening. Stephen seemed to think it over.

" I think that all tests will be finished at 1900 hours."

" Great, Marcus, would you like to join me for dinner tonight?"

Marcus nearly choked. Was Susan asking him out on a date? He had wanted to ask her so many times and now she was asking him? She had changed during those 13 days in cryo...

" I think that would be a great idea. I will have him ready to go at 1900 hours."

Stephen answered and Marcus shot him a surprised glance.

" Well, that is set then. Nice of you to accept the invitation, Marcus."

Bugger, he hadn't agreed to anything at all. Stephen had made the choice for him. He could hardly decline now. Susan gently squeezed his hand to encourage him. Was that a wink she was giving him? Marcus watched her dash out of the room and when he was sure that she had gone, he felt his brow. " Stephen, do I have a fever? Am I hallucinating?"

" No, Marcus, seems you have a date tonight." Stephen patted him on the shoulder and left the room with a funny smile on his face.

 

When Susan arrived at her quarters she was baffled to find the access code changed. Had they already moved her stuff out of her old quarters? Her next stop was going to be Garibaldi.

" Enter"

" Michael, why can't I get into my quarters?" She was standing in his quarters and stared at the big picture of Daffy Duck, hanging above his bed. She wanted to say something about that when she decided that it wasn't worth the verbal fight. Garibaldi looked a bit uncomfortable.

"Actually, yes. I had no time yet to correct that. Give me an hour and you’ll have your old quarters back."

" Great, what am I going to do in that time?"

" You could contact Sheridan. He has been trying to get a hold of you for the last hours. "

Susan nodded and looked him straight in the eye. " One hour, Garibaldi."

 

Susan was on her way to C&C when she felt harassed by all the looks she was getting. This was the second time that somebody had returned from death. She remembered how people had treated Sheridan when he’d returned from Z'ha'dum. She hoped that she had enough patience to handle this. The strange stares continued as she entered C&C. Lt. Corwin seemed barely able to keep from fainting and a lot of her officers came up to her to welcome her back. Somehow, she didn't manage to give them her usual icy stare. She walked into the Captain’s office and contacted Earth. It only took a few minutes to patch her through to John Sheridan, the new President. Sheridan wasn't alone, Delenn was sitting opposite him at the large desk.

" Hello John, Delenn."

Both looked up, startled." Susan? Is that really you?"

" Yeah, I’m back." Susan was delighted to see their shocked expressions. John and Delenn meant quite a bit to her and she was glad to talk to them again.

" Susan, what is going on back home? I keep hearing the strangest stories!" John was smiling now and Delenn had taken his hand in hers.

" That’s too long a story to tell now. But everything seems to be turning out right."

" How is Marcus?" Delenn couldn't hide her concern, it showed clearly on her face. She still felt responsible for 'her ' ranger.

" He’s Medlab right now. Stephen is keeping an eye on him."

" Your... death... shook him really bad." Delenn was careful not to say too much.

" I know, Delenn. I already talked to him."

" You did?"

There was a genuinely surprised tone in Delenn’s voice and Susan felt like she had to explain. " You know, being in that... cryo tube changed me. I realized that I’ve been running away from my feelings for years...You know what? I refuse to run any longer. I decided to give Marcus his chance."

Delenn’s smile was warm and understanding. John however was completely lost. What were those two women talking about?

" What chance? "

" John, I will explain everything to you later. But isn't there something you need to tell Susan?"

John was still looking utterly confused when he addressed Susan again. " Yes... I just wanted you to know that you’re Captain now. Babylon 5 is yours... just keep it in one piece?'

" Thanks John. I appreciate it. " Susan smiled one more time at her friends and then terminated the connection. There was a lot to do.

 

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

RECKONING DAY PART 12 OF ?

 

Marcus had changed into the new uniform Lennier had brought him. He was glad that Lennier was back as he had missed his friend. He was still wondering why Susan had invited him to dinner. She had been acting irrationally since she had come out of cryo. But asking himself that question made it hard for him to stay calm. There were other things that had to be taken care of first.

" Lennier, do you have any idea what happened to Susan Michaels’ remains?” He swallowed hard. He hadn’t yet dealt with what had happened in Down Below. He had concealed it in a dark corner of his mind where he had also buried the memories of the death of his brother William. He knew that the dead demanded remembrance and once in a while, they sneaked out of that dark spot and he had these dark moods for days.

" That was peculiar. An old man appeared, saying that she was his daughter. We checked him out of course and he was speaking the truth. He took her body with him. Apparently she wished to be buried on Earth and he wanted to carry out that last wish."

Marcus hadn't expected something like that. //I didn't even had a chance to say good-bye to you or thank you for saving my life, even though I’m not worth the sacrifice you made.//

" Marcus?" Lennier took the long, brown cloak and waited for Marcus to put it on.

Marcus looked at it, hesitantly. It was the first time in these two horrifying weeks that he realized that he WAS Ranger One. Marcus resigned and slipped into the cloak, earning Lennier’s smile.

" The Commander will be pleased."

Marcus managed a weak smile. He didn't think that the Commander would care much for the way he looked. Stephen had just told him that Susan had been promoted to Captain and he thought that this dinner was meant to discuss things concerning the station. Susan, now Captain and he being Ranger One would have to work together in future. Marcus considered moving to Minbar to keep their contact to a minimum. He was still haunted by the idea that if he confessed his love for her that she would die. They all died. " Lennier, can I have my pike back? I promise that I will be good." Marcus tried some humor, but failed completely. Lennier looked at him in a disapproving way.

" Come on, Lennier. There’re a hundred ways I can kill myself without using my pike."

Lennier knew that Marcus had a valid point. The rangers were trained extremely well. Even for suicide missions in which they were supposed to commit suicide before they were taken prisoner. He refrained from answering and simply handed his friend his pike.

Marcus felt relieved when he slid the pike into its place once more. He felt much safer now.

" Marcus, your test results came back all right. Take it slow or I WILL admit you to Medlab again, do you understand me? When I feel that something is wrong..."

" Point taken, Stephen." Marcus exchanged a glance with the doctor. He knew that it was only compassion that urged Stephen to be this concerned. The conversation stopped when Susan entered the room unannounced. Marcus couldn't believe what he was seeing. He expected her to show up in her uniform, not dressed like this.

" Good evening, gentlemen. Marcus, are you ready to go?"

Marcus wasn't able to answer that question. He knew it was insulting to stare at her, but he couldn't help himself. Susan looked absolutely stunning. She wore a blue, tight fitting, low-necked dress made of soft velvet, which complimented her eyes. When she turned around to show off, his breath caught, her back was bare and her soft skin showed down to her waist. She was wearing her hair down, golden earrings sparkled in the light. Marcus tried to hide the fact that he had to steady himself by taking hold of the bed. He was sure he was going to die of a heart attack right there.

Stephen was the first to recover. He had never seen Susan dress up like this. Apparently, she wanted to impress Marcus. Judging by the baffled look on his face, she had succeeded in doing just that. Stephen didn't know what Marcus had expected dinner to be like, but he had the distinct impression that Susan wanted Marcus for dessert.

Marcus wanted to tell her how marvellous she looked, but he wasn't quite sure if he could actually talk.

Susan watched his reaction, amused and pleased. It had been her intention to enchant him and by the way he looked she had succeeded. She smiled now that Marcus was speechless and walked over to him. " Marcus?"

" Sorry, Susan. Yes, I’m ready to go... by the way, where are we going?" Marcus had the idea that he was being lured into a trap. He had never before seen Susan act like this and it worried him. He hardly recognized the Commander he knew.

" We’re going to Salvatore's restaurant. I made a reservation."

Marcus was starting to get afraid that he wouldn't make it to through the evening. Salvatore? It was the most expensive restaurant around. Not a place where he fancied she wanted to have dinner with him. Going public like this would start a lot of rumours and he didn't want to compromise her. " Are you sure? We will certainly run into a lot of officers... Are you certain that you want to be seen with me, eating dinner... in that stunning outfit?" Susan moved closer to him. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet. She was wearing perfume and he definitely smelled roses. What was this all about?

" Don't put yourself down like that, Marcus... and I don't care what people say... lets go, I’m hungry. Stephen, don't expect him to come home tonight"

Stephen chuckled. " You do realize you are stealing my husband away from me?"

Susan remembered the time they had gone to Mars as newlyweds. She decided to let the remark go unnoticed. She focused her attention on Marcus instead. It seemed like he was capable of speech again.

" Perhaps we need a divorce"

Susan smiled when he grinned at Franklin who acted hurt. She grabbed his arm and dragged him with her. He tensed when she touched him.

 

The restaurant was already crowded as they arrived. Susan’s eyes sought out the waiter who should be expecting them. She had paid him extra to make sure they wouldn't have to wait. Marcus barely registered what was happening. He was uncharacteristicly quiet. She missed his babbling, but then realized that he was feeling damned insecure.

" Captain, I’ve been expecting you. Mister Cole? Please follow me."

The waiter led them to a nice table in the back of the room. On their way there, they bumped into Garibaldi who was having dinner with a beautiful redhead. Susan smiled and ignored the looks he was giving her. Well, there would be certain advantages to being Captain, definitely outranking him for example.

Marcus, on the other hand, had much more difficulty ignoring all the eyes that were staring at them. He couldn't blame them. Susan did look breath taking. He sat down after he had seated her and was amazed to see that their glasses had already been filled with red wine. He knew nothing about good wine and would certainly have embarrassed himself by having to choose one. Susan offered him his glass and he had to accept it. He didn't normally drink wine. He was pleasantly surprised when he tasted it. It appeared that Salvatore had managed to get hold of really excellent wine.

He realized though that he should be careful about drinking it. He didn't normally drink alcohol and he was afraid of the effect it might have on him. They didn't have to wait long. Dinner was served almost immediately. It seemed that Susan had more influence than he expected. Well, perhaps people were just afraid of Ivanova's wrath. It was a dish he had never eaten before and he was quite puzzled.

Susan was pleased when she saw his astonished look.

" What is this?"

"You have never eaten oysters before?" Susan relished, seeing his baffled expression.

" Oysters? They must cost a fortune."

" I’m buying, so don't worry about that." Susan raised her glass and beckoned him to do the same thing.

Marcus was losing that last little piece of composure he had left. Oysters? Why oysters? He had never had them before and they looked like slippery little bastards. He emptied the glass in one go, quite abruptly. The alcohol made its way to his brain and he was starting to feel warm and relaxed.

Susan noticed the now mellow look in his eyes and knew that the wine was getting to him. Good, that had been the plan all along. He needed to loosen up a bit. She took one of the oysters and parted her lips to suck the content of the shell into her mouth.

Marcus thought he was going to explode, as he watched her doing that. The soft, moist oyster slid into her delicate mouth. She absentmindedly licked the shell before putting it down again. " Your turn, ranger!”

Marcus wanted to curse; she had ordered this on purpose. He just hoped that the damn thing would slip right in to his mouth. They looked absolutely slimy and he knew they would be slithery. Marcus took a shell into his right hand and braced himself. He closed his eyes and decided to get it over with.

" You know that oysters are considered to be an aphrodisiac?"

Marcus choked. The oyster slithered down his chin and landed in his lap.

Susan chuckled cheerfully. She had been hoping for that reaction. " Marcus? That oyster was meant to be eaten."

Marcus was trying to cover up the mess he had made. The alcohol was making him slow to react to her verbal reprimand. Bugger, she was doing this on purpose to him, but why? She was trying hard not to laugh , but the laugh was already evident in her eyes.

" You SHOULD try one, Marcus."

Marcus had hardly removed the first oyster from his lap, as she handed him the second one. He realized that she was teasing him, but that didn't make it easier for him." They are so slippery!" Marcus just had to say something to his defence. This evening was turning out to be a nightmare. He should definitely stop drinking wine... No, she was filling his glass again. He started to pray to Valen for some help. He couldn't decline the glass when she offered it to him.

" I am waiting."

// What for?// Marcus suddenly realized that she was waiting for him to eat the oyster. Better get it over with. " Any last remarks before I eat it?" Marcus had no desire to be embarrassed again. She smiled at him and he just slid the damn little critter down his throat. Bugger, it tasted foul. " Are you satisfied now?"

" Yes."

Marcus pushed the dish away from him and suddenly felt tired of the games they were playing.

" I was just teasing you, Marcus."

He forgave her the moment she smiled at him. He had never seen a smile like that one before. She looked like an angel to him. There was a sparkle in her eyes and she leaned towards him.

" I think you had enough wine. We better get going."

" Going? " Marcus knew he was trapped and wouldn't be able to escape now.

 

" You sit down and relax!" Susan pushed him into the seat. She longed to pilot the shuttle. It had been too long since she last had the opportunity to do so.

Marcus did as he was told. He was in no condition to pilot the shuttle anyway. He had too much to drink. He had tried to make her reveal their destination to him, but she had not given in. He was fighting a lost battle. Commander, no, Captain Ivanova was in charge and the only thing he could do was to go along with everything she wanted to. He decided to ask her one more time.

" Susan, where are we going?" He remembered Corwin’s strangled voice when she had appeared on screen to ask permission to take the shuttle out. Marcus had realized some time ago that Corwin had a crush on her and he wondered if Susan felt the same way about the officer.

" Wait and see, ranger boy!"

" Why do you always call me that? I... bloody hate it!" Marcus immediately covered his mouth with his right hand. He had to be cautious. The alcohol was making him say things he normally never would have. He expected an angry stare from her, but she answered him with another stunning smile. He was getting a lot of them lately and he wondered why.

" I like annoying you. "

Susan docked the shuttle and Marcus recognized his surroundings. They were on a White Star. This wasn't making sense anymore. " Why are we here?"

Susan beckoned him to follow her. He was longed to touch her soft skin as she turned her back on him. She was taking him to the bridge, why?

" I need to talk to you and it seems to me that we had our most private conversations while being onboard a White Star."

She sat down and pointed to the command chair." I believe that is your chair."

Marcus reluctantly sat down. His inner alarms were kicking in to action. She was in control and she bloody well knew it.

" Ask you a question?" Susan gave him a wicked smile while playing with a lock of her hair. She was definitely enjoying his unease.

Marcus was struck with a feeling of deja vu when she asked him that question. He remembered another conversation they had shared while they had been searching for First Ones. They had encountered a Vorlon fleet instead. It had been a very personal conversation. It had been stored in his memory for all time. He simple nodded in response to her request, like she had done that time.

"Now that we lived through all this mayhem, what are you going to do now that the wars are over?"

His feeling of deja vu increased. He remembered her answer, but knew she wanted his answer, not her old one. " I don't know. I think I will return to Minbar, watch new rangers being trained. It would be nice to be away from all the wars we have fought. " Marcus dreaded that she would continue the line of questioning from so long ago.

" Is there anyone special waiting for you?"

Marcus felt terribly sad that moment. He thought back to Hasina and Susan Michaels. All his chances were gone. He never considered that Susan would give him a second chance. " No, not anymore. They all seem to die."

Susan almost choked, hearing the pain in his voice as he answered her. She knew that he was thinking of Hasina and her.

Marcus realized that he was the one who had to ask the next question if they were to repeat that conversation they once had.

" And you? Anyone waiting for you?"

Susan smiled, a bit sad, but hopeful at the same time. This was the moment she had been looking forward to. But she needed to remain calm... " Yes, but he doesn't know it yet."

Marcus’ heart broke into pieces. Was that the reason why she had brought him here? To tell him that she had fallen in love with someone else? Up here, she could tell him without being afraid of eavesdroppers like Garibaldi or Stephen. Well, she did seem to trust him, if she wanted to confide in him. He had to be strong and use all his mental discipline not to cry out from the anguish he was experiencing. He never considered losing her to someone else. It had to be Corwin! " Isn't that a strange way to pursue a relationship?" Marcus was speaking without thinking. She was lost to him.

Susan saw his agony and berated herself for being this cruel. But he had left her in the same pain when he had given his life force to her. She couldn't resist getting back at him a little bit. Her agony had lasted more than 20 years. His would only last minutes. " I suppose so, but I want this to be right, to be special."

Marcus couldn't play charades any longer. This game had to come to an end. Why didn't she simply tell him that she loved Corwin? Then they could get back to Babylon 5 where he could hide in his quarters and flee to Minbar without having to look into her gorgeous eyes ever again! The wine was making him more emotional than he normally would have been. He stared at his slender, somewhat bony hands and simply waited for her answer. " When were you planning on telling him that you love him? I hope that he realizes how bloody lucky he is."

" You think so?"

Marcus refused to look into her eyes. He wished that he could pull up his hood and hide in its shadows. He had once told Delenn that part of his heart had gone dead years ago, now the other part had perished as well. " Yes. I think he’s the luckiest bastard around. I hope he’s worthy of your love." He choked when he said that last word. Love... he had wanted to call her that for years... his love. Now he had to remain silent for the rest of his life.

" I was planning on telling him tonight."

Marcus wanted to get up, but his legs refused to co-operate. The wine was getting to him... He was fighting back hot tears.

" Then we should get back to Babylon 5, instead of wasting your time here."

Susan got up and remained standing in front of him. He was still looking at his hands. He was struggling inside. She had hoped that he was going to tell her that he loved her, but apparently he lacked the courage to do so. She should have known. How she loved him for being Marcus Cole... she wouldn't want him any other way. " I don't think I am wasting my time... Marcus... you still don't understand, do you? I’m telling you that I love you, only you, Marcus!"

 

RECKONING DAY PART 13 OF ? NC-17

 

Marcus lowered his eyes once more. Her confession had absolutely shocked him. He had never expected it. The truth was that he didn't know what to say or how to act. He wanted to tell her that he loved her so badly, but he was frightened to do so. There was this small voice in his mind, telling him that she would die if he admitted his feelings for her. Fear was building in his stomach, causing him to feel sick. Then there was this other voice, trying to convince him to give their love a chance. //After all, she came back from the dead!// Being put in a cryo tube was close enough to death to him. He wanted her to live and to be happy. That would never happen while he was around, endangering her life. He had to let her go. She would meet someone else, more worthy of her love and affection. He didn't deserve her.

" Marcus? What is the matter? You look so distant..." Susan looked at his eyes, filled with unshed tears.

Marcus slowly rose from the command chair and it took him some time to work up all necessary courage to stare into her waiting blue eyes. Her marvellous eyes were filled with pure love and Marcus realized that she was being brutally honest with him. It pained him that he had to hurt her on purpose, but he had to prevent her from getting killed again. She had to stay away from him, he was definitely bad luck. " Susan, I feel honored, believe me... but you need to understand that things could never work out between us."

Susan’s heart went cold, what was he talking about? She couldn't be wrong. She knew that he loved her. He would have died for her if he hadn’t been stopped. Marcus started to turn away from her. " Marcus! Don't do this to me. You... can't walk away like this!" Susan was yelling at him, but he continued to leave the bridge. Getting furious, she shook herself from her paralysis and ran off after him. " You stay here and explain yourself, Cole! And don't you dare to lie to me!" She grabbed him by his arm and forced him to stop his retreat.

Marcus didn't struggle to free himself from her hold. He couldn't. Susan went to stand in front of him. She raised his face with her hand and forced him to look her in the eyes. Marcus was lost for words, how could he make her understand? " I… everyone I ever cared for died, Susan. My brother died, you... Hasina died... my new aide sacrifices her own life to safe mine within two days of her arrival and... now that you’re alive once more I don't want to cause your death again. I’m trouble, Susan. The people I care for perish...You should stay away from me... put as much distance between us as possible. Perhaps then you won’t be affected... by my curse... please Susan, let me go!"

Susan had no verbal answer to his plea. There was only one thing she could do. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him close to her. She ignored his attempt to break free. He was a lot stronger than her and if he wanted to get away from her he could do that without any problems. But he didn't and that told her that he longed to hold her.

His resistance crumbled with every breath he took. It scared the hell out of him that she had broken through his defences.

She moved one of her hands to the back of his neck and felt him tremble under her touch. Moving his head closer to hers, she kissed him gently. Amazed, he allowed her to his teeth to gain access to his mouth. She pulled him even closer, desperate to feel his warmth. He didn't resist any longer and she explored his sweet mouth. A sigh left his lips as she ended the kiss. He was flushed and his eyes stared at her. " Marcus, I lost my share of loved ones also. My mother committed suicide, my brother was killed in the Earth-Minbari war and a... lover deceived me completely... I thought that I could never trust anyone after what happened to me, but being so close to death made me realize that I love you. I want to give our love a chance, Marcus. I want to try one more time, please. I know that I never told you that I knew that you loved me. I kept quiet when I should have told you that I loved you too. The first thought I had after coming back was that I had to tell you how I felt. It hurts even more when you die and you never gave love one last chance." Susan couldn't tell him that she had regretted not telling him for 25 years. He wasn't ready to hear that. All his defences had been shattered and he was staring at her from the depths of his troubled soul. " Let me ease the pain you’re hiding in your soul and you can comfort me when I feel lost. Marcus, we belong together. You are the other half of my soul. I searched so long to find it and I was so blind these last years. Tell me that you love me too. I couldn't stand living without you, knowing that you’re withering away on Minbar. Don't do that to us, Marcus. I LOVE YOU." Her last words were driven by fear that he would run away from her. He was still trembling, but now his arms slipped around her, holding her close to him. They stayed, locked in that loving embrace for some silent minutes.

Marcus sensed her warm body, clinging to his. He had waited for her his entire life. And now she’d told him that she loved him and that she wanted to try to build a relationship with him. His brain was telling him to run as fast as he could, his heart was urging him to stay with her for as long as he lived. He thought his heart had gone dead, but it was beating steadier and faster than it ever had. Susan was still staring at him and he realized that she was practically begging him to give her a chance. How could he deny her? " You will have to be patient, Susan... I am difficult to be around."

" I don't care, Marcus, as long as you ARE around." Susan decided that she wanted to taste his sweet lips again, loving the fact that they were already bruised from their first kiss. Marcus leaned closer to kiss her, his hands moving up her back to caress her hair. It was heaven to both of them and Susan regretted that she had to end the kiss because she was getting short of breath. " Come on, love. Let's get back to Babylon 5."

He started to withdraw his arms from her. He was overwhelmed by the emotions that were taking possession of him. Susan didn't want to lose his warm embrace and snuggled up to him as they left for the shuttle.

 

Stephen Franklin was on his way back from Garibaldi's quarters. They had discussed Susan’s wondrous recovery and the fact that she and Marcus had left Babylon 5 together. Garibaldi had given him an all-knowing smile and had then proceeded to tell him that he had seen them having dinner together. Stephen decided that he had to get back to Medlab. His shift was about to start and he really hoped that Susan and Marcus had worked things out. Both of them deserved some happiness in life.

" Susan, slow down... Where are you taking me? Susan...?"

Stephen recognized Marcus' voice immediately. Damn, there was no place to hide. He was going to run straight into them. They turned around the corner, holding hands. Love was evident on both their faces and Stephen smiled.

Marcus saw the chuckle in Stephen’s eyes and knew that the news of their new relationship would spread over the station in mere minutes. Stephen would tell Garibaldi and he would tell Zack....Marcus was afraid to think how far this news was going to travel. He had no doubt that Lennier had already informed Delenn and Sheridan of their dinner.

" Susan, Marcus....I didn't expect to run into you here." Stephen saw that Marcus tried to pull away from Susan, knowing that she was keen on keeping her affairs private. But Susan gave him a quick look and pressed herself even closer to him. Marcus knew that the only thing he could do was to give in.

" Stephen, did you already sign those divorce papers?"

Susan laughed and Stephen joined in. Marcus still felt uncomfortable. Old habits died hard and he expected Susan to turn on him and tell him that she had changed her mind.

" Yes, they are in the mail. " Stephen realized Marcus' embarrassment and had mercy on him. " See you later." Stephen almost ran to Medlab where he immediately established a link to Garibaldi who was surprised to get a call from Stephen who had just left him.

" Stephen?"

Stephen smiled wickedly. " You will never believe who I ran into..."

 

Marcus was relieved when he discovered that Lennier wasn't waiting for him in his quarters and sat down on the couch. Susan had disappeared into the kitchen. He was glad to be home now that he was feeling sick. He shouldn't have drunk that much wine. But he couldn't deny that warm and pleasant wave rushing through his body that had taken away all his tension. He knew that he was falling asleep and fought it. He smelled fresh coffee brewing before sleep claimed him.

Susan emerged from the kitchen, loving every sip of the real coffee. She couldn't help smiling when she saw that he had fallen asleep seated on the couch. She figured that he would be tired after all the wine he had had. She also realized that he would be much more comfortable sleeping in the bed. There was no way that she was getting him to the bed without waking him up first and she hated doing that to him. " Marcus? Lets get you to bed!"

Marcus stirred from his sleep, ashamed he had slumbered while she was with him. " Sorry, Susan... it’s the wine… I don't normally just fall asleep." Marcus yawned.

“ Don't worry about that. But you should sleep in bed, not on that couch." Susan pulled him to his feet.

Marcus tried to stay awake but his eyes weren't co-operating. Susan took him to the bed and helped him to lie down.

" I will be back in a few hours, Marcus. Then we will have breakfast."

He didn't hear her words anymore. He was sleeping deeply and she covered him with the comforter, wanting him to stay warm. She kissed his brow one more time and left his quarters. She stopped when she reached the core tube. Up until then she hadn't realized that she had been whistling. She reached her quarters and immediately slipped out of those uncomfortable shoes. She sighed when she unzipped the dress and changed in to some more comfortable brown pants and a long sleeved shirt of the same color. She sat down on the couch and thought the last hours over. It would take Marcus some time to get used to this new situation, but she could wait for him to come to terms with everything. She lay down on her couch. She could definitely use some sleep herself.

 

Marcus woke several hours later. He didn't remember going to bed at all and pushed away the comforter to sit up. He was still a bit tired, but the slight rush of intoxication had vanished completely. What was that smell? It reminded him of his childhood, before he had been drafted into Earthforce during the Earth-Minbari war. He definitely smelled like the scones his mother had made on Sunday afternoons. He tried to shake off the last reminder of his sleep and walked into the living room. Susan stood in his kitchen. He never knew that she could cook at all and scones? He always thought that she detested all this ' British ' stuff. " Susan?"

She turned around and smiled at him. He noticed that she had changed clothes. No matter what she wore, she always looked beautiful to him.

" Marcus."

Marcus saw the tray with tea, scones and marmalade standing on the kitchen counter. She beckoned him to come closer. He was a bit hesitant to do so. The moment he was close enough she reached out for him and kissed him on his lips. Marcus was still trying to get used to this different Susan Ivanova.

" Did you have nice dreams?" Susan turned her attention back to the tray and carried it into the living room where she sat down.

Marcus took a place opposite from her. Heat rose to his face as he thought back to the rather erotic dream he’d had about her. He might be a virgin but she definitely aroused him. He didn't know what to say so he simply nodded.

Susan noticed his timid reaction to her question and realized what that dream must have been about when he blushed and avoided her eyes.

In order to deflect some of the awkwardness he was feeling, he tried one of the scones. " I never knew that you could make scones."

" It isn't that difficult, just follow the guidelines of the recipe." Susan watched him eat, delighted that he liked them. She handed him his cup of tea and sipped from her own.

" I thought you only drank coffee." Marcus leaned back. The scones had been absolutely delicious.

" I like tea too, but I need coffee in the morning to get wake up. "

They sat there, watching each other in silence. Marcus started to feel trapped without knowing why.

" Tell me about her, tell me about Hasina."

Marcus cringed. He had done his best to bury the memory and now she wanted to know more. " What do you want to know?" He didn't want to go through all those feelings of shame and self-hate again.

" How did you meet?"

" We both worked on Arisia mining colony. I was... burying myself in my work... I had just lost my parents and William was off to join the rangers. Hasina was the only bright spot in my life at hat point. William returned to warn me about the impending Shadow attack. He’d also asked me to join the rangers. I declined, I was rather mad at him. William and I crashed with our plane and I watched him die in my arms. He made me promise to finish what he had started. The colony was completely devastated by the attack and I believed that Hasina had died as well. I was the only one to get out alive... I ended up in Sinclair’s office..."

Susan had taken his hand into hers while he was telling this story. She could see that he was feeling guilty. " Did you love her?"

Marcus didn't know for sure. He had never had the same feelings for Hasina as he was having for Susan now. " I don't know, honestly. I liked her a lot. We never got a chance to find out." Marcus quickly wiped away a tear and avoided looking at her. He had some questions of his own. " Susan, what happened while you were in cryo? You have changed..."

Now it was Susan’s turn to feel uncomfortable. She couldn't tell him everything yet, but perhaps she could begin telling him part of the truth. " I remember the debris hitting me... I know that you were sitting with me, crying. I realized how stupid I had been to ignore you, but it was too late. I was dying. I couldn't handle more emotions at the time. When I died, I felt at rest. But..." Susan stopped, looked him in the eye and made sure there was no misunderstanding between them when she continued. " I left my body and my soul traveled to the next realm. I know that it sounds crazy, but I was given the chance to return here... to you. I didn't hesitate for one second and took it. I wanted to tell you that I loved you, that I want us to have a future together." He was gently caressing her hand as if he wanted to assure her of his presence.

" There is life after death? I never believed that"

Susan nodded; sat down next to him and embraced him. Marcus acted immediately and pulled her close. " It’s just... I had to die first before I realized how much I loved you, Marcus..." Susan was lost when she stared into his sensual green eyes and gasped when his lips sought out hers. She answered the kiss passionately. She needed, wanted him so badly. Her hands had a will of their own as they slid underneath his clothing to feel his bare skin. Marcus shuddered when her hands rubbed his back. She proceeded to undo the tunic and pushed it from his shoulders. She pulled his turtleneck shirt over his head and sighed when she saw his naked chest. Sliding her fingers over his washboard stomach and his scars she couldn't resist teasing him and lightly scratched his nipples. She closely watched his reaction when she did that. His eyes changed into a deeper shade of green and he sighed. Her body demanded more, but she realized that she didn't have to hurry. This was his first time and she wanted him feel as much delight as possible. She pushed him down till he was laying flat on the couch.

" Susan..?"

She smiled at him, he was flushed and trembled slightly under her touch. It had been more than 30 years since she had made love to someone. She wanted him so badly. " Yes, love?" Expectation burned his eyes, but she also saw fear. He was afraid that he wouldn't be able to please her.

" I… " Marcus' voice faltered when her nimble fingers played with his nipples. She kissed him in the neck. Marcus had never experienced something like this and didn't know what to do.

" It’s all right, darling. I know this is your first time... just relax. " Susan allowed him to unbutton her shirt.

He opened it and looked reverently at her. Stunned, he realized that she wasn’t wearing anything underneath it.

" Please touch me, Marcus."

Marcus caressed her breasts and her nipples grew hard. He caressed them gently, till she moaned her desire. He pulled her closer to him and licked till they were wet, then he touched her again.

Susan shuddered as his fingers moved over her moist breasts. " You’re torturing me, Marcus... I’m already yours..."

She had closed her eyes and Marcus grew more confident now that she was actually enjoying his touch. He gently took one of her nipples in his mouth and suckled it ever so slightly.

" Marcus, please... I need to feel you deep inside me. Make love to me?"

Marcus carried her to the bed. Yes, she was his. Gently, he laid her down and continued to kiss her while his hands unzipped her pants. He pulled them down her long legs and he was halfway as he suddenly realized that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. Awed, he stared at her naked beauty and the sanctuary between her legs.

She tossed her pants on the floor, eager to do the same thing to him. Her fingers were steady as she disposed of his trousers. Now that they were both naked they studied each other. She was perfect, her long legs, small waist and her firm breasts. She arched her back towards him, begging him to touch her again. She looked at him in the same way and admired his body. He was absolutely gorgeous and obviously very aroused. Now that he was fully erect she reached out to take him into her hands. Marcus moaned at her delicate touch.

" Marcus. I need you to touch me too. "

Marcus tried to avoid putting all his weight on her, but didn't know that Susan wanted to feel him on top of her.

Susan shivered, feeling her own arousal, the moisture between her legs. He was driving her insane. There was a throbbing inside her every time he touched her. Releasing him she pulled him on top of her while she opened her legs, inviting him. 

Marcus suddenly sensed her hands on him once more as she guided him in to the core of her own desire. " Susan, are you sure?"

" I crave you, Marcus... If you want me to beg, I will beg... Take me now... Please!"

Marcus slid into her without warning, amazed that she was this warm and moist with bodily fluids. She arched up again and he slid in even deeper. " Susan?" His breathing had become laboured and suddenly he screamed softly as her muscle clenched him for the first time. She had wrapped her legs firmly around him and her hands were caressing his buttocks.

" Marcus, make me yours..."

Marcus started to move inside her, carefully, afraid to hurt her. Every time he thrust inside her she whimpered her need. He was about to stop, afraid that she was in pain, but then she looked him in the eyes. They had changed into the color of the sea and she called out his name. " Marcus... don't hold back damnit! ...Please."

Marcus released all his restrained passion and pulled out of her, only to thrust even deeper into her. She screamed every time he pulled back, only to penetrate her over and over again.

She had closed her eyes and went mad with desire as his fingers explored her flesh, finding her most sensitive spot... her screams changed into moaning as he moved his fingers over the little nub of flesh, still thrusting inside her. The stimulation drove her quickly over the edge.

Marcus watched her closely, she was arching her back towards him to be closer to his fingers. She was close to orgasm and he knew it. But it was hard to concentrate on her desire when his own was overwhelming him. He lifted her from the bed, thrusting one more time, applying more pressure with his fingers while circling her sensitive flesh. A sudden flow of wetness enveloped his fingers as she came. She jerked and hers triggered his orgasm. He yelped as she clenched him again and Marcus experienced bliss in her arms.

" Marcus, I love you…" She frantically grabbed his waist and held on to him. Waves of pleasure spread through her body. She forced her eyes open to see him throw back his head, moaning, almost whimpering his need. Her body was calming down from the sensual attack and she waited till he was ready to open his eyes. They looked at each other, still enchanted by the exchange of love and lust. Marcus withdrew from her and fell to the bed, utterly exhausted but for the first time in years he was at peace with himself and the universe. Cradling his love in his arms he pulled up the comforter to keep them warm. " Susan... I love you... I never thought it would be like this... did I do it right? "

Susan chuckled. She had never come like this. His every thrust had taken her higher, till she had reached heaven in his embrace. " Marcus, you did everything right. I never felt this much passion, loving someone." She kissed his brow and laid her head on his chest, feeling his chest rise with every breath he took. She was tired and relaxed in his embrace. Lazily, she draped one of her legs over his waist.

" I’m so sleepy…"

" That is normal, Marcus."

She fell asleep in his arms and he stroked back some hair, which had fallen into her face. She smelled sweet and felt soft. He had never known such complete peace. Feeling secure and cherished, it didn't take him long to fall asleep as well.

 

RECKONING DAY PART 14 OF ?

 

Susan was the first one to wake up. The warmth of another body laying that close to her briefly confused her. She opened her eyes and discovered that Marcus was holding her tight in his sleep. He made her feel so safe and she wanted to stay like this forever. She stared at his face for some time. He was handsome... and loved her so much. There were lines of pain and suffering edged onto his face. He had been through hell during these last weeks and she wished that she could erase all the pain in his heart.. She forced herself to get out of his embrace and managed to get out of bed without waking him. He needed his sleep so badly. She went into the bathroom and was not surprised to see a real water shower installed there... This had to be Sheridan’s work. 

Birth control, it suddenly hit her... She quickly got dressed and sneaked out of Marcus' quarters. It didn't take her long to get to her own. It was a good thing that she had kept some birth control pills stashed away. She never thought that she would ever have a use for them again, but realized that she didn't want to get pregnant. There was so much to do and their relationship was still fragile. They’d never discussed having kids. Relieved, she swallowed the pill. She had to remember taking them in future and slipped them into her pocket. Then she headed back to his quarters and realized that she was really hungry, so she started making breakfast.

 

Marcus woke, alone and in a too big and now cold bed. He missed Susan immediately. He had been afraid that everything had just been a dream from the moment he’d woken. This had all been a very intense, very erotic dream. The best one he had ever had... It had been too good to be true. He was alone again. The feeling of abandonment hit him suddenly and he curled himself into a small ball. There was no reason to get out of bed, no one was waiting for him. He expected Lennier to come by in an hour and he could try to get some more sleep till then. Perhaps sleep would bring him oblivion and then he could forget the sensual dream he had experienced

" Marcus? Are you getting up? Breakfast is ready and I’m hungry, so get your butt over here. I’m not going to wait..."

Marcus almost suffered a heart attack when her voice called out to him from the kitchen. //Susan? Did everything really happen?// He jumped out of bed, realizing that he was bloody naked. Quickly, he wrapped a sheet around his waist and hesitantly walked into the kitchen, first peeking around the corner." Susan? Is that you?"

" Who else?" Susan laughed when he showed himself. His eyes were still clouded from sleep and she sighed in appreciation at the sight of his gorgeous body. " You better get dressed. I checked your appointments and Lennier is always right on time."

Marcus checked the time again and realized that he had been wrong about the time. Bugger, he needed to get dressed fast. Susan still smiled when the door chime sounded. Lennier was bloody early. She didn't hesitate for one second and answered it.

" Enter."

Marcus was flabbergasted. Did she really say; enter? He knew that he had to retreat to his bedroom very fast, but he couldn't believe that Susan was playing this joke on him. He felt paralysed when the door opened. He went in to the early stages of shock when he saw that Lennier wasn't alone. Delenn and John Sheridan accompanied him. This couldn't be happening to him. He looked at Susan to get some help, but her smile broadened even more.

" Susan... Marcus?" Delenn looked at Marcus who was desperately trying to cover himself up, hiding from their spying eyes, wrapping the sheet more firmly around his body.

" I think that we came at an inappropriate time." Lennier couldn't hide his wicked smile.

Marcus promptly screamed and ran like a madman into the bedroom. Sheridan’s laugh boomed through the quarters as Marcus ran into the bedroom while he was cursing in Minbari.

" Such profanity…" Delenn looked at Lennier, pretending to be shocked. They had never before heard anyone curse in the language of the religious caste.

Susan enjoyed every minute of it. Life with Marcus would be fun. Sheridan came closer and hugged her warmly. Susan was momentarily taken aback, but answered the hug in the end.

" Susan, it 's so good to have you back. I couldn't believe Stephen when he told me that you had been revived. When I saw you on the Babscreen I started to believe, but now... Captain Ivanova, what did you do to poor Marcus?'

Susan raised an eyebrow. " Poor Marcus?"

" I’ve never seen a man blush like that and rush into his bedroom, screaming. " Sheridan waited for her response.

Susan knew that he was only teasing her. He probably knew everything what had happened since she had come out of cryo. Lennier and Garibaldi would have seen to that. " He’s a bit shy and tends to over react, but you already know that."

" So I think it is safe to assume that the two of you... “

" Yes...we love each other."

Delenn extended her hand and gently embraced her. " I am so glad. I always thought that you and Marcus were meant to be together."

Susan beckoned them to take a seat on the couch. Sheridan and Delenn sat down, Lennier remained standing behind the couple. Susan took the coffee and tea over to the table. This was an unexpected but nice surprise. " John... you’re president now... you can't run off and come to Babylon 5 like that... what would your advisors say..."

"Let me worry about that, Susan. I just wanted to see two old friends."

 

Marcus dressed in a hurry. Of all the embarrassing things that could happen to him this had to be the worst. He had seen the mirth in Sheridan’s eyes and Lennier had tried hard to keep his face straight, but he had failed completely. Damn... He slipped into the long cloak and took a long, deep breath. He had to get back in there. He cautiously opened the door and tried to act like nothing had happened.

" Hello, Marcus... you managed to find your clothes...?"

" Bugger..." Marcus took a cup of tea and tried to remain calm. He was praying for a way out of this. He was horrified when the door chime rang again. Now what? This was going to be one of those mornings... and he wished he had stayed in bed with Susan. But then Lennier would have found them together in bed. That would have been even worse. He knew that he sounded irritated, but he couldn't help it. It had been such a rude awakening. " Enter." He shot Susan a bit of a dirty look for getting him into this uncomfortable situation. She chuckled, enjoying this situation a bit too much for his taste. He would have to get even with her for this. He was sure that he could think of something... Marcus was relieved to see Dave enter the room. But the ranger bore a troubled expression. The normal present mischief had gone from his eyes.

" Excuse me. Marcus, can I have a word with you? It is rather urgent."

Marcus got up and took Dave aside. Susan wished that she could hear what they were discussing. Marcus walked back to the living room and looked pleadingly at Susan. " I’m sorry, but I have to leave for some time. I will be back in an hour. "

Susan saw the desire in his eyes to kiss her good-bye, but he was afraid to act on his feelings this openly. After all, they weren't alone in the room. Susan got up and walked over to him. She laid his hands on his shoulders and pulled him close to her. They both needed to get used to expressing their feelings in public. Why not start now? She sensed his bafflement when she kissed him on his lips. " Don't be too long..."

Marcus swallowed hard. He wanted to carry her to the bed and make love to her. Some of his feelings must have shown on his face because Susan started to blush furiously. Marcus smiled, he had never seen her do that before. He dashed out of the room before she could throw anything at him.

" Susan, are you blushing? I should have packed that camera."

Susan growled when Sheridan pointed his finger at her.

 

" Are you certain that your information is correct?" Marcus read the reports thoroughly. If Dave's suspicions proved to be right…

" You know how hard it’s to make lurkers open up to someone they don't know. They don't trust strangers. But they trust you, Marcus. They know you. "

Marcus nodded. Dave was right. This was a very serious matter and it had to be investigated properly. " I will meet you at Harry's bar in one hour. I need to do something first." Marcus had to get back to tell Susan that he was going to disappear for some time. She wouldn't like it, hell, he didn't like it either. But he sensed the unease among the lurkers and he had always been the station ranger. They knew his face. He hoped that their guests would have left by now. He needed to discuss this with Susan. He typed in his password and walked into his quarters. Susan was sitting on the couch, doing some paperwork. He sat down next to her.

Susan knew that something was amiss when he sat down. His eyes were dark and his cocky attitude seemed gone. She waited for him to break the silence.

" Susan, I have to do some information gathering in Down Below... I could be gone for some days."

Susan didn't like the sound of that. Marcus was worried. " What is going on? As Captain I need to know."

Marcus knew that she had a valid point. But that didn't make it easier. He sought out her eyes. " Have you ever heard of an organisation called the Lords of Death?"

" The Lords of Death? No, never." Susan put the paperwork away and swung her legs over his.

Marcus laid a hand on her knees. She was distracting him. He had to concentrate. " It’s a group of criminals who stage fights secretly. They move around a lot. Their only goal is to make profits of the bets that are made. They choose a planet, space station or whatever and search for the best fighters at hand. Then they kidnap them, along with 2 people the fighter cares for. One fighter is pitched against another. If he wins they will release one of the hostages, if he loses they kill one hostage. During the last fight, the rules change a bit. The fighter has to fight to the death or the last hostage is killed in his place. Either way, the audience gets to see a murder. They pay to see the fights and bet on the winner."

" What has that to do with Babylon 5?" Susan had a bad feeling.

" I have reason to suspect that they have moved to Babylon 5. Over the last couples of days some people have disappeared. Some of them were renowned for their fighting skills."

" Marcus, I hate the sound of this... and how do you know so much about it?"

" They kidnapped a friend of mine once, Dave, another ranger. The rangers managed to get to him just in time."

" There is something I don't understand...."

Marcus waited for her to carry on.

" If they release that first hostage, they have to know that he is going to talk..."

" Ah, they worked that out as well. Before they release you, they inject you with a drug that takes away your memory of the last couple of days. When the memories start to return, the organisation has already moved somewhere else... The fighters know that they can save the lives of the ones they care for and they fight to the best of their abilities...."

Susan understood at last. " And your part in all this?"

" I need to find out if they are really here."

" How?"

" Don't worry, love. I’m only going to ask some contacts of mine if they heard anything.... it isn’t dangerous."

Susan didn't like this at all. She had hoped that Marcus, being Ranger One, would stay out of dangerous situations and now he wanted to dive right into one.

" I promise that I will contact you every 12 hours...does that work for you?"

" I guess it will have to, but please, be careful, Marcus. I don't want to lose you."

" You won't." Marcus cupped her face in his hands and kissed her long and passionately.

" How long before you have to go?" Susan wanted to make love to him and by they way he looked at her she could tell that he felt the same.

" One hour."

" Then let us not waste one minute of it."

Marcus cradled her in his arms and carried her to the bed.

 

RECKONING DAY PART 15 OF ?

 

It didn't take Marcus long to sense the unwillingness the lurkers were displaying. Even his most loyal contacts were trying to avoid answering his questions. He had been working in Down Below for 24 hours now and had kept his word and had contacted Susan 12 hours ago. Stephen had given her permission to go back to work in C&C and Marcus had seen the relief on her face as she was no longer locked up inside her quarters. He needed to get close to a Babcom console to contact her again. He didn't even notice that his empty stomach was growling for some food. He hadn't eaten or slept since he’d arrived in Down Below. There was a dark sense of foreboding all around him and that made him edgy. He sat down in front of a console and tried to get a connection to Susan. Her shift would have ended by now and she should be in her quarters, so he tried there first. His call was answered almost immediately. He could tell by looking at her face that she was worried. He hoped that he was the source of that concern, which would indicate that she had not yet forgotten about him.

" Marcus..."

Marcus saw that she wasn't alone. Stephen Franklin was with her, apparently enjoying some hot coffee.

" You look....like you haven't slept for days...are you taking care of yourself?"

Marcus smiled. She did care for him. Stephen looked at him, smiling but also concerned. When would those two finally realize that he could take care of himself? It was nice to be fussed over at times... but there was only so much he could take. " I am fine, Susan. I see that you already traded my lovely company for my ex-husband’s? I have to remember not to stay too long away from home!"

Stephen chuckled. Marcus would never let him forget that they had to be pretend being newlyweds when they had to contact the resistance on Mars.

" Did you discover anything yet?" Susan tried not to show her fear , but she simply couldn't ignore it. It was dangerous in Down Below and Marcus wasn't up to his usual tricks. He hadn’t yet fully recovered from all the emotional stuff he had gone through. She wanted him back in her quarters where she could keep an eye on him.

" Not yet. For some reason the lurkers seem to be terrified. My guess is that this organisation has moved here. There are still people disappearing and I don't like it one bit."

" Stay out of trouble, Marcus. I hate to see you return to Medlab so soon. You are a terrible patient," Stephen quipped.

" Yeah, right!" Marcus' eyes lit up with some fire of their own and he hated to terminate the connection but he had to. Talking to Susan made him want to hold her in his arms again.

 

Susan sat down, taking a big gulp of her coffee. She never expected that his absence would affect her like this. She hadn’t been able to sleep properly. She had this doomsday scenario in her head. Something terrible was going to happen to Marcus. Her happiness wasn't supposed to last. Everyone she cared for had died and now she had to face the irrational fear of losing Marcus as well. She decided to give him another 12 hours. The she was going to Down Below herself. Marcus needed rest and she needed Marcus. She couldn't remember Delenn ever going to Down Below to do some information gathering. Why did he have to do that? There were enough rangers who had been trained for this job. This was so like Marcus, getting himself into trouble. She could only hope that he no longer had that death wish.

" You really care for him, don't you, Susan? I have to admit that I’m surprised. I always thought that you had some problems with relationships."

Susan turned around to face him. " He’s worth the risk, Stephen. Believe me. I would never have forgiven myself if I hadn't tried one more time. I once told someone that all love was unrequited. Well, it shouldn't be and I’m making sure that it isn't! " She remembered the break-down she had suffered 30 years ago. This Stephen had never seen her fall to pieces and she hoped he never would. She would never forget how hard she had cried while staring at Marcus' dead body. She had been given another chance and she was going to fight for it.

Stephen smiled warmly. He had never expected her to mellow down like this. The hard-nosed Commander was still there, but loving Marcus had definitely been a change for the better.

" But I don't like the way he looked. He should be in his quarters. I don't understand why he has to do this himself. He still needs rest!" Susan stared into her coffee mug. It had not been her intention to speak out her concerns for his well being this openly.

" Susan, I discovered one thing during the problems we were in. He’s a ranger, a trained warrior, he can defend himself in every situation. He’s actually very dangerous when he uses that pike. I should know, I treated his victims. You can't keep him locked up somewhere because you’re worried. You’re warriors and there’s always the possibility that you get caught up in something bad. I know that it’s hard to live with a fear like that. But you have to trust him."

" I know that you’re right, but... emotions aren't that rational sometimes, Stephen."

" But at least you’re having those emotions again. I sometimes wondered about you being in touch with your feelings, Susan."

" It has been a long time since I talked to my heart, Stephen. This is all... kind of new to me."

" Why don't you join me for dinner? Seems to me that it has been a time since you ate yourself."

Susan nodded, why not? She could use some company. It would take her mind of Marcus. " Let's try out that new place; that French restaurant."

Susan and Stephen left her quarters, but there was still that nagging feeling tugging at her mind.

 

" Come on, Julian, you must know something. Nothing happens in Down Below without you knowing all about it. I only want one straight answer to my question, then I’m gone. Are the Lords of Death on Babylon 5? For old times sake, please tell me!" Marcus was at the end of his rope by now. So he had decided to go to the big boss himself. The elderly man was running every illegal scheme in Down Below. Julian had been in charge for three years now. The bald man was staring at him. Marcus knew that he was weighing the disadvantages and the benefits he would get by opening up the current Ranger One. The little dark eyes burnt with a dark fire and he seemed to have reached a decision.

" I owe you, Marcus. You saved my life once. I will answer this question for you and then we are even."

" That's fine with me." //At last, I’m making some progress.//

" They’re here. They arrived a week ago. It came to my attention that outsiders where handling bets and that is my territory. They never told me what organisation they belong to but it was fairly obvious that they worked for the Lords of Death."

" Bugger, you do realize that we have a problem on our hands?" He had to relay this information to Dave as soon as possible. The rangers needed to expose off the Lords of Death.

" I have no problems with them. They will move along when their business is finished here. I cling to my life, Marcus. I’m not going to oppose them."

Marcus realized that Julian would be of no help to him and got up from his chair. He needed to contact his rangers right now. It took Marcus some time to realize that the corridor he was in was deserted. Normally it would be crowded with lurkers and traders. He looked about, where was everybody? His instincts warned him that something was definitely wrong, but the warning came too late. He heard a strange sound, smelled gas, a sedative probably. His reflexes slowed down considerably and he never knew what hit him, when someone dealt a hard blow to his head. He didn't register falling to the floor, he was already unconsciousness.

 

Susan and Stephen were halfway to the restaurant when they smelled a foul stench. Stephen was the first to mention it. It reminded him of a sedative they used in surgery to put the patient out. " Susan, do you smell that also?"

" Yes, I..." Susan couldn't remember what she was about to say. Why were there no other people in the corridor? Something was wrong. All her alarms went off in a startling hurry. " Stephen, we have to get out..." Susan wasn't capable of ending that sentence. Her eyelids grew heavy and everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Stephen fell to the floor, her own body following his in the process. She suddenly realized that she was losing her consciousness too. She knew that her luck wasn't allowed to last.

Two men, dressed in black, came around the corner, wearing protective masks. They grabbed Susan and Stephen’s arms and dragged them over the floor to the core tube, which opened at their command, taking them even further down into the bowels of the space station.

" I didn't think that would be so easy to capture these. This Ivanova has quite a reputation."

" I know, but that ranger was also easily taken. We had the advantage of surprise. Lets make this thing work. People are already betting great sums of cash on the ranger. We have to see to it that he is intimated properly and in order to obey our orders we need these two as hostages. She’s his lover and the other one his best friend. We will make profits like we never have done before."

They arrived at their destination some minutes later. This part of the station had been abandoned after the war, when a lot of lurkers decided to head home. They opened the door to reveal a small room. There were two beds, some chairs and a table with food on it. They wanted their fighters and hostages alive and in good shape. Otherwise they would be useless. Susan and Stephen were pulled up on the beds and left there. A third man entered the room, dragging Marcus Cole behind him, who was also unconsciousness. They pulled him into the room and then stepped back. It would take some time before any of them were going to wake up. That would leave them ample time to let their customers know that another contender was going to fight. They slammed the door shut as they left, making sure that the door was properly locked.

Susan was the first to open her eyes. She felt groggy and she had trouble remembering what had happened to her. The last thing she was able to think off was Stephen and her heading to that new restaurant. Then she remembered the gas and Stephen dropping to the floor. She raised her head a bit too fast and felt dizzy. Stephen was resting on another bed, his eyelids starting to flutter. He seemed to be all right. " Stephen? Wake up!" Susan was upset that she had allowed herself to be captured so easily.

" I am... awake... keep that voice down..."

Susan relaxed and rested her head on the pillow again. She needed to block out the creeping darkness in her mind. Stephen managed to sit up, his eyes momentarily closed again.

" Susan? How are you doing?"

" Looks like I am going to survive." Her mind started to clear up and she succeeded in sitting upright. She had never seen this room before. It appeared cold. She fixed her eyes on Stephen, hoping that the doctor was okay.

Stephen opened his eyes again and searched the room. " Marcus?"

Susan startled and looked in the direction Stephen was staring. She rose from the bed the moment she discovered Marcus, laying on the floor. She made her way over to him as quickly as possible, without tripping over her own feet.

Stephen was with her in a second and checked Marcus' vital signs. " My guess is that he has been sedated as well." His hands searched routinely for any other injuries. He stopped when he felt a big lump on the ranger’s head. " He was whacked over the head with something. We should get him into the bed." Stephen started to carry him over to the bed when he discovered that Marcus' hands were cuffed. " Looks like somebody thinks he might be dangerous."

They gently laid him down on a bed. Susan started to rub his hands, talking to him absentmindedly, urging him to wake up. Stephen knew that there was nothing more he could do for his friends and searched the room for an escape route. But except for the metal door, there was none.

Susan caressed his face and some tears made their way down her cheeks. She hadn't expected to ever see him again. "Marcus, please wake up. I need you, please." Her words seemed to have a definite result as his eyes slowly opened.

 

RECKONING DAY PART 16

 

" Marcus, are you all right?"

" Yes, don't worry love." Marcus saw the little, shining teardrops sliding down her face. He attempted to wipe them away with the back of his hand, but the handcuffs stopped him. Great, he had allowed them to capture him like he was rookie. He should have been paying much more attention to what was going on around him.

" Perhaps somebody can explain to me what is going on? I know that I am usually the last to hear, but..." Stephen couldn't help checking Marcus' pulse and reflexes. The ranger seemed fine, but there was a bit of a foggy look in his eyes. He attributed it to the blow to the head Marcus had suffered.

" I guess that I do owe you an explanation. " Marcus managed to sit up, struggling a bit due to his shackled hands. He tried some Minbari mantras to get his emotions back under control The woman who meant everything to him and his best friend had been kidnapped and he was the only who could ensure their safety. " We are being held prisoner by the Lords of Death. They pitch fighters against each other. You two are held hostage to make sure that I will fight to the best of my abilities. Should I win, one of the two of you will be released. Should I loose... then we are all dead."

Stephen understood. They were in trouble again. " Well, we managed to escape when the Vindrizi kept us prisoner. This time we are also going to make it!"

Marcus looked at his friend. He couldn't share that optimism. This was far worse, these were well-organized criminals who wanted to make as much profit as possible. They didn't care if the fighters and the hostages lived or died. They were brutal, but Marcus decided to keep the truth to himself. No use in worrying Franklin. There was nothing they could do. But looking into Susan's eyes, he realized that she did understand the danger they were in." They only thing we can do is wait." Marcus raised his arms and Susan snuggled up to him, ignoring Franklin who stood there, gloating. Marcus smiled at Susan who had fallen asleep in his arms. Her warmth and presence calmed him down and he smoothed some hair back from her face.

" Man, was I wrong back then." Stephen sat on the other bed, opposite from him.

Marcus looked up, wondering what Stephen was talking about.

" I remember that I said that the two of you were in different galaxies. I never imagined something like this could happen."

Marcus remembered. Stephen had been quite specific about him not being her type. He still had problems sometimes believing that she loved him. Marcus knew that he had to talk to Stephen about something he rather left unspoken. " Stephen, I want to ask you something... but it's so unfair."

" Just ask me, Marcus."

" It won't be long before they come to get me for the first fight. I don't know who my opponent will be and I... should I win they will release only one of you..." Marcus' eyes dropped to the floor, he couldn't ask Stephen to let Susan be released first. There was the possibility that he wouldn't make it through the second fight.

" I understand, Marcus. She'll be the first to get out of here."

Marcus stared at Stephen's eyes. He knew that his eyes were watered and pulled Susan even closer. " Take care of her for me? "

" Why, you’re going to be there also, aren't you?" Stephen was getting worried. There was something Marcus was holding

back.

Marcus shook his head in denial. " The second fight is to the death. Should I win then you will be released and I will have to fight the reigning Lord of Death. Considering the fact that I already had to fight it will be easy for the guy to finish me off. Should I lose, we’re both dead. So, there is no way I’m going to make it out alive anyway. But I will try my best to get the two of you out of this rat hole."

Stephen rebelled against the unfairness of this situation. He was about to make a remark when Susan stirred, starting to wake.

" Hello there, enjoyed your nap?" Marcus tried to memorize her eyes. He had no idea how long they would be together from this moment on. Susan smiled and Marcus had to avert his gaze. He was almost in tears.

Susan noticed it immediately. " Marcus, what's the matter?"

Marcus released her from his embrace and got up from the bed. He didn't know what to say or to do, for the first time in 3 years, he was lost.

Suddenly the door opened and three, armed men wearing masks entered the room.

" You… outside now!" They pointed towards Marcus.

Susan knew what was about to happen and wanted to scream at the men to leave them alone. She got up from the bed, ran towards him and kissed him, a kiss full of fear and love. He was grabbed by his shoulders and the men pulled him out of the room, slamming the door shut in her face. She would never be able to forget the look on his face... he thought he had failed her.

He had failed her. Marcus was being pushed through the corridors. He knew that he should concentrate on the upcoming fight, but all he could think about was Susan. She and Stephen would die if he lost.

 

Susan had to use every ounce of control to keep herself from screaming. She couldn't believe that it was supposed to end like this. She hated feeling this helpless.

" Susan, there's nothing we can do. We need to have faith in him." Stephen tried hard to comfort her, but he realized that he was fighting a lost battle. The odds were against them. Even if Susan was getting out of here alive, there was only a small chance that she would ever be reunited with Marcus. If that last fight truly was to the death.... Stephen refused to finish that thought. They had to find a way to escape.

" Why does everyone I care for have to die? I thought that I had paid the price to be with him."

" What price?" Stephen's mind was alert and he caught the remark instantly.

Susan shook her head, she couldn't tell him that she had made a deal to get Marcus back. At least there was the strange comfort that he hadn't committed suicide. His soul would be judged honestly when he died. But she didn't want him to die, damn it!

" I can't tell you now, Stephen... I need to... I need Marcus..."

Stephen tentatively reached out for her. Trying to ease some of her pain.

Susan accepted his embrace and cried. //Marcus, please survive, we are going to get out of here. I can't bear to lose you again, never again.//

The object of her thoughts was being pushed into a large cage. The steel contraption was rather big and the walls were plastered with sharp spikes. He recognized it for what it was, the stage where the fighters were supposed to lay down their lives. There was a screaming audience seated all around the cage. He could hear how bets were made and realized that it was his turn to fight. His handcuffs were removed and tried to get the blood flowing again through his hands. One of the masked man remained behind in the cage with him. Marcus observed 5 huge men who sat down opposite the cage. They were dressed like warriors, but they also wore masks in the shape of skulls, their faces hidden. These were the people he had been searching for; the Lords of Death. Well, it seemed they had found him instead. Marcus tried to focus his thoughts, but it was hard. He wondered what kind of fighter he would be facing. He held his breath when he saw a Narn climb onto the platform. Great, a Narn. He had seen enough of G' Kar's fighting to know how deadly they were. Only Zargs were worse. He didn't know the Narn and wondered who was kept hostage to make him fight. There were only losers in this fight. He tried to cover up his sigh when the guard offered him his pike. Marcus took it immediately and opened it to see if it wasn't tampered with. It opened just nicely.

The Narn was handed a sword and he swung it a couple of times to get used to the feeling of the weapon in his hands. It would be difficult to win this one. But he had no choice. The masked man left the cage and locked the door on his way out. Marcus and the Narn started to circle each other, trying to find each other’s weak spots. Marcus caught the first blow the Narn dealt, using his pike. He was thankful that the pike was made of unbending metal. A quarterstaff would have been shattered to pieces at once. Marcus turned and managed to hit the Narn on his back. He didn't want to hurt or kill the Narn but... Susan's life was at stake here. The Narn started another attack and Marcus was driven in to a corner, overwhelmed by the pure force the Narn was using. He felt the cold metal spikes pushing into his back, he had to be careful not to get pushed into them. It was a sure way to die. The entire cage was equipped with the sharp spikes. He ducked and sneaked behind the Narn and dealt him a blow to his head. The Narn staggered momentarily but recovered quickly. He turned about to face the ranger and Marcus created some space by backing up. He wanted to get away from those damned spikes. Marcus decided that it was time to get aggressive himself and used the pike to drive the Narn into the same corner he had been driven into earlier. The Narn was getting mad, not used to an opponent who managed to survive this long. Marcus was watching the Narn's eyes and could see that he was up to something. Marcus went for the legs and rolled over the floor to wipe the Narn's legs away from underneath him. The Narn fell, but Marcus didn't see the dagger that appeared from out of nowhere. He caught the reflection of the shining metal the moment the Narn started to fall to the floor. Marcus tried to roll away from the blade but it was too late. A stabbing pain emanated from his right shoulder where the dagger entered his body. He stopped himself from screaming out in pain. There was only one chance left. The Narn was now on his back and Marcus forced himself to get up and aimed the pike at the Narn's head, knocking his opponent unconsciousness in the process. Blood flowed down his back and he knew he had to act as if nothing had happened. His next opponent would otherwise know his weak spot. Marcus looked over to the Lords of Death and one of them had risen to his feet. There was something familiar about the man but Marcus was unable to discover what. His appearance sent shivers down his spine.

" You have to kill him." One of the other Lords spoke.

Marcus shook his head. He wouldn't kill somebody who was out cold." I won't do that. He's defenceless, he fought well." Marcus held his breath, unsure whether he had just signed his own death warrant. The Lord of Death who had risen earlier sat down again and another rose, approaching the cage, like a predator to his prey. The cage door was opened and he entered the cage. Marcus remained the same, unyielding, he wouldn't kill the helpless Narn. He could see the cold, human eyes, shining through the holes in the mask. The Lord of Death took the Narn's own sword and without any hesitation plunged it into the Narn's heart. The Narn's eyes opened in shock and spasms racked his body who drew his last breath seconds later. Marcus looked at the Lord of Death, obviously disgusted by what he had just witnessed. His pike was taken away from him and the Lord of Death circled around him. Marcus tensed. The Lord of Death seemed to smell the blood on his back and the man chuckled.

" Perhaps you will make it to the last round. Then you will face one of us. I look forward to that. " The Lord of Death turned to the guard. " Release the hostage of his choice and make sure the sedative works properly. The memory has to be blocked completely."

The guard nodded. " Who do you want to be released?"

Marcus knew they would keep their word. " The woman."

" It will be done."

The Lord of Death left the cage, followed by the guard. Marcus was left standing there for some minutes. The crowd cheering him as the winner of the fight. Marcus hoped they would take him back soon, the wound on his back needed to be treated.

 

Susan stopped pacing when the door opened again. She looked up immediately, hoping to see Marcus, but there were only the masked guards.

" Your fighter has won and you are going to live, be glad."

One of the guards pointed at her and Susan felt relieved. Marcus had won and was alive. But what was it that they said? She was going to be released? " What about Stephen?" Susan watched the doctor, who was smiling at her.

He knew she wouldn't leave him without a fight. " It's okay, Susan. Marcus and I discussed while you were asleep. He wants you to live, you are the most important thing in his life and I agree. I also think that you should be the first to go."

" But I can't leave you behind!"

Stephen knew that the time had come to use another reason why it was he who had to stay behind. " Susan, Marcus might be wounded and face it, I am the one with the medical training."

Susan knew he was right, but she didn't like it. "I will find a way to get you and Marcus out of this. I promise."

Hearing her words made the guard laugh. " Forget about that, lady. You won't remember a thing once we have administered the drug to you."

Susan was getting angrier all the time, but she knew that she had to play along. She had to take every chance, however small it might seem and looked at Stephen. " Don't give up."

" I won't." He gave her one last grin, trying to reassure her that everything would be okay in the end.

Susan allowed the guards to take her out of the room. The door closed and the guards held her arms. They reached another room, equipped as a med lab and she was forced to sit down. They rolled up her sleeve and Susan shivered when she spotted the syringe filled with a dark liquid.

" It will be all over and done with in a minute..."

Susan knew that resistance would be useless and felt the sharp sting when the needle entered her body. She was determined to fight the stuff and not to forget when she felt sleepy all of a sudden and her eyes closed against her will.

" Lets take her to her quarters." The guards carried the unconscious woman to the command staff quarters after they got the sign to move.

 

Marcus realized that he was losing too much blood as he started to become dizzy. He needed Stephen's help. Marcus was shoved into the room and searched it at once. Susan was no longer in the room. They seemed to have kept their part of the deal.

" Marcus? She's safe. You don't have to worry."

" Stephen... I need your help." His friend came closer and when he was within reach, Marcus leaned on him heavily.

Stephen knew instantly that something was wrong and led his friend to one of the beds to sit him down. That was when he saw the fresh blood on the back of Marcus' cloak." You are hurt!"

" Yes, the Narn surprised me... I didn't expect that dagger!"

Stephen helped him out of his cloak and remembered that he had seen bandages and other medical supplies next to the food on the table. " Hold on." Stephen raced over to the table. Good, he could work with this. He grabbed the bandages and desinfectives and hurried back. Marcus was trying to get rid off his tunic, but needed Stephen's help to do so. Stephen helped him with the turtleneck shirt and sat down behind him, assessing the damage the dagger had done. Marcus whimpered slightly when he examined the wound. " He got you bad, Marcus. I need to stop the bleeding first. You are losing too much blood." Stephen worked fast, disinfected the wound and used the bandages in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Stephen knew that Marcus had to be in pain, but there hadn't been any painkillers on the table. " I have no painkillers I am afraid."

" I can handle the pain. I was taught how to block it out."

Stephen heard the tense voice and covered his friend with a blanket. He had to prevent Marcus from going into shock due to the blood loss. " Why don't you rest a little while, Marcus?"

Marcus had no other option as Stephen gently pushed him into a lying position. There was an uncomfortable expression in Marcus' eyes.

" I’m sorry, Stephen, but it seems that your chances of getting out of here diminished quite a bit, now that I am wounded."

" Don't worry about that, Marcus. I know that Susan will think of a way to get us out."

Marcus tried to grin, but failed. He knew that the odds were against them. " I’m sorry, Stephen. I promise you that I will try to win... you can't die in here."

“ So won't you, Marcus and now you will rest" Stephen watched Marcus relax a bit and fall asleep. The wound wasn't lethal, but he was quite sure that Marcus would have trouble using his right arm. The dagger had almost certainly hit a nerve. Stephen sat down on the other bed, guarding Marcus' sleep as well as he could.

 

" It is 0530. You have two messages, one from president Sheridan and one from Lt. Corwin."

Susan lazily opened her eyes and stretched. She tried to postpone getting up, but realized that the new Captain couldn't be late. She felt cosy and warm and had to force herself to get out of bed and into the shower. Suddenly she felt something tugging at her mind. She had felt it before as her telepathic powers reminded her of their presence. It felt like fear and desperation trying to take over her mind. Susan dismissed the idea quickly as it vanished. She had worked late yesterday and it was probably just fatigue. What did the computer say? One message from Sheridan? She would answer it when she got to C&C. Then she could also talk to Corwin. She headed to the bathroom and shook her head to free herself from the dark pictures trying to surface.

"Must be going insane at last!"

 

RECKONING DAY PART 17 OF ?

 

Susan was tired. She was having one of the worst headaches she had ever had. She felt miserable, but realized that leaving C&C would be a bad move. Delenn and John had agreed to meet her there and together they would have lunch. The idea of eating made her feel nauseous.

" Susan...ready to go and to have lunch?"

Susan cringed when she heard the loud voice echoing in her head. She had been shocked to find out that John and Delenn were staying on Babylon 5. Somehow it had slipped her mind... These things never slipped her mind. She was trying to answer John’s question but she was overwhelmed by a sense of pain and sadness... where did that come from? Was she receiving some kind of telepathic message? She was getting desperate.

" Susan?"

" Sorry, John. I’m not feeling that well. Head hurts awfully."

John Sheridan looked at Susan and didn't like what he saw. Susan was pale and her eyes were haunted. Something was definitely wrong. " Perhaps you should pay Stephen a visit. Want us to accompany you?"

Susan wanted to decline the offer, but had to search for support when she felt dizzy.

" Whoa... got you. You are going to Medlab now!"

John steadied her. What was going on? Delenn supported her also and they walked her to Medlab.

" Had a little party with Marcus last night?" John couldn't help the remark, Susan probably had a hangover.

" Party? With Marcus?"

Susan froze. Marcus... there was something about Marcus. She had to remember.

" Yes, Marcus? You are starting to scare me big time, Susan." John and Delenn exchanged a glance. She couldn't have forgotten about Marcus. John was relieved when they reached Medlab at last. He expected to see Stephen, but was greeted by Doctor Hobbs instead.

Susan allowed them to take her to an exam bed where she could lie down. This was so unlike any headache she had ever experienced before. Or wasn't it a headache? Was it something else? She heard voices and caught her name. She was too exhausted to pay attention to them. The feeling of fear and pain growing inside her mind. It was like her mind was trying to warn her.

" We’re going to do some tests, commander. Try to relax," Lillian said.

" Where is Stephen?" She wanted her old friend at her side.  
" There was an emergency and he had to leave. Don't worry, I will take good care of you."

Susan relaxed, she knew she was in able hands. //Marcus!// For some reason he haunted her... urging her to remember something. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep as Delenn’s comforting voice soothed her.

Delenn and John stayed with her for the next two hours. John was getting annoyed with the so-called urgent calls from Earth and told his advisors to work things out. Susan came first. He had never forgotten how important it was to help a friend in distress. Delenn had left briefly to attend to some ranger matters. Marcus had disappeared into Down Below and old habits died hard. She had not yet forgotten about all the issues at hand and hoped that Marcus would surface soon. They both rose when doctor Hobbs returned. They didn't miss the troubled look on her face.

" We found a chemical in her bloodstream. It is designed to block the memory... we found something else though..."

John was getting impatient. That drug would explain her strange behavior. " What did you find?"

" She’s a telepath." Doctor Hobbs expected silence and some tension, but Delenn and John merely shrugged.

" We already know that...what about that drug?"

" It definitely explains her headache. My guess is that the drug isn't working properly. Who ever drugged her, didn't know that she was a telepath. The dose was insufficient and I think that her telepathic powers are trying to break through to fight that block. If she hadn't been a telepath, we would never have known about the drug."

" Is there a way to get the drug out of her system? Somebody is trying very hard to erase her memories and I think we need to find out why."

Doctor Hobbs nodded." We are already working on it. She should wake up any minute now. You can see her now, if you want to."

" We would like that very much." Delenn took John’s hand in her own. She needed his strength and support. John smiled reassuringly. They followed Doctor Hobbs to Medlab 2. Susan seemed to be sleeping peacefully. He wondered who would want to tamper with her mind and had they succeeded in doing so? He reacted immediately when she started to stir from her sleep.

" Susan? Are you all right?"

John brought his face next to hers, hoping she was regaining consciousness. Susan moaned and opened her eyes very hesitantly. The headache was diminishing and her memory started to return bit by bit. She struggled for breath when she remembered the abduction, their imprisonment and then the message that she was going to be released. Stephen was still in that rat hole... and Marcus... she didn't even know if he was wounded. " John? We need to move fast..." Susan started telling him what had happened and the new President and the former Entil'Zha fell silent when they realized what kind of danger their friends were in.

" You need to rest a little longer, Susan.... I’m going to get Garibaldi and we start the search right now." John expected that Delenn would want to stay with Susan, but Delenn hurried out of the room immediately, not offering any explanation for her unexpected departure. John had been stunned to see the shocked expression on Delenn’s face. John watched her storm out of the room.

 

Stephen watched Marcus sleep. He was worried. He had no doubt at all that Marcus was going to try his best to get him out of this cell, but Stephen hated the idea that his friend would have to fight with such a wound. He realized that Marcus would never admit that he was in a lot of pain, but he had seen the injury.

" Aaahh…" Marcus woke all of a sudden and sat up straight. He’d had a nightmare: Stephen had been put to death because he had lost the fight.

" Marcus? Calm down."

Marcus relaxed when he heard his friend’s voice. It had just been a bad dream. There was still a chance to make sure that Stephen was going to survive. Marcus felt a sudden rush of pain, emanating from his injured back and he needed to block it out. The Minbari had taught him well and he had been a quick learner. " I’m fine, it was only a bad dream." Marcus propped himself up against the wall for some support. His wound sent a throbbing ache through his right arm and he knew that he would have a hard time using that arm properly when fighting. He should have seen the bloody dagger earlier. " I wished I knew that Susan was all right. I know that they usually keep their word and release the hostage but..." Marcus was too afraid to end the thought. Susan had to be alive. He closed his eyes and saw her beautiful face in his minds eye. It was rather cruel of fate to separate them so quickly after they had confessed their love for each other.

" How is the wound?" Stephen wished he could do something to ease Marcus' pain. He had bandaged the wound as well as he could, but he couldn't take the pain away. A few simple painkillers could have done the trick.

" I’m trying hard not to think of it, Stephen." Marcus was beginning to feel depressed and melancholy. He needed to get his thoughts into the open or they would suffocate him. " I’m sorry I irritated the hell out of you on that trip to Mars, but I was edgy. I’m not used to having somebody around me all the time... I do feel bad about that one."

Stephen didn't like the sound of that. It sounded like Marcus was trying to say goodbye. " Marcus... you did drive me crazy with that pike thing you used to do, but you are my friend and I got over it, don't worry."

" Thanks, Stephen." Marcus wondered if he should continue speaking his thoughts so openly, but there was an urge deep within him to open up to Stephen. He was going to die in a couple of hours anyway." It is funny..."

" What is?"

Marcus' grin seemed desperate. " I have had this death wise ever since my brother died and Valen knows that I tried to get myself killed a number of times. And now, now that I get the ultimate chance to kill myself, I find myself longing to stay alive... I don't want to leave Susan... or you for that matter."

Stephen had always suspected that the ranger had some kind of death wise, but he had been hesitant to voice it. " We figured out that you had some suicidal tendencies years ago when you took on Neroon... let's not forget that you practically shut off your life support system to get to Babylon 5... though I wonder about that one. I do think that you wanted to save the rangers on Zagros 7."

" Of course I did!" Marcus sounded a bit hurt. "I would never leave them to die. " Marcus suddenly regretted bringing up the subject.

Stephen however wasn't finished yet. " There is something still bothering me... this death wish you mentioned... There was a remote chance you would survive the fight with Neroon... there was a chance that somebody would find you when you tried to bring Susan back... even the attempt to take your life using your pike failed. I think that there has always been a part of you that fought that death wish. Deep down you always wanted to embrace that second chance, but you were too hurt to realize that. I think Susan made you aware that there was something else in life to live for." Stephen didn't have a degree in counseling, but he had taken some courses during his medical training. Marcus' reaction told him he had been right. Marcus' eyes were swimming in tears and his left hand was tightly clenched against his chest. " It is okay, Marcus. We all deserve second chances and I think that you have been blaming yourself for something you had no influence over at all."

Marcus nodded. He knew that Stephen was dead right, but admitting that to him was hard. He was about to say something when the door opened again. //Not this soon. I haven't recovered yet!// Marcus knew that the time had come to face another opponent.

" The both of you... get out here."

Marcus was thankful that they hadn’t put the handcuffs back on and swung his legs on to the floor. He used every way the Minbari had taught him to fight pain and fear and cleared his mind of all terror. Stephen helped him getting up and he allowed it.

" Why do they want me out there too?" Stephen whispered. The look Marcus gave him made him feel afraid.

" They want you at ringside. You have to watch..."

Stephen stared at his friend and realized that he would have to remain calm if he wanted to help Marcus. He had to hide his fear and hoped he could manage that.

 

Stephen stayed close to Marcus while approaching the ring. He felt sick when he saw that they were cleaning the stage to get rid off the blood. Marcus was slightly moving his right arm now and then to be sure that he would be able to use it. Single-handed pike fighting wasn't something he was looking forward to, but knew that he could pull it off. He had been trained in single-handed pike fighting, but he had never been wounded during those training sessions. Although he was blocking the pain, there remained an ache emanating from his back. He hoped that he wouldn't be fighting another Narn. He looked at Stephen, who had to stay at ringside while he was being pushed onto stage. He could see the fear in Stephen’s eyes, though the doctor was trying to mask his fright well. It only urged Marcus harder to stage the best fight he had ever fought.

Stephen observed the audience, which was growing impatient. The five Lords of Death made their way to ringside and sat down. He shivered when he looked into those cold eyes, faces hidden by the masks. He glanced at Marcus, who had left the long cloak behind in the holding cell, his Ranger pin still attached to it. His tunic wasn't hiding the fact very well that he had been injured in the previous battle. The bloodstains were still fresh.

Marcus forced himself to stay calm and mentally prepared for the fight at hand. The door opened and another fighter was led to the ring. Marcus recognized the prisoner immediately and cringed. Her name was Kitari and she was one of the best-paid assassins in the known universe. She was cold hearted and only cared for the money or profit a murder would bring her. Her green eyes were displeased; she hated it to be used like this. Marcus watched her climb onto the stage. He had studied reports on her actions. People had seen her on Babylon 5 recently. Some ' business men ' had died in mysterious ways since she had come to the station. He tried to remember what he had read in the reports. She was about his height. Her blond hair was short and her body rather well muscled. Something else struck him, she wasn't human, and her race was known as the Channota's. They were related to humans somehow, but their skeletons were made of metal and they had some rather impressive weapons of their own. Their hearing, smell, sight was highly evolved. Marcus retrieved his pike. He answered the icy stare she was giving him and knew that he would have a hard time fighting a woman, but he also knew that she would kill him without giving his death a second thought.

" These two will fight the ultimate battle. The winner will have to face the reigning Lord of Death and the hostage will be released. "

Marcus looked at the other female Channota who was led to the ring.

" Let the fight begin."

The Lord of Death shouted the words and the Channota reacted immediately. He wasn't surprised to hear the metal sound emanating from her hands. The Channota's possessed metal claws springing from their knuckles. Marcus watched fascinated when the long claws reflected the light. He had to stay clear of those claws. She could kill him in a second. Stephen held his breath, which told him that his own senses were sharpened. He opened the pike and a rush of pain shook his body. //Block it, damnit. They taught me how to do it. Can't use the pain now!//

Marcus succeeded in ignoring the ache, but realized that he couldn't rely on his right arm, it felt paralysed. He decided to switch to single-handed pike fighting which was hard to begin with. He was thankful Durhann had shown him some tricks.

" Be careful, Marcus."

Marcus couldn't stifle a smile when he heard Stephen’s whispered words. Like he had any choices in this matter. He watched his opponent closely. She was growling and her eyes were concentrating on his moves. She started to circle him and he raised his pike. This was it, Stephen’s life depended on him disabling her.

 

RECKONING DAY PART 18 OF ?

 

Susan had no idea at all why Delenn had called for this meeting. She had quickly recovered from the drug she had been exposed to and Doctor Hobbs had allowed her to leave Medlab. John had returned to Medlab and was now taking care of her. Susan could see that he was worried about the way Delenn had been acting during this last hour. Delenn seemed to be very concerned and there was a certain guilty look on the Minbari's face though Susan had no idea why.

Michael had been conducting his own search, till Delenn had given him new instructions. Michael had protested at first, but in the end, he had given in to her demands.

Now they were all assembled in the old War Room that hadn't been used since their victory over Clark. Susan watched them. John was sitting next to her and Michael was evidently very impatient. Zack Allen had joined them too and doctor Hobbs was filling in for Stephen. Susan had seen the frightened look in Doctor Hobbs’ eyes when she had been informed of what had happened. It was no secret to Susan that the good doctor was in love with Stephen. The door opened to reveal the last participant in this meeting. Dave entered the room and took the seat next to Delenn. She seemed pleased and now that every one was present and seated, she started to explain the situation.

" I summoned you here because we need to act quickly in order to save Marcus and Stephen."

Susan was still wondering why Delenn was looking so guilty. " When John and I left for Earth after we won that final battle, I instructed Lennier to tell Marcus everything about the ongoing issues, concerning the rangers. But during all the chaos that followed, it slipped my mind to inform Lennier about our investigation concerning the Lords of Death. The rangers have been trying to infiltrate and expose that organization for a year now. I should have told Marcus myself about the progress we were making. As Ranger One he should have been brought up to date. The mistake was mine. "

"Are you telling me that you knew that this organization was about to come to Babylon 5?" Susan understood her guilty look at last. This could have been prevented.

" Yes. I knew....Lennier had some information, but he left for Earth to join me before he had a chance to tell Marcus. I am determined to make up for my mistake. I took it upon myself to instruct the rangers to prepare to get Marcus and Stephen out of this situation. At this moment the rangers and the security forces of Babylon 5 are getting into position to attack the Lords of Deaths hiding place. "

" How do you know where to strike? You aren't telling us everything, Delenn." Susan was past caring at this point. It didn't matter anymore that she sounded bitchy. Delenn should have paid more attention to ranger matters before leaving Marcus to deal with it.

"We managed to infiltrate the organization and one ranger is acting as a Lord of Death at this moment."

Susan started to rise, eager to begin the attack, when she suddenly stopped and looked at Delenn. The Minbari wasn't finished talking yet. " What is it, Delenn?"

Delenn looked her straight in the eye. " You need to know who our man on the inside is. I know that you aren't fond of him and I don't want you going in there without knowing that he is on our side, trying to kill him."

" Who is it?" John had managed to control his emotions and curiosity up till this point. This woman would never stop to surprise him.

" Neroon."

Susan was so surprised that she had to sit down. //Neroon was killed in the Star fire, taking Delenn's place. How the hell can he be alive?// Susan shot Delenn a questioning look. //Remember, this is an alternate universe. There is always the possibility that things turned out differently in this reality.//

" I am sure that you remember Marcus challenging Neroon to Denn-Sha."

Susan nodded. She had never forgiven the Minbari for beating Marcus almost to death.

" Well, after Neroon admitted to himself that he was wrong, he was declared an outcast. He had to flee. The Warrior cast isn't that forgiving. We had a private conversation after Shakiri stepped into the Star fire. I saw the change Neroon had gone through and offered him to join the rangers. At first, he was infuriated by that idea, but he did go to Tuzanor to become a ranger himself. He stayed there, helping Durhann train the new rangers. Nobody on the outside knew that he was a ranger until now. So, he was the perfect choice for this assignment. He made contact with the Lords of Death, convincing them of his bitterness and hate and they fell for it. After some time, he was allowed in as a Lord of Death. " All of a sudden, Delenn smiled a bittersweet smile. " It is... as you humans call it... ironic, that he who tried to kill Marcus is now bound by his oath to die for the One..."

But Susan wasn't comforted by the fact that they had a man on the inside. She would never trust Neroon

 

Neroon was agitated. He observed how Marcus and Stephen were taken to the platform. He had been mad at himself for not discovering earlier that it was their intention to have Marcus enter the fights, otherwise he would have been able to prevent the kidnapping. Neroon had made sure that the Commander had been taken to her quarters, unharmed. He knew how precious she was to the present Ranger One; Marcus. Neroon grinned underneath his mask. He remembered vividly the battle they had fought, when he had been intent on preventing Delenn from becoming Ranger One. He still wondered why he had allowed Marcus to live back then. The human had devastated all his believes and Neroon had to admit that Marcus had mentally beaten him. Neroon had felt remorse for the trashing he had given the human ranger when he stood at his sickbed. Even then the human had been noble and answered him with humor. It had made him laugh, something he hadn't done for years.

There was blood on Marcus' tunic. He had seen how Marcus had been injured in the last fight and he had almost jumped in there to make sure that Marcus wasn't killed. But he had managed to keep himself back. Doing so would have given him away. He had succeeded in telling his contact where the Lords of Death were hiding, but he was afraid that the rangers would be too late. The fight had already started and Marcus seemed to be in great pain.

Neroon remembered the oath he had sworn when he became a ranger. To live and die for the One. He still didn't fully understand why he had chosen to become part of the rangers. But it had been the home he had always searched for. There was no doubt in his mind that should Marcus lose the fight, that he would jump in there and die defending the One.

 

Marcus hated single-handed pike fighting. He always ended up disorientated. He forgot about Stephen or Susan and concentrated on the fight. He watched the claws carefully. They could do lethal damage if he wasn't alert. The Channota's eyes caught fire and he knew that her animal instincts had taken over. Marcus realised that he would never be able to take her out with his pike. He missed the strength to strike at her. He needed to use his brains and play it smart. But his mind was clouded by the pain and made it hard to think. He blocked her first attack. Her claws almost swept the pike from his hand and he hardly managed to hold on to it.

//The spikes...//

Marcus was trying to work out a plan when she intensified her attack, rolling over the floor to wipe his feet away from underneath him. Marcus jumped out of her way. He had expected that move. He had used it on the Narn as well. Warm blood was running down his back, the bandage would be soaking wet from the blood by now. He deflected another blow but didn't expect her next move when she flung herself at him. He used his pike to stop her, but her claws didn't miss their goal. He moaned when her claws tore his flesh open. He looked in bewilderment at his chest, four long lacerations showed that started to bleed. Marcus felt his strength diminish and he knew that he had to end this fight now if he wanted Stephen to make it out alive. He used a trick Durhann had showed him. This was his only chance, his last bit of energy. He lowered his pike, caught her feet in the process and using both his hands and every ounce of strength he had left, sent her flying into the spikes. A wild scream filled the air when the Channota recognized the trap for what it was, but there was no escape. She landed in the spikes, her body pierced by the long metal objects. Her heart stopped beating while it was pierced. She remained hanging, held up in the air by the spikes. She was dead.

Marcus dropped to his knees. His legs weren't able to support him any longer. He had saved Stephen, which was all that mattered.

Stephen was horrified when the Channota was pinned onto the spikes. He heard the yell the other Channota made and the guard wasn't expecting her action. The hostage flung herself into the spikes, reaching out for her friend. Stephen felt repulsed. One look at Marcus told him that he had given all and there was no more energy left. Marcus had been right. He would be an easy victim for the Lord of Death who was going to take him on.

" You’re free. Sit with the audience and when the last fight is over, you will be allowed to return home."

Stephen had no other choice than to allow the guard to take him to sit at ringside. The guard remained, making sure Stephen wasn't leaving to get help in there.

Neroon realized that he had to act quickly. He had to get in there with Marcus if he wanted to prevent another Lord of Death from taking him on. The rangers, led by Delenn once more, would be crashing in here any moment. He needed to be close to Marcus when the chaos would erupt. He turned to address the leader of the Lords of Death.

" Give him to me... I want him... I still have to settle the score with him... he made me an outcast. I want to be the one to kill... the One." Neroon made sure that there was venom in his voice, he had to sound bitter and dangerous. The leader looked at him. Neroon had a certain reputation and even the human leader of the Lords of Death admired him. Perhaps even feared the Minbari a little.

" He’s yours... make him suffer!"

Neroon nodded. So far, so good. He wished that the rangers would show up. Marcus was on the brink of getting unconscious. He stepped into the cage, uncertain of what to do.

Marcus' mind warned him that there was someone approaching him. He felt like he was in a trance. The loss of blood was severe and he would be going into shock soon. Not that it mattered. He would be dead in a few minutes. He wasn't capable of defending himself. He looked one more time at Stephen to convince himself that his friend was still alive. He raised his eyes to look at the skull mask the Lord of Death was wearing. There was something familiar about that figure... but what?

" Get to your feet and fight me!"

Marcus cringed when he heard that dangerous voice, it sounded like a sword cutting through velvet... He would recognize that voice everywhere, anytime. //Neroon.// Marcus fought to get to his feet. Neroon would kill him… Marcus wasn't even interested why Neroon had joined the Lords of Death. The only thing that he could think about was that fight they had in that abandoned corner of the space station. He experienced the pain of broken ribs again and he hoped that Neroon would show mercy and simply kill him. At long last he found the strength to look into those eyes. He was amazed when he discovered that they weren't staring at him in a cold way, he could have sworn that he saw some concern in them. Well, that proved it. He was in shock and his mind was playing tricks on him. He had no idea how he managed to get back on his feet. He knew he made a miserable impression, swaying on his feet, clutching his chest. The lashes hurt and he had left the pike on the floor. There was no use in holding on to it if he couldn't wield it properly.

" End it quickly, Neroon... from one warrior to another warrior... let me die with honor..."

Neroon admired the strength and courage of the ranger in front of him. He now understood why Delenn had chosen Marcus to be Ranger One. His sharp ears picked up some muffled sounds and he was sure that the rangers were moving in. " You will not die, Entil'Zha... I’m sworn to protect you..." Neroon caught the baffled look in Marcus' eyes.

" What are... you... saying?" Marcus stared at the Minbari as he pulled the mask from his face. Neroon threw the black robes, the Lords of Death used to wear, to the floor to reveal the ranger uniform he was wearing underneath it. Marcus was convinced by now that he had lost his mind. Neroon... a ranger? No way...!

His legs refused to support his weight any longer and he crumbled to the floor. Horrified he listened as the audience started to scream, attempting to leave the area. Two Lords of Death jumped on the stage, armed with PPG's. From the corner of his eyes he caught even more rangers appearing in the room, accompanied by security guards. He heard Garibaldi shouting orders... but they were still to far away to get to him. The Lords of Death and several of their guards made their way into the cage. Marcus searched the floor for his pike and found it, but barely managed to lift it. It fell from his grasp and he noticed a sudden movement...

Neroon extended his pike and attacked the Lords of Death without any hesitation, pride and confidence apparent on his face.

" We live for the One, we die for the One!"

Marcus heard Neroon speak the words seriously and full of respect. There was nothing else he could do, except watching Neroon fight off the attackers. His body felt paralysed and abused....the pain almost too much to bear... he was still trying to figure out why Neroon was defending him, saying those words... but the thought that he was Ranger One kept him from drifting into oblivion. It was the first time that Marcus realized that the rangers were willing to die for him to ensure his safety... all rangers, including Neroon.

 

Susan rushed into the battle, John and Zack at her side. It was mayhem. The crowd was trying to get out and obstructed the entrances and the exits. The rangers were fighting to get in there, the security forces closely behind them. Susan managed to get into the room and her eyes immediately searched for Marcus. She was distracted when she heard a familiar voice call out her name.

" Susan... John... I’m here!"

" Stephen!"

Susan grabbed John’s sleeve and pulled him with her. In the heat of the battle she had to remain calm or she would make lethal mistakes.

John realized that it was Stephen who had called him and discovered Stephen at ringside, seemingly unharmed. At least Stephen wasn't hurt... but where was Marcus?

" Look!" Susan had to shout at him, the crowd was making too much noise. John looked in the direction she was pointing in. He bumped into Susan when she suddenly froze. Susan could only look at the spectacle inside the cage.

Neroon who was using his pike to get rid off the attackers was disarming two Lords of Death in one go. Up until this point Susan hadn't believed that Neroon was on their side, but she had to accept that fact now. It was evident that he was defending Marcus who was huddled into a corner of the cage, a bit too close to the spikes as far as she was concerned. Her heart stopped beating for one second when she saw the blood on his tunic. His head was resting on the floor and his hair hid his face. But she just knew that he was in a bad way. Her mind was screaming at her to get moving, to get into that cage, but she knew that it was impossible at the moment. The crowd was going berserk. She could only stand there and watch how Neroon took care of every opponent. He was the only one left standing.

Neroon had to make a decision now. The rangers were only moving slowly and there were already other attackers moving to enter the cage. The cage was one big death trap and he had to get himself and Marcus out of it as quickly as possible. He walked over to Marcus, his pike ready to fend off any attackers. He studied Marcus and reached the conclusion that Marcus was in shock and would be no help at all. Neroon was determined to get him into safety. He simply lifted the human to his feet and carefully placed his weak and bleeding body over his shoulder, carrying him out of the cage. He knew a place to hide until the rangers were in control of this situation. He couldn't take the risk that Marcus was killed. Neroon promised himself that he would die if necessary defending the One.

Susan was terrified when Neroon left the cage with Marcus and disappeared into one of the secret passages the Lords of Death used. Her suspicions returned... was Neroon going to kill Marcus any way? She forced her body to move, resolved to get to Marcus as quickly as possible...

 

Reckoning day part 19

 

Marcus was still conscious when he realized that he was hauled on to Neroon's shoulder. He wanted to protest because his wounds were just downright painful, but knew that Neroon wouldn't listen to him. The Minbari was determined to do things his way. He couldn't blame Neroon for that. The warrior had been a leader amongst the Minbari and he had to admit that he trusted Neroon in a weird way. He had no idea where Neroon was taking him or why, but he was happy to leave the cage. Marcus managed to lift his head a little bit, just enough to see that Neroon had opened a secret passageway. The door slammed shut and darkness descended on him. He hoped that Neroon would let him down soon for the pain was almost too much to handle.

Neroon looked behind him to see if somebody was following them. He felt relieved when he realized that they had escaped without attracting the Lords of Deaths attention. He was rather sure of the fact that the Lords would find out where they were hiding and then he would have to fight them off. Considering the fact that the rangers and the security guards had to fight themselves a way through the angry mob, Neroon reached the conclusion that it would take them a while to get to them. He needed to find a safe place where Marcus could rest. He carried the human to the back of the corridor and tried to be as gentle as possible when he laid Marcus down on the floor. Neroon had to brush back some hair to look at his face. The pain was evident on his face and his green eyes were filled with agony. " Marcus... we will have to stay here until the rangers have gained control of the situation. They will come to find us. " Neroon wasn't sure that Marcus had heard him. There was a rigid look in his eyes. Neroon realized that Marcus was trying to block out all the pain, concentrating on the mantras the Minbari teachers had shown him during his training.

Marcus heard the words, but he was too busy dealing with the agonizing pain. His back started to feel numb, his right arm was paralyzed at his chest ached. Well, he had felt worse. He forced himself to answer Neroon. " I will be fine... I felt much worse after our little fight."

" Little fight? You are the only human to withstand my attack for so long. You may not have been able to defeat me physically, but you definitely defeated me mentally. I owe all my newfound insight to you. " Neroon paused for a moment. He wanted to be sure that Marcus was still conscious. He was on the edge of going into shock and Neroon wanted to keep him awake as long as possible. " I am honored to serve you, Entil'Zha, although I would have declared anyone mad who told me that I would be a ranger one day. "

Marcus tried to smile, but it turned out a grimace. Neroon's eyes told him that the Minbari was sincere and Marcus felt a bit embarrassed that a Minbari, a prominent leader of the Warrior cast, was proud to serve him. As far as he was concerned, Neroon would have been a much better choice to be Ranger One. He wondered why Delenn hadn't chosen Neroon.

Neroon knew what Marcus was thinking. He saw all the different emotions on Marcus' face and had to tear himself away from those eyes that seemed to bore into his very soul. Neroon had always been a warrior, but at the end of his ordeal he had discovered that there was also a religious calling in his soul. The rangers combined those two callings into one. He’d had trouble accepting orders at first from his teachers as he was used to being in charge, but after a while he had grown accustomed to the respect the rangers showed each other and he found that he liked to serve others. When he had learned that Marcus was to be Ranger One, he had fought the mixed feelings that he was experiencing. At first, he had been angry that Delenn had chosen a human and not him. Then he reconsidered. Marcus had been willing to die for her, defending the One, Marcus had even challenged him to Denn-Sha. After remembering their fight and the words Marcus had spoken, Neroon had to admit that Marcus was the only one worthy to become Entil’ Zha.

Marcus moaned and his mind returned to the present. His eyes caught the image of a blanket lying on a couch in the back of a room. He could see it from where he was standing in the corridor and made up his mind in mere seconds. " Marcus, can you walk to that couch over there?"

Marcus raised his head and looked in the direction Neroon was pointing in. He had no idea if he had the strength left, but he preferred the walk to being carried there. So, he summoned his last bit of strength and managed to get to his feet, Neroon helping him. Neroon supported him and he was relieved when he sat down on the couch. The sofa was soft and warm compared to the cold, hard floor. Neroon told him to lie down and Marcus obeyed. He tried to keep his eyes from falling shut. Neroon covered him with the blanket.

" They will be here soon. You are safe, try to rest. I will go and see if the fighting has stopped."

Marcus nodded, feeling too weak to speak. He had to rely on Neroon. His body was hurt and drained of all strength. Neroon left the little room, locking the door behind him. Marcus allowed his eyes to close, he was tired of fighting to stay awake. He fell asleep, hoping that Susan would be there when he woke up...

 

Susan, Stephen and Michael were hurrying down to ringside. John was shouting orders at the security forces while Delenn appeared, hiding behind the rangers to stay out of sight. Susan looked at John for the final permission.

" Go and get him!"

Susan nodded. Michael was clearing a way for them. Even Stephen had grabbed a PPG, changed the setting to stun and ran after Michael and Susan. Three Lords of Death, firing at them, stopped them. They had to seek cover and Susan looked at Michael, wondering if the security Chief had any ideas. Michael shook his head in denial and shot his gun, the Lords of Death were forced to get into hiding as well.

" We need to get pass them if we want to get to Marcus."

Susan nodded, she knew Michael was right. But how? She was trying to figure it out when a Minbari ranger appeared, attacking the Lords of Death in the back. That was the chance they needed. Susan beckoned her friends and started to fire, to provide a distraction so Neroon could finish them off. Susan watched the pike do its deadly work. She actually hit one of the Lords of Death and he fell down to the floor. It only took two minutes to dispose of the remaining Lords of Death. Susan ran forward, followed by her friends. She stopped as she reached Neroon. The Minbari was smiling at her. Susan's first intention had been to punch the Minbari for all the pain he had inflicted on Marcus years ago but held back. Delenn had been right to warn her before going into battle. Had she met him without knowing that he was a ranger now, she would have tried to kill him. " Where's Marcus? What did you do to him?" Susan failed to keep her concern from her voice. She needed to be reassured that everything was fine.

" He is resting in a room. I will take you there." Neroon saw that the rangers and the security forces were in control of the chaos. They'd been successful in capturing and exposing the Lords of Death. He was satisfied. His only concern was for Ranger One now. He took them to the room where Marcus was resting. His alarms kicked in as he saw that the lock had been forced open. The door was ajar. Somebody was in there with him. " I locked the door before I left." Neroon whispered the words.

Susan was fighting off the fear that was consuming her. She had to be calm, she was the commanding officer in here. They looked at each other. Neroon seemed to reach a decision.

" Let me go in and see what is going on." Susan was too emotionally involved to stay calm.

Susan knew it also and nodded. " Michael, Stephen, be ready to get in there, should Neroon need us."

Neroon was pleased. He liked the idea of having somebody watching his back. He pushed the door open until he could look inside.

" You can come in now, traitor."

Neroon recognized the voice. It was the leader of the Lords of Death, who called himself Lucifer. He stepped into the room, his pike, collapsed, in his hand. Neroon discovered that Lucifer was alone. That was an advantage he could use. Neroon suddenly realized that Lucifer had a PPG at Marcus' temple, his finger ready to trigger the shot, which would make an end to Marcus' life. Neroon had to prevent that. He glanced at Marcus, while he kept an eye on Lucifer. He was relieved to see that Marcus was unconscious. Marcus had no idea what was going on. " What do you want?"

" To get out of here in one piece and I have the perfect hostage."

" He is unconscious. You can't carry him and keep the gun aimed at him the same time." Neroon had to think of something. He was furious that Marcus was held hostage this way.

" I will manage. I have done it before." To prove his words, he pushed against Marcus' back.

The pain made him return to consciousness again. Marcus felt the pain and heard the strange voice. He discovered that Neroon was standing in front of him, an angry expression on his face. The Minbari looked as if he was going to explode from anger. Marcus whimpered as another push made his back ache.

" Get moving. "

Marcus realized that the voice was talking to him. He was pushed and tripped over his own feet. That was the moment Neroon had been waiting for.

Lucifer was nervous and he had made his last mistake. Neroon flung himself at Lucifer, pulling Marcus aside in one movement. Then he extended the pike, hitting the PPG from Lucifer's hands. He slammed his fist into Lucifer's face and was delighted as Lucifer crumbled at his feet.

At that moment, Susan, Stephen and Michael rushed into the room. Susan only had eyes for Marcus who was lying on the floor, clutching his chest. " Marcus? Everything will be all right. I promise!" Susan knelt at his side and pulled his head into her lap, waiting for Stephen to join her. Michael was already calling in a medical team.

Marcus recognized her voice and opened his eyes to see her lovely face. " Susan... you're here... you're alive."

" Marcus, don't try to talk. You're wounded and you need all the rest you can get. Please, you have to survive... I can't go back to living without you."

Her hands caressed his face and he relaxed. He closed his eyes and passed out.

 

Stephen shouted orders while Marcus was wheeled into Medlab. Susan wanted to stay with Marcus, but Stephen stopped her. " You have to stay out here. Let us do our job. I promise you can see him when he is out of surgery."

Susan wanted to shout at him to let her in there, but she felt Delenn's hand on her shoulder.

" Please Susan. You have to calm down. Marcus will need you when he wakes up."

Delenn's words made sense and Susan accompanied Delenn to the chairs to sit down. She was glad that Delenn wasn't trying to lure her away from Medlab. She would stay here until she was sure that Marcus was out of danger. Neroon stayed at a distance, allowing the two women all the privacy they needed. He was informing Dave of what had happened. The four of them remained in the waiting area. Delenn was consoling Susan, who had started to cry softly and Neroon and Dave just kept silent, waiting for Stephen to return to them.

Stephen sighed. They had operated on Marcus for one hour. The dagger had shattered some nerves and they had to restore the damaged area. Marcus would have to go through a lot of physical therapy to ensure that the arm would heal entirely Had the wound been treated immediately then the damage would have been very small. Stephen mentally made a note to get Marcus some physical therapy. The other wounds were easily treated and would heal without leaving any damage. But there would be some more scars on his body. Stephen looked at Marcus' bandaged chest and back and threw his surgical gloves away. He was tired, but Susan needed to know that everything would be all right. So he headed to the waiting area where he found the four of them.

Susan rose at once. Her eyes were filled with fear.

" He will be fine. He will need therapy for his arm, but the wounds will heal. Do you want to see him?" The question was directed at all four of them. Marcus would still be unconscious, but he knew that seeing him would convince his friends that Marcus was going to recover.

" Please…" Delenn answered for all of them and they followed Stephen into Medlab One. Susan froze when she saw him. He looked so fragile. She walked up to his bed and held his hand in hers. He was asleep and had a peaceful expression on his face. Susan couldn't fight her tears and she cried.

" We will leave now." It was Neroon's voice that wakened her from her trance.

Susan put his hand back on the blanket and looked Neroon in the eye." Neroon, thank you for helping him. I misjudged you."

Neroon grinned. " I misjudged myself, so how could I blame you for doing the same thing?" Neroon bowed slightly, a movement Dave imitated before leaving the room.

Delenn turned Susan around so they were facing each other. " I will be there for you, should you need me." Delenn smiled and left as well. Susan pulled up a chair and sat down. She stared at his face, hoping he would wake up. She had come so close to losing him...

 

It was only hours later that Marcus started to stir from his drug induced sleep and he returned to consciousness only slowly. He wanted to stay asleep, away from the pain that coursed through his arm. Something heavy rested on his left shoulder. He looked through half opened eyes and sighed when he recognized Susan who had fallen asleep, her head resting on his shoulder. He realized that he was in Medlab. That could only mean that the rangers had been successful in finding him. He remembered his talk with Neroon and shivered. Even though he knew that the Minbari was on his side, he couldn't ignore the fear he had felt when Neroon had broken his ribs two years earlier. He still had nightmares about Neroon.

" Marcus?"

Marcus tried to smile at Susan who was waking up as well. " I am... fine, Susan... I’m so glad you're still alive..."

Susan brushed his lips, deepening the kiss. He responded and pulled her closer. Holding her felt so good.

" I’m going to get Stephen. He asked me to let him know the moment you woke up." Susan brushed his hair back, losing herself in his green orbs. She wiped away her tears and went off to find Stephen. On her way out she literally ran into Neroon.

" Captain, I was wondering if I could talk to Marcus. I am leaving for Minbar in one hour and..."

Susan cut him short. " I understand... talk to him." Susan did understand. Neroon needed to confront Marcus one last time after all they had been through.

Neroon bowed once more and entered Medlab One to find Marcus in his bed, fully awake. " Entil'Zha?"

Marcus looked up. He hadn't heard the warrior enter and felt a brief moment of fear when Neroon came closer. Marcus remembered another time when Neroon had visited him in Medlab. He remembered that visit only vaguely, due to the medication he had been subjected to. " Neroon." Marcus waited for Neroon the take the first step. He had no idea why Neroon was in here.

" I wanted to return these to you."

Marcus recognized his pike and his brown cloak. Neroon placed them on the chair. Marcus saw the reverence in Neroon's movements when he put the items down. " I never thought that you would ever join the rangers, Neroon."

" Neither did I, but I changed and now I feel honored that I was able to help you."

" You called me Entil Zha, does that mean that you accept the fact that a human leads the rangers?"

" There is nothing to accept. Delenn made a wise choice and I think that you are the leader the rangers need."

Marcus was deeply touched by that comment. He never imagined that Neroon would be supporting him one day. " Thank you for saving my life. If you hadn't jumped into the cage I would have been killed."

Neroon laughed and Marcus had no idea why. Neroon's laughter diminished and died at last. " I almost killed you myself years ago. I am thankful that I listened to my inner voice, which was telling me to let you live. I am leaving for Minbar in some minutes and I wanted to let you know that I will train the rangers to the best of my abilities."

" I know you will." His fatigue returned. Neroon bowed and left the room. He wished he could have some peace and quiet, but his hopes were shattered when Stephen entered the room, Susan one step behind him.

" So, how are you doing, Marcus? You were in shock when you came in and you lost a lot of blood."

" I’m fine now, Stephen." He looked pleadingly at Susan who sat down once more and kissed her hand.

Susan looked at the man she loved more than life itself and felt completely at peace with the universe.

 

RECKONING DAY PART 20 OF 20

 

Marcus couldn't express the relief he felt when Stephen finally released him from Medlab. He had been in there for 4 days and as far as he was concerned, that was much too long.

" You understand that you need to rest, Marcus? Your injuries are healing nicely, but you have to give your body time to recover from everything you went through." Stephen observed his friend and was glad that Marcus was leaving. He had been driving him insane these four days. Stephen hoped that Marcus wasn't returning for a long time. He needed some quiet.

" If he refuses to rest, I will make him." Susan smiled at Marcus who seemed restless and wanted to get back to his quarters.

Marcus ignored her remark. " Can I go now?" Marcus rose from the bed, a bit unsteady because he had been confined to bed for days. He smiled as Susan steadied him. She was always there when he needed her.

Susan didn't let go of him. She knew that he often overestimated his strength. But he seemed all right. Only his right arm needed more time to heal and Marcus would have to return to Medlab daily for his therapy. They left in silence and Stephen was happy that Medlab was quiet again.

Marcus had no problems walking to his quarters. He felt a tad tired, but Susan's presence made him feel relaxed. She had taken the day off to stay with him. Delenn and John had visited him in Medlab before they had to return to Earth, taking Lennier with them once more. Dave had been appointed as Marcus' new aide, but Marcus had given Dave the day off too, so he would be free to spend it with Susan. She opened the door and led him to the couch. Marcus sighed, glad to be back in his quarters. He sat down, feeling more tired than he had expected he would.

" Do you want some tea?"

Marcus nodded, he liked that.

Susan disappeared into the kitchen. She needed to get away from him for a second. She had been having nightmares these last four nights. Her conscience was trying to get through to her. She had to tell Marcus who she really was. The secret was devastating her and she had to get it in the open, but how? She was so scared that she was going to lose his love over this matter. She should keep quiet and let it be, but she couldn't. Marcus still felt terribly guilty over Susan Michaels’ death and she was the only one who could take away his pain. She was so lost in thoughts that she didn't hear Marcus enter the kitchen. She didn't see the worried look on his face.

Marcus watched her, apparently lost in her own world. He was concerned for her. He had seen her haunted eyes during these last couple of days, but he didn't want to infringe on her privacy. He would give her the time she needed to open up to him. "Susan, are you all right, love?" She returned to the present and she whirled around, facing him.

She had every intention of telling him, but now that she was looking into his love filled eyes, her courage eluded her. She couldn't tell him, not now, not like this. " Yes... I think I’m still getting accustomed to the fact that everything turned out so well. I was so scared when I started to remember what happened. I didn't want to lose you."

Marcus opened his arms and she wrapped herself around him. He was everything she needed, everything she would ever want. Lorien had promised her forty years. She was determined to make the best of it. She noticed that his right arm lacked the power to hold her close. The injury had been too severe. Susan hoped that he would regain full control over his arm. But Stephen had pointed out to them that there was a chance that the arm would never heal properly. She fortified her hold on him, she needed him so badly and he was hers.

" Why don't we forget the tea and try to get some sleep. I know I didn't sleep that well in Medlab and judging by the circles under your eyes you didn't get much sleep either."

Susan put the water away and walked with him to the bedroom. She had to admit that she liked being here. His quarters were bigger and much more comfortable than her own. She seriously considered moving in with him. She took off her boots and jacket, too tired to get rid off the pants and shirt. Marcus was struggling with his cloak. He needed both arms to get it off and Susan went over to him to help him.

He accepted her help, although he hated feeling this helpless. He gathered her close to him when they lay down. Susan pulled up the comforter and rested her head on his shoulder.

" I love you, Marcus."

" I love you too, darling." He kissed her on her brow.

She treasured the way he surrounded her with his love. Her last thought before falling asleep was that she hoped that the nightmares wouldn't haunt her anymore, now that she was safe in his embrace.

Marcus watched her fall asleep. He envied her. He had tossed these four nights before falling asleep at last. Stephen had even offered him some sleeping pills, but Marcus had declined. He stroked back some hair that had fallen over her face and studied her expression. There were some lines of anguish on her forehead and he wondered why she was this upset. He had noticed the little things she used to do to divert his attention from her when she felt uncomfortable. Marcus caressed her hair and exhaustion claimed him finally. He slipped into sleep, unaware that his eyes closed and his mind relaxed, feeling her so close to him.

Susan was having the same nightmare as she had had during these last four nights. Marcus turned away from her as she told him who she truly was. He was walking away from her, leaving her to the deafening silence in her head.

" Susan, please wake up, you are having a bad dream." Marcus sat upright, concern showed on his face. She had been screaming his name and he tried to wake her at once. Her voice sounded ragged and her breathing was laboured. " Susan... everything will be all right... I’m here." Marcus pulled her close, she yielded immediately and started to cry. Hot tears fell on his hands as he tried to comfort her while stroking her cheeks.

" You don't understand..."

Marcus' heart was being torn apart when he heard her sob. " Then make me understand. I know that something is brothering you."

Susan couldn't look him in the eye. How could she tell him everything that had happened to her?

" Tell me Susan. I love you."

" You won't love me anymore once you know... I don't want to lose your love. It has taken me so long to find it!"

Marcus cupped her face in his hand and raised her head so she had to look him in the eye.

" Don't you realize that I will always love you? No matter what?"

Susan sobbed even harder now. She had to tell him. This was the moment she had feared." I don't know where to start." Marcus was still forcing her to look at him and she closed her eyes. She couldn't bear the pain to see the loathing in his eyes when she told him. " I’m not the Susan Ivanova you know. I come from an alternate universe... an universe in which you succeeded in giving your life-force for me." She opened her eyes and saw his stunned look. He hadn't been expecting something like this. " You died for me and I was left behind all alone. You have no idea how much I hated myself for never telling you that I knew you loved me... I wished I had told you that I loved you too, but I was so afraid of getting hurt again after Talia... I was so wrong and I lived with that guilt for 25 years...When I died, I died alone. My last thoughts were for you."

" Susan…"

Marcus tried to soothe her, comfort her, but she cut him off. She needed to say this now, while she had the courage to do so.” I… died and then... I met Lorien who told me that my soul would be judged.... there was only one question I had to answer... had I loved?" Susan's eyes were dry now and her heart broke into pieces. He was still staring at her, trying to determine if she had gone mad.

" I had to answer that question… I had foolishly thrown your love away, knowing so well that you would never leave or hurt me. I was given the chance to come here, where you were still alive. My only mission was to keep you alive, to help you heal your wounds..."

" How, I don't remember..." Then the revelation suddenly hit him." Susan Michaels... it was you!"

Susan nodded. She wasn't sure that he would still be there in the end for her, but he was taking this better than she had expected. " Yes. That was me. You have no idea how it felt to see you alive, to have you so close....When Stephen gave you those sleeping pills, I sneaked into your bed, just to hold you. I had wanted to do that for 25 years... 25 years of loneliness because I was too afraid to face my own feelings."

"Are you a telepath?"

Susan had dreaded this question, but she owed him an answer. " I’m latent, P2. I kept it a secret because I was afraid that Bester would come for me..."

" But then... you died... you... died defending me!"

" I died that night for a second time and I would do it again... I couldn't let you die. You have so much to give... the rangers need you..."

Marcus was trying hard to understand everything, but his brain seemed numb.

" As I was dying Lorien spoke to me and then I woke up in that damned cryo tube. I couldn't believe the second chance I had been given. I was determined to get everything right this time. I know that I should have told you back then, but I was so afraid that you were going to turn me away. I can't live without you Marcus. You are..." Her voice refused to continue talking. She had closed her eyes again, too afraid to look at Marcus who was still repeating the same question.

" You died for me?"

Susan looked at him and was baffled to see the love and the tears in his eyes. He was repeating the question over and over again, as if not understanding its meaning. Susan realized that he needed some time to comprehend what she had told him. Her heart was light now she had told him, but the fear of his rejection remained. " Gladly... you did the same thing for me, Marcus..."

Marcus kissed the tears away from her face, tasting the salt. " You’re Susan Ivanova, no matter what happened to you. I do love you, only you. I love you more than life itself and... I can't believe that you love me that much... that you would come back from the dead to be with me. I don't care about you being a telepath, it makes you just a little more special to me. I love every aspect of you, Susan Ivanova. "

" I guess I owe Lorien a thank you the next time we meet him....but that won't happen for a long time. This time, when my time arrives to die I won't be alone or afraid. "

She caressed his face, wiping his tears away. He realized that she had been afraid that this confession would change everything between them. But he loved her even more. He didn't understand where she had come from or what Lorien's part in all this was... he didn't care. The only thing that mattered to him was that Susan was in his arms. He kissed her, passionately and he felt her response.

" I love you, Marcus, more than you will ever know."

Marcus released her lips to look her in the eye. " We will never be apart again. That's a promise!"

Susan relaxed in his embrace. Somewhere in her mind she heard Lorien. " Cherish the love you found, for true love is rare."

Susan licked the last remaining tear from Marcus' face and listened to his heartbeat. She returned the kiss he was giving her and his body responded to hers. Passion was clouding his eyes and Susan pulled him on top of her. She stared into his eyes and knew that he would never leave her.....

 

RECKONING DAY EPILOQUE

 

TENNYSON WROTE THE POEM. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED AS WELL.

 

" I’m sorry, but there is nothing we can do."

Susan listened to her doctor with a calm expression on her face while Marcus' soft hands warmed hers. She had always known that the cancer would be fatal one day. The doctors had diagnosed her with spinal cancer 4 months ago. After 40 years, which had been filled with love she was now dying. Lorien had spoken the truth and had kept his promise.

" Come, darling. Lets go home."

Marcus helped her up from the chair and Susan looked at him. His hair was grey, almost white now and there were lines of worry on his face. But his eyes still held the same intensity as 40 years ago. Susan was quiet as they traveled back to their house. They had been living on Minbar these last 35 years. Marcus had led the rangers during 34 years before handing his role over to their only son, William who had proven to be one of the best rangers there had ever been. They had been very proud when he accepted his calling as Ranger One.

There had been tears in Marcus' eyes when William had been officially installed as Entil’Zha. Susan had never regretted her decision to leave Earthforce and move in with Marcus. The birth of their son had been one of the most important moments in her life. She vividly remembered the first time she had looked in her son’s eyes, which still resembled Marcus. They shared the same intense green color. She secretly loved the fact that William had his eyes. Watching William become a man had brought them even closer together.

Telling him that his mother was terminally ill had been the worst moment in their lives.

 

Susan settled down on the couch and Marcus fixed her some coffee. His right arm had never entirely healed and sometimes the wound actually caused him pain. " Susan?"

" Yes, love?"

" I know that you have kept your thoughts to yourself lately, but please tell me...?"

Susan knew what he was asking. She had given it lots of thought and there wasn’t much time left. " You promised me a vacation years ago... I want to go and see Babylon 5 one last time."

"Are you sure? The place is almost deserted. It has been turned into a tourist attraction."

" Yes, I’m sure... just the two of us. We will leave William a message. I said my good-byes to him... He will always be in my heart. I am so thankful we were able to watch him grow up."

" Me too. I’m so proud of him!" Marcus handed her the coffee. She wasn't in any pain right now. The doctor had given her some heavy painkillers. But he knew that she was dying. He could tell by looking at her no longer sparkling eyes. He caressed her long, grey hair and she cuddled up to him. After 40 years their love was still as intense as it had been in the beginning. He had never betrayed her trust or hurt her.

Susan saw the tears in his eyes, which were trying to surface. They had shared everything, love, passion, pain, hurt, sadness, bliss.

" If that is what you want... I will make all necessary arrangements." Marcus kissed her and pushed back his fear. How much longer would he be able to hold her like this?

 

Marcus had set the autopilot. He looked at Susan who was asleep in the seat next to him. He had chosen a small civilian shuttle to get them to Babylon 5. He understood why she wanted to go Babylon 5. It had been the beginning of their life together and it was only appropriate that her life would end there.

Marcus treasured these forty years they had shared together. She had told him everything; her being Entil’Zha, the pain she had felt after he had died in her universe. He had been in awe when at last, he realized how deep her love for him was and he hadn’t been able to hold back his tears, which had needed to find release.

Susan’s mind registered his mental pain. As the years had passed by, Susan had found that she was linked to his mind in a strange way. She couldn't read his thoughts, but his emotions... she felt them like her own and now, she felt his agony. He was crying because she would leave him behind when she died. He was scared of the loneliness. " Marcus?"

Susan unstrapped and moved to sit on his lap. He immediately embraced her. Fierce emotions rolled off him.

" Everything will be all right. Lorien will be waiting for me... and I will wait for you. I’m no longer afraid to answer that question. I have loved you with all my heart..."

" Susan..."

Susan reached out to touch his mind as she had done so many times before. She always managed to calm him down by just being there. He had never detested her telepathic abilities and she loved him even more for it. //Just relax, Marcus. No matter what happens these next couple of days, we will be together again in the end.// She sent him all the love and affection she felt for him and he stared at her hands, taking them in his and kissed them reverently.

" Incoming message from Babylon 5."

Marcus stirred from his trance and both of them watched the space station grow larger.

" Home." Susan sighed, holding Marcus even closer to her.

 

Susan wondered why the space station was this quiet. After it had been turned into a tourist attraction all different kind of races had come here to see where it had all started. " Marcus? Where are all the people?" Secretly, Susan was thankful that the station appeared empty.

" I told you I would make all arrangements. They closed it down for today. It is all ours."

Susan pulled him closer and folded her arms around him. She would always love him. " I want to go to C&C. "

Marcus watched her, concern apparent in his eyes. She was pushing herself to the limits, but he followed her and felt strangely at home. The best part of his life had started here. Susan walked through C&C, remembering how hard she had worked to keep the staff terrified of her. But her reputation had been dented all the times when she had kissed Marcus in here, ignoring the eyes of her staff. Corwin had actually been embarrassed when she had pinned Marcus to the wall once with her body. To be honest, Marcus had been blushing furiously. She had enjoyed that scene.

" Susan, you should rest."

She tangled her arms around him and led him to her old office. She was running out of time. Her body was growing weaker. " Marcus, I can rest all I want to in an hour. You can feel it too, can't you?"

Marcus avoided looking her in the eyes, but it was true. He sensed her growing weaker all the time. She would die soon, too soon.

" Let me do this my own way." Susan pleaded with him and like always, he gave in. The place brought back so many memories, memories of the both lives she had lived. She had righted everything in this life, she loved Marcus, had given birth to their son. Marcus was suffering and she hated that, but her death was inevitable. //Marcus, lets go to my old quarters. I’m getting tired.//

Marcus was momentarily surprised when he heard her mind voice. He liked having her inside his head. They walked to her quarters. When she had resigned as Captain she had left behind all her stuff. She wanted to start a different life on Minbar with Marcus. At the same time Babylon 5 seemed to have outlived its purpose and when it became a museum they had left everything the way it was. Even her old code still worked and when the door opened she sighed. The poetry book Marcus had been reading to her was in the same spot, next to the couch, opened on the same page. //This feels... like coming home.// She sensed his agreement.

" I always thought that the years we spent here were special, even though we were fighting those bloody wars!"

Susan sat down on the couch. Her body refused to carry her weight any longer. Marcus joined her and she lay down, her head in his lap. He stroked her hair and she was enjoying his touch one more time. This would be the last time. //Marcus, when I am dead... promise me you will go on living. William needs you, especially when he finds out that I am gone... tell Michael, Lise, Stephen, Lillian and Lennier what happened.//

" Don't worry, love. I learned my lesson. I will be there for William... and when my time comes, I will join you on the other side."

//I know you will.// Susan lacked the strength to talk to him, so she simply sent him the message. It was so much easier and she knew that he didn't mind her doing that. //Read something to me? You were reciting a poem last time we were in here.//

Marcus kissed her forehead. The love of his life was dying and he felt anguished, but also knew that she was at peace. He would have to let her go and wait for his time to join her. He reached over to collect the poetry book. He read the poem, quickly and tense. Was this the page they had left off reading?

//What is wrong, love?//

Marcus cringed, her mind’s voice was also getting weaker. " Nothing, just sleep, my love."

She opened her eyes and Marcus saw they were starting to crack apart. He had to be strong for her sake. " I love you, Susan."

She managed to lift her hand and pulled his face close enough to hers to kiss his lips. Marcus couldn't fight his tears any longer.

//We will meet again in a place where no shadows fall.//

Marcus held her close and nodded.

//The poem... //

Marcus felt her slip away from him and he had to honor her last request. Softly, he began to recite the poem;

 

Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,

Tears from the depth of some divine despair

rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,

In looking on the happy Autumn-fields,

And thinking of the days that are no more.

 

Fresh as the first beam glittering on a sail,

That brings our friends up from the underworld,

Sad as the last which reddens over one

That sinks with all we love below the verge;

 

So sad, so fresh, the days that are no more.

Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns

The earliest pipe of half-awaken'd birds

To dying ears, when unto dying eyes

The casement slowly grows a summering square;

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.

 

He stopped reading when her head slipped to one side, drawing her lungs drew in her last breath in this world. She had died in his arms as she had always wanted to. Marcus hugged her lifeless body, missing the comfort of her voice inside his head. He would honor her and go on living, giving William all his experience, knowledge and love. Lovingly, he stared at her peaceful face, which was graced by the happiest smile he had ever seen on her face. Certain that he would be reunited with her when he would die he took the book once more in his hands to finish the poem, although she could no longer hear him.

 

Dear as remember'd kisses after death,

And sweet as those by hopeless fancy feign'd

On lips that are for others; deep as love,

Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;

O Death in Life, the days that are no more!

 

Marcus placed the book on the table where it had waited for them for 35 years. Gently, he gathered her dead body in his arms and carried her to the shuttle to take her back to Minbar. It had been her last wish to be buried next to John and Delenn. Marcus knew that it wouldn't take long before he would be at her side once more, this time for all eternity...

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

" Father, where are you? I have great news... you are a...granddad!" William froze when he discovered him. Marcus was sitting in the garden against a rock. William knew at once that his father was dead and knelt beside him to close Marcus' eyes.

//Marcus? where are you?//

Marcus wondered why everybody was looking for him, when he realized that his surroundings had changed significantly. He thought he was hallucinating when he recognized that sweet voice, tinted with impatience. //Susan?//

Suddenly he saw her, young, shining, full of love and she was running towards him.

She grabbed his waist and kissed him. It felt so good.

Marcus swirled her around, relishing her beauty and realized that his arm no longer hurt. Catching their reflection in the mirror like surroundings he realized that youth had been restored to both of them.

//It is time to go now, children.//

Lorien beckoned them to come closer and smiled at them. They had earned the right to be together, forever....

 

The end

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